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Old 10-26-2011, 08:41 PM
Location: Native Floridian, USA
4,907 posts, read 6,125,439 times
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[quote=markg91359;21445889]My heart aches for them too and I agree with most of what you say. I, too, would like to find a better way.

At the same time, when I consider how things work here in the USA, I'm not shocked by the results we get. This is the situation as things currently stand in the USA:

1. We make termination of parental rights of neglectful and abusive parents very difficult. It requires a whole lot of proof. In most cases, termination can't even be considered until natural parents are given several opportunities to fix what is wrong in their household. We do this because of U.S. Supreme Court decisions. There are parents serving long sentences in jail who truly should not be parents. Yet, their parental rights will not be terminated. Also, many of us "frown" on adoption and believe that families should be kept together even when they are downright dangerous and dysfunctional.

I think it varies from state to state. The young man in Jax, Fl, who is being tried for murder, his mothers parental rights were immediately severed. A young boy in Denver, Co, was tortured, starved and killed by his stepbrothers father. When convicted, his rights were immediately terminated regarding his biological child. On the other hand, I can name the mother of a murdered child in Ohio who got out of prison and regained custody of her other child. Same thing with a case here in Florida when a toddler was murdered. Now in both cases, these mothers were probably complicite and certainly knew of the abuse. I have the names of many victims as to where it can go either way.

2. Its difficult in many states to even temporarily remove children from a home. Along with this we have a shortage of foster homes in many states, primarily because we refuse to pay people enough to raise children and give them adequate resources in terms of counseling and medical care to deal with the issues the children under their care face.

Is the fact that we pay so little the reason the quality of foster parents is often so poor and the children suffer even more or worse abuse. Is there not enough oversight of foster parents ? There are some that are good but that is the exception to the rule, IMO>

3. We allocate a pittance of tax revenue to fund agencies like CPS while at the same time we spend billions and billions of dollars on Defense, Social Security, and Medicare. Our priorities are the elderly, not the young.

Easy there, fellow, I am a senior citizen, worked all my life and still working full time at almost 70. <s> I think both could be funded equally. I spend a lot of time trying to assist children in crisis.

4. We give parents extraordinary power. In many states, bad parents can keep their children away from the authorities by claiming that they are "home schooling" them. In some states, the law requires that parents do virtually nothing to prove that they are actually educating their kids. In other words, no state supervision at all. In many states, parents can refuse to take their kids in for a vaccination, or take other action which might call abuse or neglect to the attention of authorities.

You are right on the mark. I can cite many instances of child torture, abuse and death in which the child was removed from school, never to be heard from again. If someone complained and CPS went out, they were not obligated to show the child or provide proof of the homeschooling. They were working on a law in Colorado to that effect because of the case I mentioned earlier. I don't expect it to go anywhere.

5. We complain constantly about how high are taxes are and not only oppose increases, but I bet many people right on this forum are supporting Rick Perry, Ron Paul, or Herman Cain because they think those candidates will lower their taxes.

Not me. I pay my fair share and would be a real hardship to pay more but I am okay with what it is. I have been called a racist because I want more oversight into people flooding into this country illegally and using resources that should go to legal citizens.

6. We allow cities to lay off police officers and CPS workers when they face budget difficulties. We allow schools to lay off counselors and nurses when property tax collections drop. Instead, we ought to be delaying road construction and repairs, place a moratorium on building new government buildings, and cutting the salaries of top administrators who have little day-to-day contact with the public.

I agree with most of this but I truly have become cynical about the human race and believe most people are out for themselves anymore and the almighty dollar. Out of 100 police officers, you get maybe 10 that truly care and can't be corrupted. Out of 100 teachers, maybe 15 that care that much and I have seen some awesome teachers but they are rare and becoming rarer. Most are in for the benefits and lack of oversight that allows them much latitude in their other life.

We say that "we care about children" and we are either (1) ignorant; or (2) liars.That statement is so wrong and really too general. I am surprised at you.

I wish we really did care about children as a society. The facts tell me something very different.

I think this kind of says where I am coming from. The few that do really, really care can only do so much. The others pay lipservice.[/quote]
I know I may get a lot of flack in my comments about policemen and teachers. I have met a few that I respect so much. I wish I were like them. They walk the walk and talk the talk. Most of the others...meh. Could I do any better ? I would like to think so but, I didn't go that route in my life.I try to assist, teach, nurture and protect in any other way that I can.

