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Old 12-21-2012, 03:21 PM
 
8,180 posts, read 11,293,299 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taulery View Post
sco adoptive father pleads guilty to child rape
http://news.yahoo.com/ohio-adoptive-father-pleads-guilty-child-rape-195228108.html

I say: This is not the best reason to adopt.

And the reason mothers are told to give up their babies for adoption is to give the baby "a better life". These children didn't get a better life, they got raped.

How about better screening for people wanting to adopt?
As I wrote above, I haven't read the article nor do I plan to. Did the adoptive father have a record that was either ignored or never discovered by the adoption agency? Or had he never been arrested for pedophilia prior to the adoption process?
I ask as I was wondering how you would screen for a crime not yet committed?
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Old 12-21-2012, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,236 posts, read 12,687,996 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taulery View Post
And to karen in nh --- I've been in adoption reform longer than you have been alive, dearie. Go read the books I posted and learn yurself an education.
Years ago I was seriously considering adoption myself. I looked into all kinds including domestic special needs (and I read dozens of books on the subject, thank you very much, and I knew I would have to go through an extremely intrusive home study, but I understood the reasons for it so that was OK). The domestic special needs kids broke my heart. They were up for adoption because of what their BIOLOGICAL FAMILIES had done to them. THIS is why most of us who DO know a lot about adoption, both from experience and from reading, get annoyed at your posts, which make it sound like all adopted kids have just horrible lives. We know, again from personal experience and from people we know and from reading, that that is not true.

I didn't end up adopting, but I know many families that have been created through adoption and they are doing beautifully. They have their ups and downs, like all families, but don't blame all the "downs" on adoption.

But happy holidays even to you, "dearie."
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Old 12-21-2012, 05:09 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,678 posts, read 23,279,104 times
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This is not an "adoption related" crime anymore than biological parents who molest or rape their children is a is a "biological family" crime.

It's a horrible crime committed by a sick individual. Period.
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Old 12-24-2012, 02:34 PM
 
Location: New York State, USA
142 posts, read 212,346 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
This is not an "adoption related" crime anymore than biological parents who molest or rape their children is a is a "biological family" crime.

It's a horrible crime committed by a sick individual. Period.
Agreed, Sheena. It must be horrible as a child to put your trust in a parent and this happens. I hope these children get help they need to recover.
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Old 12-24-2012, 02:50 PM
 
Location: New York State, USA
142 posts, read 212,346 times
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Why this is important to adoption: these children not only have to deal with the trauma of rape, but also the trauma of being relinquished. And the trauma of trusting an adoptive parent who harmed them in terrible ways. Compounded trauma.

The article does not say if he was found guilty of rape before adopting. Nor does the article say anything about an adoptive mother. I know some state allow single parents to adopt, but strict home studies are the norm. Nothing wrong in that. Parenting classes cann help any parent.
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Old 12-24-2012, 02:58 PM
 
Location: New York State, USA
142 posts, read 212,346 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_in_nh_2012 View Post
Years ago I was seriously considering adoption myself. I looked into all kinds including domestic special needs (and I read dozens of books on the subject, thank you very much, and I knew I would have to go through an extremely intrusive home study, but I understood the reasons for it so that was OK). The domestic special needs kids broke my heart. They were up for adoption because of what their BIOLOGICAL FAMILIES had done to them. THIS is why most of us who DO know a lot about adoption, both from experience and from reading, get annoyed at your posts, which make it sound like all adopted kids have just horrible lives. We know, again from personal experience and from people we know and from reading, that that is not true.

I didn't end up adopting, but I know many families that have been created through adoption and they are doing beautifully. They have their ups and downs, like all families, but don't blame all the "downs" on adoption.

But happy holidays even to you, "dearie."
Not all children are relinquished to adoption because of what their biological parents did to them. Many were stolen at birth duirng the Baby Scoop Era when pregant girls and women were strapped to delieveery tables and the babies were taken immedictely at birth and the mothers were blindfolded. Thses crimes of kidnapping newborns did not just happen in America. They happened all over the world and these stories are being told now. How about the Spannish nun who was arrested for selling babies? Arengenta's stolen bebies?

If all you know about adoption is what research you did to try to adopt, then you certainly don't know about how these mothers and their grown stolen sons and daughters feel.

Sorry to annoy you. I'm not responsible for how you feel about my posts. Only you are responsible for your feelings.
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Old 12-24-2012, 03:13 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,742,630 times
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This is not unlike Nubia Barahona's experience, killed by an adoptive Father. And there were red flags prior to the adoption, and after the adoption. Teachers reported neglect, and so the adoptive parents started "homeschooling" the children.

Which is why, maybe children who are palced in adoptive homes, should have a CPS review once a year.

Then again, a Father was reported to CPS for sleeping nude with his 14 year old daughter, CPS did not even bother to investigate! Even after it was reported she was pregnant. Finally, due to being called out on this issue, the girl was placed in foster care.

CPS is so broken, I have no clue how to fix it.
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Old 12-25-2012, 06:28 PM
 
7,112 posts, read 9,357,555 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
This is not unlike Nubia Barahona's experience, killed by an adoptive Father. And there were red flags prior to the adoption, and after the adoption. Teachers reported neglect, and so the adoptive parents started "homeschooling" the children.

Which is why, maybe children who are palced in adoptive homes, should have a CPS review once a year.

Then again, a Father was reported to CPS for sleeping nude with his 14 year old daughter, CPS did not even bother to investigate! Even after it was reported she was pregnant. Finally, due to being called out on this issue, the girl was placed in foster care.

CPS is so broken, I have no clue how to fix it.
Buck up, my friend. They usually do the right thing. Only the horror stories make the news.

Meanwhile, the real solution is to make CPS unnecessary. If we had stronger communities in which every adult saw every child's welfare as a personal responsibility, there would no longer need social workers to investigate and intervene in behaviors that would be treated as crimes if you did them to an adult. I know, it isn't going to happen this week.
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Old 12-25-2012, 10:33 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,742,630 times
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Valid point on CPS. I just am very cynical.

I wonder if this family was ever reported to CPS?
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Old 12-30-2012, 01:16 PM
 
7,112 posts, read 9,357,555 times
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If they had been and the report was substantiated, the kids would have been whisked away in a heartbeat. Of course if it was true but not substantiated, the kids would have been left to their fate and would have known never, never never to report again.
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