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Old 09-28-2011, 05:48 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,722,131 times
Reputation: 26118

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Bottom line, when you believe someone is being abused, child, or adult, call CPS. One thing about domestic violence is that if a parent is being abused, and the children are exposed you need to report it, maybe this will be the wake up call an abused person needs to recognize that domestic violence is child abuse too.

I reported parents who were hoarders, and the children came to school intermittently, when they did come, they were dirty, never had homework done. The kids were not physically abused, but the home was out of control. Once CPS did go, I had to document several instances of education neglect, and the dirt encrusted on the kids, it was, ironically, the chronic lice that finally got CPS involved, because the kids had an IEP, and it was obvious medical neglect that disabled children were chronically lice infested. And the kids were removed, they ended up back, and the house is still a mess, the parents are still marginal, but they are doing a bit better. At least the plumbing in the house works.
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Old 09-28-2011, 05:56 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,898,417 times
Reputation: 17987
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
Sorry but you're wrong here virgode. In my case, my grandmother wanted to take me but the bio ***** said no. It wasn't the case workers or the judge, it was her. SHE was allowed to dictate where I went AFTER she "gave me up".

I just found my brothers after 30+ years. The pain that this hag has brought on the family is unreal. I have dealt with it over the years but it's unbelievable to talk to my brothers on the phone and have them break down and cry, SOB, (and they are in their 40s), because she wouldn't allow me to go to my grandmother's and we lost all those years.

My relatives, uncles and aunts, they also lost out. I am just now starting to reconnect with them.

No one said I couldn't go to another family member, only her.

My younger brother, who she also got a sick pleasure out of destroying went to the paternal grandmother. So yes, it WAS possible, but SHE said NO when it came to me, NO ONE ELSE.

And in the case of these two asshats, the state protected them. We had no rights, none of us. Not me, not my siblings, not my grandparents, not my aunts and uncles. The state protected THEM! F. That.
Here are two of you with similar stories. I'm so sorry you were seperated from your siblings. Theres a lot of pain in your post, but happy you've been reunited.

I can't comprehend why a person whose children have been removed bc the parent had a drug addiction, would then be permitted to dictate to the state.

Biological parents must have more rights than I'm aware of.
Foster care kids are now appointed attorneys by the court here in DE.

Were you in foster care or adopted?
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Old 09-28-2011, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Out West
22,740 posts, read 16,830,942 times
Reputation: 26297
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Here are two of you with similar stories. I'm so sorry you were seperated from your siblings. Theres a lot of pain in your post, but happy you've been reunited.

I can't comprehend why a person whose children have been removed bc the parent had a drug addiction, would then be permitted to dictate to the state.

Biological parents must have more rights than I'm aware of.
Foster care kids are now appointed attorneys by the court here in DE.

Were you in foster care or adopted?
In the case of bio *****, she didn't have a drug addiction. She is a fricken sociopath and a liar. She has NO emotions. She simply doesn't give a crap about anyone. She took her sh**ty little life out on me and my younger brother. (Also have two older brothers and a little sister.)

The reason they were allowed to "dictate to the state" is because the state felt it was in the best interest to protect THEM! Bio sperm donor got one year in jail for what he did. Not prison, jail. Whoopdedoo. She got nothing. And she got to keep everyone else until she decided to turn on my younger brother who, basically, took my place after I was removed.

All of us went through foster care and we kept getting sent back because she LIED. She had stipulations for getting us back and would pretend to follow those stipulations. We got sent back and the beatings continued! The joy!

To say I'm not a big fan of CPS is an understatement. They attack people who are innocent; their kids really do just trip over a vacuum cord and the ones who are in serious need of help...well, let's just keep sending them back to that hell, hey?

It was because of a tip. That's what changed everything. A tip.

That's why I say, PLEASE, PLEASE BE AWARE of who is living in your neighborhood when there are kids present. Please watch. Please do NOT mind your own damn business, please be observant. If things aren't adding up, there's probably a reallllllllly good reason that they aren't.
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Old 09-28-2011, 08:26 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,722,131 times
Reputation: 26118
Sorry that happened to you. Glad you are an advocate now for people being more involved.
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Old 09-28-2011, 08:32 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,898,417 times
Reputation: 17987
National Child Abuse Statistics | Childhelp
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Old 09-28-2011, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Out West
22,740 posts, read 16,830,942 times
Reputation: 26297
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Sorry that happened to you. Glad you are an advocate now for people being more involved.
Take the link that virgode provided, look at the pie chart. I got 1, 2, 4, 5 and "other".

