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It is true that many states have anti-stalking laws but you apparently don't know how the real world works.
As serious as murder, a convicted murderer can be out in 5-8 years. As small as violating a restraint order? He can be out in 5-8 days! If he does his part, he may even get to your home earlier than you do.
Please do not kid yourself. Go look up the stats on restraint order violation. You will see it takes what kind of violation for the court to do something. There's a case the stalker violated the order and got arrested a few dozen times (close to 100) and finally got sentenced to a year in prison - he'd be out in a few months by the way if that.
wait- so what solution are you offering? are you suggesting a person bypass the law entirely? i am not the greatest fan of authority myself but if a person has ANY legal recourse i suggest they take that first. this does not include a restraining order, which has famously been shown to be more inflammatory than it is a solution.
and speaking of solutions- this guy needs solutions- not someone telling him how hopeless it is.
wait- so what solution are you offering? are you suggesting a person bypass the law entirely? i am not the greatest fan of authority myself but if a person has ANY legal recourse i suggest they take that first. this does not include a restraining order, which has famously been shown to be more inflammatory than it is a solution.
and speaking of solutions- this guy needs solutions- not someone telling him how hopeless it is.
I already suggested solutions - at least to the best of my knowledge. You can read it my other posts.
As a former state AND federal prosecutor for 15 years, and now a criminal defense attorney, I think I know a little bit about "how the real world works".
Why don't you provide these mystical "stats" you refer to? Provide me with some actual cases in reference to your claims, then I *might* take you seriously.
I found myself in the same pickle several years ago. My friend's ex was stalking her and, because I was her friend, I became a target also. I had all 4 of my tires slashed and my car keyed. That was the least of what he did, really. I could not prove a thing so nothing could be done.
In the end, he tried to run me down with his car and pointed a gun at me. The one, and only, reason he ended up in jail was because someone called the cops when he pulled that little stunt. He ran from the police, ended up being caught with guns under his seat and drugs.
The kicker is that he was only charged with running and unlawful posession. Didn't spend one day in jail for what he did to me or my friend, even after the police reports we filed on numerous occasions.
Hate to say it, but all you can do is wait until you have proof on something good and hope that it sticks.
So, in lieu of case law, you post up some old report from a CONNECTICUT lawyer?
Perhaps you don't understand the point of having a restraining order.
The purpose of a restraining order is to have an ORDER from the court. When that ORDER is violated, the court can take action against the violator. If there is no ORDER, the court has nothing to base punishment on, unless the stalker has blatantly committed some statutory offense which in all likelihood, would need to have been documented by law enforcement either directly or circumstantially.
In all honesty, I am not even remotely interested in what you have to say, or in whatever additional information you have to post up for me. My original post was geared toward providing useful information to the OP, and I am going to leave it at that. The OP has been provided some good information from various posters and I wish him/her the best in handling this situation.
Last edited by Twinkle Toes; 11-21-2010 at 11:13 PM..
Reason: Afterthought
So, in lieu of case law, you post up some old report from a CONNECTICUT lawyer?
Perhaps you don't understand the point of having a restraining order.
The purpose of a restraining order is to have an ORDER from the court. When that ORDER is violated, the court can take action against the violator. If there is no ORDER, the court has nothing to base punishment on, unless the stalker has blatantly committed some statutory offense which in all likelihood, would need to have been documented by law enforcement either directly or circumstantially.
In all honesty, I am not even remotely interested in what you have to say, or in whatever additional information you have to post up for me. My original post was geared toward providing useful information to the OP, and I am going to leave it at that. The OP has been provided some good information from various posters and I wish him/her the best in handling this situation.
again, restraining orders have proven to be more inflammatory than they are helpful. i don't know if you have read gavin debeckers "the gift of fear", i know someone mentioned that on this thread, but he actually warns against them.
anyway, i always think its silly when people start arguing on a forum. i am guilty of it too. i hope the OP keeps us posted because this is some truly frightening stuff.
So, in lieu of case law, you post up some old report from a CONNECTICUT lawyer?
Perhaps you don't understand the point of having a restraining order.
The purpose of a restraining order is to have an ORDER from the court. When that ORDER is violated, the court can take action against the violator. If there is no ORDER, the court has nothing to base punishment on, unless the stalker has blatantly committed some statutory offense which in all likelihood, would need to have been documented by law enforcement either directly or circumstantially.
In all honesty, I am not even remotely interested in what you have to say, or in whatever additional information you have to post up for me. My original post was geared toward providing useful information to the OP, and I am going to leave it at that. The OP has been provided some good information from various posters and I wish him/her the best in handling this situation.
I don't see how your comments are helpful at all. Read your own posts and let me highlight "law enforcement." The whole legal system and law enforcement, as you have so much experience in, are there NOT to prevent crimes but to enforce the law AFTER crimes have been committed. You really need to see the difference.
Yes, by filing complaints etc. may help me win a case, but what good is that going to do if the guy comes to me with a butcher knife after he's out of jail for restraining order violation? Can I show him his restraining order when he's ready to slash me in half?
Over 20% of violence happened while a standing restraining order is in place! You can see this in the OP's post as the guy violated restraining order, got arrested and got out right away.
Try to diffuse the situation is way better than try to inflame it.
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