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Old 04-02-2010, 01:33 PM
 
946 posts, read 2,525,292 times
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I wrote a thread a couple of weeks ago about coming to Rome and Napoli and about my safety as a solo female traveller. I just left Rome- such a beautiful city!! No problems with security, a lot of tourists, and I felt pretty safe. I just arrived at Napoli about an hour ago. It's nighttime but still relatively early, and I was starving so I decided to go out to grab a meal at McDonalds since it was the closest thing (and I'll have plenty of time to eat pizza!) . So, I already know about the forwardness of men here and how different they are from American men, but I was not prepared for the following! So at Mcdonalds, while I was eating, this man comes into the room, stands there, and just stares at me. Creepy, but whatever, I'm already pretty used to this. About 10 minutes later when I'm finishing my meal he comes and sits down in my table in front of me! Now it's really creepy because he doesn't even look at me, except when he accidentally drops something onto my tray and says "Scusa"...I don't know much italian so I muttered, "It's ok...", and then he really loudly says in Italian, "wHAT!!?" I just shake my head and continue eating. I get up to leave and he asks me if I'm leaving, to which I say yes. The feeling I got from this guy was so creepy! So anyway, seeing as it was still pretty early, I decide to go for a walk to get to know the city a little more. I wasn't even 100 meters from my hotel when a guy in a car stops me and starts making small talk. He hardly knew a word of English. He offered to show me the city, etc., and everytime I kept saying no and leaving he'd be like, "Wait wait!!!". I finally managed to get away from him, but then there was another car waiting like 10 feet away, and the same deal with him! At least this second guy knew english, but he was still so annoying. They don't take no for an answer! It took me a while to get away from him too. I was already pretty discouraged from walking further (since the second guy told me it was pretty dangerous to walk there at night), so I turned to go back home. The first guy had never left and had been waiting for me, and he turned to catch up to me again. Gosh. What's wrong with these men? How do Italian women deal with them? I'm not even blond, I have dark hair and eyes, but men here stare at me as if they've never seen a woman in their life! It's only my first night here...boy am I looking forward to the upcoming ones .
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Old 04-02-2010, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Denver
9,224 posts, read 15,941,049 times
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Yup and they know American women love them too. My wife (who's Mexican) went over to Napoli with her friend from Scotland touring Spain, Ibiza, France, Italy etc..(I trust my wife )

She said the rudest men in the world are there, they would come up to her at the restaurant or bar and literally try to grab their drinks from their hand to get a free slurp. They wouldn't let go either, they would tug like it was funny. Of course after this little rude game, the guys would stand there staring at them and asking if they wanted to get a table together, drink or dance.

What's sad is that I recommended Napoli because I had been there in 1994 and enjoyed it very much. Pizza was awesome. But I guess it is a different experience for a women.
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Old 04-02-2010, 04:34 PM
 
Location: SW France
14,258 posts, read 14,144,864 times
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You poor thing.

We have only ever passed through Napoli to get elsewhere but I won't be letting my daughter go there alone.
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Old 04-03-2010, 05:52 AM
 
946 posts, read 2,525,292 times
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Yes, now I know why people would tell me not to come here alone. It's extremely intimidating. I'm not American either, I'm from Latin America. I guess it's just a very rare site to see a young female alone. I'm the type of person who hates being rude, but kindly saying no will not drive them away, they persist and persist and persist. It's so annoying .
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Old 04-03-2010, 06:12 AM
 
Location: on an island
13,382 posts, read 40,925,492 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilamx View Post
Yes, now I know why people would tell me not to come here alone. It's extremely intimidating. I'm not American either, I'm from Latin America. I guess it's just a very rare site to see a young female alone. I'm the type of person who hates being rude, but kindly saying no will not drive them away, they persist and persist and persist. It's so annoying .
My sympathies.
Back in 1978, I was the same (and a tall 22 year old blonde!)
I was not raised to be so blunt and self-assertive. (I did actually meet some nice, polite guys, but had some weird experiences, too.)
Do you know any Italian or have a phrasebook? Maybe lasciami in pace would get more results than grazie, no. There are coarser phrases, but you get the idea.
I still think it's cool that you went to Napoli and I hope you at least got to the archaeological museum and found some good pizza.
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Old 04-03-2010, 07:20 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,403,340 times
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It's just Italian culture, I suppose, probably harmless but annoying. It's a pity it prevents you from enjoying the place, you should have a right to travel alone and not be harrassed.
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Old 04-03-2010, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Eureka CA
8,255 posts, read 11,121,603 times
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For what it's worth, I've heard it's even worse in Greece!
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Old 04-05-2010, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 13,989,816 times
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lilamx, your experience with that guy in car reminded me of a very similar experience I had in San Francisco about 20 years ago. Difference is, this guy was on foot and he walked alongside me for blocks. Finally, I told him a big fat lie about meeting him at a corner somewhere and that enabled him to leave me alone. Very scary. And I avoided that street for the remainder of my stay.

I know a woman who travelled to Egypt alone, and she discovered that the men lacked respect for her it, and they showed it very brazenly by inappropriate behavior. And this is supposed to be a culture that emphasizes the avoidance of sexual attraction (women).
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Old 04-12-2010, 01:39 PM
 
476 posts, read 1,015,284 times
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I spent time in Italy on and off for over a year and had similar experiences with local gents. I'd lived in South America and guys there were just as forward. There are things you have to tolerate as a woman traveling solo. As long as you're safe and enjoying yourself, that's what matters.

Last time I visited the Vatican, I stood just across the street waiting for the bus. A man introduced himself to me and I smiled and said ciao, then turned my attention back to my book. He then told me how beautiful I was (not an unusual line), how fortunate he was to have found me here (again nothing new, playing the "fate" card), and plunged into graphic detail about the sexual escapades we could enjoy.

Was such an immediate let down from the Vatican.

He's one of my favorite travel stories; there's always a bright side.
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Old 04-12-2010, 02:30 PM
 
9,830 posts, read 19,581,819 times
Reputation: 7604
Wonder where you can find the inverse with aggressive women throwing themselves at you
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