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Old 09-28-2011, 05:29 AM
 
Location: Chambersburg PA
1,739 posts, read 1,761,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Well...you certainly can't say that CPS doesn't do their job.
Actually, I can. They are about as imcompetent as they can possibly be.
I have a friend whose sister was a crack *****, she would leave her kids with anyone for weeks. We both called CPS many times, but because the children where generally left with somebody who cared for the kids, there was nothing they would do.
It was only after a hit and run accident (which I reported because the chick had the audacity to come to my house) and her subsequent dissappearance leaving the kids with some guy in a known crack house...that CPS decided to step in. The girls were dirty, the baby covered in sores and had severe diaper rash and were de-hydrated. The girls were put in foster care, but "mom" still got to dictate that they were not to see their aunt (my friend who actually cared about them, and wanted to take them)
Add to all this, 'chicky" ended up with another guy, had another baby, and was allowed to keep the baby. She had 3 kids in foster care, but so what? She ended up running off again, and that baby went to the guys sister.
I'm continually writing letters to C&Y and making calls because of the stupidity of many of their decisions.
I'm not popular, but I don't much care. I want them to do their jobs. To me, that means, stop harrassing innocent people and take care of children who are obviously being abused and neglected.
There are 2 men in my town who are in their 20's. They routinely chase young teenage girls who are not in the best homes. They have had the police called on them several times, had C&Y called on them several times (along with the girl's moms) but nothing has been done. The one girl who is 17, had a baby to the one guy, last year. He's 24 now. he's been "dating her" since she was 14. His mom is a foster parent.
Tell me this isn't screwed up.
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Old 09-28-2011, 05:35 AM
 
Location: Chambersburg PA
1,739 posts, read 1,761,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagranola View Post
I disagree about foster parents, having known many.

The rest, I'm agreeing with...

Call & call & call & call. Often times people stop calling because it appears "nothing" is done.

My mom worked in an elementary school for years where there was a LOT of abuse & even some child murder/rape cases... She said that the staff was taught this... The #1 health risk to a child was an unrelated (ex: mom's boyfriend) adult living in the home.
I disagree with the step-parents, having been one, and known many. However, I do agree with the foster parents, having known many people who were in foster care, including my own husband.
I guess it's just a matter of perspective.
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Old 09-28-2011, 06:40 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,920,956 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by faeryedark View Post
Actually, I can. They are about as imcompetent as they can possibly be.
There will always be injustices and abuse of the system.

In your case, reports could have been made by a mandated reporter, perhaps the ER as you said, an educator or a neighbor looking for some revenge bc you've been outspoken.

Anyone can be a foster parent after they're certified, Im certain they do background checks to see if theres any criminal record, interviews and a home inspection.

After kids are placed, no one dictates visitation but CPS and possibly foster parent. Anyone who has unsupervised visits is cleared by background check first. If your friends aunt wants to see the child, she can call the CPS worker directly and request a supervised visit or unsupervised visit. The child may not want to see the aunt, but they may not want to say this. Most of the agencies have visitation rooms on site, however, rooms are equipped with audio and video. So if this aunt has a genuine desire to see the child she might want to check into this avenue.
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Old 09-28-2011, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Chambersburg PA
1,739 posts, read 1,761,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
There will always be injustices and abuse of the system.

In your case, reports could have been made by a mandated reporter, perhaps the ER as you said, an educator or a neighbor looking for some revenge bc you've been outspoken.

Anyone can be a foster parent after they're certified, Im certain they do background checks to see if theres any criminal record, interviews and a home inspection.

After kids are placed, no one dictates visitation but CPS and possibly foster parent. Anyone who has unsupervised visits is cleared by background check first. If your friends aunt wants to see the child, she can call the CPS worker directly and request a supervised visit or unsupervised visit. The child may not want to see the aunt, but they may not want to say this. Most of the agencies have visitation rooms on site, however, rooms are equipped with audio and video. So if this aunt has a genuine desire to see the child she might want to check into this avenue.
This was several years ago, the children have been adopted out now. At the time, my friend put the caseworker on speakerphone and she said 'the mother has requested that you not have visits with the children and we will honor that"
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Old 09-28-2011, 08:16 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,920,956 times
Reputation: 17987
Quote:
Originally Posted by faeryedark View Post
This was several years ago, the children have been adopted out now. At the time, my friend put the caseworker on speakerphone and she said 'the mother has requested that you not have visits with the children and we will honor that"
She could have pressed the issue had she wanted.