But you know what is really interesting? I am 0% on everything they say "could" happen.

Because I'm strong and I rock and no one can take that away from me.

Yes, these results CAN happen but they don't happen to all of us.

I just get so damn tired hearing people say that they know something is wrong but it's "not their business". It should be! What was that one recently of the girl in the box? The neighbors said that it had happened before?

WHY THE HELL DIDN'T ANYONE REPORT THAT!? And if someone did, WHY THE HELL DID CPS NOT REMOVE THAT CHILD?!

Ridiculous. That child DIED because adults sucked at being neighbors and/or CPS workers. There was no excuse for that girl to die. None. NONE!

She is just one reason I say that people must be aware of who their neighbors are when there are kids involved. No one likes a nosy, gossing hen but if you see or hear or feel something isn't adding up, do. something. Don't just close your blinds and the door and then read about it in the paper three months later, clucking your tongue, sighing and wondering what is wrong with people these days.

Do. Something.
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Old 09-28-2011, 11:27 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,677 posts, read 23,252,262 times
Reputation: 48863
The experiences of Three Wolves demonstrates how horribly misdirected our social welfare system is when it comes to it's goals.

Many times, reunification of a biologically related group of people (AKA "family") is just NOT in the "best interest of the child". It is in the interest of the "parents"
Abusive parents do have WAY too many rights. You beat or scald or starve your kid within an inch of his life? I am FINE with prompt termination.

A person with a hygienic deficit, or who just does not know how to keep a neat and sanitary home MAY respond to counseling and help. That is possible.

A sadist? - I don't think so. No I know that will never happen.

Farming kids out to people who need money where there is a profit motive? - (AKA Foster "Care") Does not seem to work well in at least 90% of the cases.

FOSTER CARE is advertised AS a JOB in my local paper! After one goes through all of the classified ads, there are two advertisements for "Foster Parents" I t is the job almost anyone can qualify for. The LAST listing for people who can do nothing else.

So much needs to be re-vamped. We need to start from scratch and to dismantle our notion that a family is forged by "Flesh and Blood" and not by love.
One of my children is adopted. I may adopt others. We are a real family.

Terminate rights immediately in cases of extreme and egregious abuse, and permit these children to be adopted - BEFORE they are shuttled from foster home to foster home - or are sent back to the home from which they were removed. And as in many instances, killed.
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Old 09-28-2011, 11:49 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,722,131 times
Reputation: 26118
Please stay on topic of calling CPS, this is not a forum to bash the foster care system or foster care parents.
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Old 09-29-2011, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Chambersburg PA
1,739 posts, read 1,760,416 times
Reputation: 1464
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
The experiences of Three Wolves demonstrates how horribly misdirected our social welfare system is when it comes to it's goals.

Many times, reunification of a biologically related group of people (AKA "family") is just NOT in the "best interest of the child". It is in the interest of the "parents"
Abusive parents do have WAY too many rights. You beat or scald or starve your kid within an inch of his life? I am FINE with prompt termination.

A person with a hygienic deficit, or who just does not know how to keep a neat and sanitary home MAY respond to counseling and help. That is possible.

A sadist? - I don't think so. No I know that will never happen.

Farming kids out to people who need money where there is a profit motive? - (AKA Foster "Care") Does not seem to work well in at least 90% of the cases.

FOSTER CARE is advertised AS a JOB in my local paper! After one goes through all of the classified ads, there are two advertisements for "Foster Parents" I t is the job almost anyone can qualify for. The LAST listing for people who can do nothing else.

So much needs to be re-vamped. We need to start from scratch and to dismantle our notion that a family is forged by "Flesh and Blood" and not by love.
One of my children is adopted. I may adopt others. We are a real family.

Terminate rights immediately in cases of extreme and egregious abuse, and permit these children to be adopted - BEFORE they are shuttled from foster home to foster home - or are sent back to the home from which they were removed. And as in many instances, killed.
Well, I am split on the "flesh and blood" issue. I've seen families who have had a "bad apple" lose their kids, but the extended family was fine (as I'd mentioned previously in the earlier situation)
I've seen cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. lose contact because children were torn out of the family, and adopted to strangers. I firmly believe that if there's nothing wrong (or seriously wrong) with the extended family, then at least some form of contact should be maintained, especially between juvenile members, even if it's thru supervised visits. Protecting the children, should include ALL of them
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Old 09-29-2011, 11:33 AM
 
7,112 posts, read 9,349,377 times
Reputation: 8162
Anything that leaves a mark or causes an injury is illegal in all 50 states.
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