There is one trend that I am seeing, though not enough but, it seems to me as more stories come out about some child being murdered horribly, people are starting to say, "thats enough". I pray so. Groups are beginning to lobby for better laws. Unfortunately, the funding probably won't come with them.

Sorry I am being long winded and maybe not too coherent....LOL> As always, markg, a very good post.

Last edited by AnnieA; 10-26-2011 at 08:44 PM.. Reason: why did my quote not work ?
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Old 10-26-2011, 08:54 PM
18,852 posts, read 31,751,871 times
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I have not been a CPS worker, I have been offerred the job, and was offerred a job to review files, and help re-organize an office that was a disaster. I declined. So, I suppose I could be labeled as part of the problem, because I could have actually had an impact on changing things, but chose not to.

Too many times I have seen judgemental CPS workers wreck havoc on a family because of power trip issues, and just plain meaness. Their job is to protect kids, but also to educate and rehabilitate families in crisis. Some times families hit a rough patch, and need help. But at the same time, workers need to be educated that the most gracious flatterers may be deviant Sociopaths.

So, I just decided it was not work I wanted to do. The whole thing is a disaster, and I am not willing to be a Sampson battling Goliath on a daily basis. Nor is CPS work I would want my kids to do. Bless those who do, most good ones burn out within five years.
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Old 12-04-2011, 04:27 PM
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Old 12-06-2011, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by kinkytoes View Post
I just saw the same article. I think part of it is the economy, and that a lot of people appear to think having children is a right. It is difficult to adopt, I believe (I haven't started the process yet) but anybody no matter how crazy, violent, immature, broke or stupid can have a child. Children are precious. Ugh the article made me feel I should be doing something to help.

BTW one of the things that struck me the most in Mexico City was the way people treated their children! Especially having worked with black American lower income children the summer before I went. Not all, but too many of the parents were what I consider too strict with their kids. Yes, I know they're not my kids. I hope I won't get flamed or "chastised..." because I am black, too and as a result most of my experience of this kind is with blacks.

I remember once walking down the street in Baltimore I saw a man hitting a little girl. She was maybe 3-5 years old and he was hitting her...in the HEAD. Nobody said anything, but being the BIG MOUTH psycho that I am, I confronted the scary guy and told him to STOP hitting the little girl or I would call the police. He started to yell at me and I believe one or two other people came to his defense. Nevertheless, battery is a crime, and IMO there is NEVER an excuse to hit a child IN THE FACE or head...why have children if you plan to treat them like enemies. I felt so bad I couldn't take the girl away with me...but what was I going to do I was a teenager!

When I worked for upward bound, I also had to deal with a counselor who BRAGGED about beating his foster child. I know the Bible says "spare the rod..." but I think some people take it too extremes. Children are smarter than animals, and who would hit a dog or cat to control it? Yet there are people who believe violence is an effective way to control small children. They should be sterilized IMO...but that's got issues of its own...

The people in Mexico City I saw on the buses were from a lower class, but they treated their kids with SO MUCH care and love.

So you can't really say it has anything to do with money. Americans are meaner. LOL Just kidding...maybe. I never saw even ONE parent raise his/her voice at a child or even smack the child. The kids were treated very lovingly by both parents (carried, hugged, petted). Maybe things were different at home, but my second host family also had a young daughter, and she was spoiled and mimada by her parents. They were from the middle-class.
There really should be a process to have children; a license and/or psychological testing. I know it infringes on the rights of prospective parents but it'd probably lower the incidence of outrageous crap like this.
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Old 12-06-2011, 02:44 PM
Location: Scotland
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Shame is the right word, that's unforgivable for the so called ''greatest country on earth''
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Old 12-06-2011, 04:12 PM
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,408 posts, read 16,495,090 times
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Originally Posted by Osito View Post
There really should be a process to have children; a license and/or psychological testing. I know it infringes on the rights of prospective parents but it'd probably lower the incidence of outrageous crap like this.
I totally agree with this. I know it sounds like Big Brother, but we need a license to marry or drive a car, don't we?

People too easily decide to have a child, usually for selfish reasons, and then punish their offspring when they act as a child will and the parent finds that he is in over his head.

I know that the wealthy can also be abusers, but there is a lot less pressure on them and they are educated and have access to therapists. They are a lot less of a problem than the poor. People should have to show that they are financially able, among other things, before starting a family.

The most predictable factor of a child growing up to be a criminal is a male child being reared by a single parent. People should be aware of this before making their decisions.
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