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Old 11-01-2011, 09:48 AM
7,376 posts, read 12,914,011 times
Reputation: 6968


I agree with Jasper. Its none of your biz

Old 11-01-2011, 09:50 AM
7,112 posts, read 9,380,437 times
Reputation: 8163
To answer the OP's question, better than any website is the victim's friends and family. These guys work by isolating their victims from anyone who might see who is going on, so I hope you're not the only one left. I would like to see more families and friends go over the the victim's place in a mob, surround the guy, calmly explain that he is not going to be allowed to do this any longer, pack up the victim plus any kids and leave, again, in a mob. Inform his sorry keester that any further threats or violence will be treated as what they are -- crimes -- and dealt with by the police, whether he (or she) likes it or not.

That REALLY works.
Old 11-01-2011, 09:56 AM
525 posts, read 770,011 times
Reputation: 415
I got a better idea- send someone to beat the crap out of him and tell him next time it will be worse.
Old 11-01-2011, 09:58 AM
525 posts, read 770,011 times
Reputation: 415
Originally Posted by skel1977 View Post
I agree with Jasper. Its none of your biz
None of her biz. bullcrap its everybody biz. if someone is beating a woman especially in front of her kids.
Old 11-01-2011, 12:20 PM
18,852 posts, read 31,813,649 times
Reputation: 26120
The woman, herself, has the responsibility to leave, and go to a shelter. No one else can help her. She needs to decide on her own to take that step. If she chooses not to, and continues to draw other people into her drama, it is ongoing. And does not provide a solution.

Tough love. Tell her to seek professional help. You can call CPS on the parents, children should not witness domestic violence, that is abusive to children. A CPS investigation would be appropriate here. Make a referral.
Old 11-01-2011, 04:10 PM
Location: Native Floridian, USA
4,907 posts, read 6,137,338 times
Reputation: 6119
I think.....I may agree with jasper12. The victim has to make the first step and I agree it may be the hardest thing for her to do that and for the friend to step back.....but the victim is the only one who can make up her mind to try and get out of the violence. Be there for her if she makes an honest effort to get away.....

On the other hand, where children are involved , I am such a woosy.......
Old 11-01-2011, 06:33 PM
Location: Ohio
13,900 posts, read 10,820,589 times
Reputation: 7242
Originally Posted by heetseeker View Post
None of her biz. bullcrap its everybody biz. if someone is beating a woman especially in front of her kids.
Ifthe women refuses to help herself, than I don'tthink its anyones business.

Theres nothing more frustrating than helping someone in a situation like thisonly to have them go back after awhile.
Old 11-01-2011, 06:36 PM
Location: southern california
55,782 posts, read 74,800,289 times
Reputation: 48347
there are 2 players in a abusive relationship not 1.
if there is a child involved and there is, call CPS.
Old 11-01-2011, 06:38 PM
29,988 posts, read 37,309,270 times
Reputation: 12767
Originally Posted by rainbow13 View Post
Hi, can anybody tell me if there is a site to name and shame somebody who beats my little female friend to a pulp. She has such a soft heart, and this bloke just controls her and beats her, cuts her, stabs her, you name it and she just accepts it, and thinks that she deserves it. She keeps going back for more punishment. I cant understand it. I mean, its not like she needs him, she stays by me. He doesnt give her a dam thing, just takes whatever she has. Ive told her to stay away from there, but when people try keep her away, it just makes her wanting to go there even more. He even makes her ask me for money, to give to him. She says to me its for her child to feed, but I know its for him. He thinks he has got me wrapped around his finger aswell. Beats her, just to show everybody, that if they talk to her, he will beat her even more.
What can I do about this situation. please help
Report the abuser/attacker to the police. Take photos of your friend to turn in as evidence. If nothing else at least the child can be removed before it too is "beat to a pulp" and killed.
Old 11-02-2011, 12:13 AM
9,917 posts, read 9,327,945 times
Reputation: 8058
Originally Posted by heetseeker View Post
None of her biz. bullcrap its everybody biz. if someone is beating a woman especially in front of her kids.
Some years ago I did volunteer work at an abuse shelter. They were allowed to stay six weeks with their children. Programs and counseling was available free. In addition we had an underground relocation program to other parts of the country. It was a network and our shelter helped with new relocation here. Providing lodging, finding work and help to get them independent.

I have seen broken legs, broken arms, mega black eyes and teeth knocked out, broken noses, hundreds of stitches due to knife cuts, cigarette burns all over a woman's back. Ninety five percent (95%) of the ladies would stay and be on the road to healing their wounds and would return to that husband/boyfriend.

Telling us he said "he would never hurt me again" or I have no where else to go or he has never let me work and I don't know that I can do that or ... I love him. The director of the facility never got discouraged and always counted if we got just one out of an abusive situation she considered it a victory.

I volunteered but never ever understood the mentality of the women that would return and I still don't. Some days I took my high school daughters with me to read and play with the little children but mainly I wanted my daughters to see physical abuse and to stress upon them don't ever let anyone do this to you.
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