Could have had something to do with the adoption process and family contact wasn't in their best interest.
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Old 09-28-2011, 12:03 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,678 posts, read 23,284,047 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by faeryedark View Post
Amen! I AM a step-parent and have been essentially harrssed because of the idea of the "evil" step mom.
I've had CPS called on me at least 5 times over my step-daughter because the school saw a mark, or the ER
Let's see, she had to get stitches once because an aquaintance's child pushed her and she went head first into the radiator...3 Adult witnesses, still had C&Y come around for 4 weeks before I got the letter that it was unfounded (duh!)
Then, she broke her arm at church jumping off some steps in Sunday School (another trip to the ER, another call to C&Y) another "unfounded"
She was at a cousin's and their dog jumped on her, and left great big scratch marks, they didn't bother to call me, just brought her home, and I took her to the Dr's. office (another 3 stitches, another call, another "unfounded")
Then there was a bike accident,where she came walking, pushing the bike with blood running down her arm from a brush burn (past several nieghbors) the school calls C&Y next day, and I get another visit (unfounded)
Then she tipped over her brother's toys and ended up giving herself a black-eye when she fell against a bin, the school called again, another visit from C&Y and another "unfounded"
Funny, nobody ever called when her brother broke his arm, or got bruised, or cut.
The poor kid (my step-daughter) was often afraid to go to school or the Dr's. because she knew they'd call. i'd tell her, "no it's not your fault, and you're not to blame, just go, and let me deal with it"
I think they finally got the idea when she screamed at them, that she was not a liar, and if she said it was an accident, then, by God it's an accident.
That's my girl!
I am sorry that C&Y seems to have persecuted you You are obviously a loving parent - step or other wise.
They seem to have traumatized your daughter, which is horrible. Fortunately, your girl seems to have a mind of her own and can speak up! I really hope that you have no further contact with them.
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Old 09-28-2011, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Chambersburg PA
1,739 posts, read 1,761,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
She could have pressed the issue had she wanted.

Could have had something to do with the adoption process and family contact wasn't in their best interest.
Believe me, she did press the issue, to no avail. And i would love to know their reasoning, why they wouldn't want to send the girls to live with their stable aunt who had plenty of love and ability to care for them, and plenty of room in he house. Those girls lost out on a whole extended family, because of their mother was selfish and C&Y didn't want to be bothered to put in some work
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Old 09-28-2011, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Chambersburg PA
1,739 posts, read 1,761,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
I am sorry that C&Y seems to have persecuted you You are obviously a loving parent - step or other wise.
They seem to have traumatized your daughter, which is horrible. Fortunately, your girl seems to have a mind of her own and can speak up! I really hope that you have no further contact with them.
We haven't had problems since elementary school. I think some of it (obviously not all) was due in part to the fact that I ticke off her Principal. they all went to a nieghborhood "1 deep" school.
My S-D was a bit chubby with baby fat for most of her elementary years. Well, around 3rd grade the Principal decided that my S-D along with a few other girls should do some extra exercising after school in a "club"
her reasoning, as she put it, was that they should lose weight so they wouldn't be made fun of in middle-school
I informed her:
1) Children should be taught that beauty is more than skin deep, and that they should accept people for who they are...not the other way round that My child has to confom to pre-set standards of "beauty"
2) The doctors were not worried about the baby-fat.
3) This kind of thing is a sure fire way to make a young pre-teen girl have body image issues.
In short, she would not be participating.
It seemed like after that, every time I turned around we had C&Y called in regards to her, and the Principal became "nitpicky" over minor things
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Old 09-28-2011, 05:11 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,920,956 times
Reputation: 17987
Quote:
Originally Posted by faeryedark View Post
Believe me, she did press the issue, to no avail. And i would love to know their reasoning, why they wouldn't want to send the girls to live with their stable aunt who had plenty of love and ability to care for them, and plenty of room in he house. Those girls lost out on a whole extended family, because of their mother was selfish and C&Y didn't want to be bothered to put in some work

I know it doesn't seem to make sense to opt for complete strangers over family.

There are going to be occassions when family for reasons that you may not be aware of are not whats in the kids best interest.

I'm glad to hear you stood up to the principle tho, she definately overstepped her boundaries. You sound like a great step-parent.
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Old 09-28-2011, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Out West
22,783 posts, read 16,859,428 times
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Sorry but you're wrong here virgode. In my case, my grandmother wanted to take me but the bio ***** said no. It wasn't the case workers or the judge, it was her. SHE was allowed to dictate where I went AFTER she "gave me up".

I just found my brothers after 30+ years. The pain that this hag has brought on the family is unreal. I have dealt with it over the years but it's unbelievable to talk to my brothers on the phone and have them break down and cry, SOB, (and they are in their 40s), because she wouldn't allow me to go to my grandmother's and we lost all those years.

My relatives, uncles and aunts, they also lost out. I am just now starting to reconnect with them.

No one said I couldn't go to another family member, only her.

My younger brother, who she also got a sick pleasure out of destroying went to the paternal grandmother. So yes, it WAS possible, but SHE said NO when it came to me, NO ONE ELSE.

And in the case of these two asshats, the state protected them. We had no rights, none of us. Not me, not my siblings, not my grandparents, not my aunts and uncles. The state protected THEM! F. That.
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