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Old 04-27-2013, 05:23 PM
 
1,143 posts, read 1,016,840 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mtn. States Resident View Post
Glad you called your son, CW. Another positive of this trial, if we'll let it be. Staying in closer contact with those who matter.

I've gone over security/safety issues with my mother the last few weeks. Living in 2013 isn't as safe as 10 or 20 years ago. I write that being sad I know those facts are true.

So maybe each of us here who have posted can select one person (besides ourselves, of course) to help ensure their home is safer, and they become more aware of dangers when out of their homes.

PTSD can be a daily struggle for those who truly have it, work with it, or live in the same household as someone who has it. Find strength and encouragement wherever you can and know that this day will pass. I hope someday there will be even better medications to help with some of the symptoms. I'm proud of all who overcome all they do with the symptoms they have.

I'm very proud of those who have gotten themselves out of abusive relationships who have posted here. I read a post somewhere different yesterday by a Victim of DV who described some of what her ex did to her. It was painful to read. She concluded that she was glad she finally took the kids and left, but then wrote, "HE is still alive."


MSR
There's probably something positive everyone can take from this trial.

I know most posters don't approve of Alyce at all, or care about our story, but during this trial my 20 year daughter got out of her abusive relationship and is now living with us.

I'm not saying this was the case with Jodi....I'm saying the was the case of abuse with my daughter...

I have the case on everyday on TV, while doing other things...

It was TEXTBOOK and my daughter came over and was RIVETED by Alyce's testimony and explanations of why women stay in the relationships, and what their bottom is that they are willing to put up with, how they keep lowing it.

The victim doesn't tell her family because they don't want the family to end the relationship, how the abuser separates them from their friends. they don't call the cops, or make police reports. How they think, "if only I try harder, I can save him", how they end up feeling trapped and hopeless.

It was like Alyce was talking directly to my daughter from the TV, it shocked her and woke her up to hear exactly how her life was, from someone else...... My daughter came over every day to watch the trial and listen to Alyce. It took just a couple weeks and then my daughter drew the line, asked for help, and held the line.

Alyce may very well have sold out on this trial, but she inadvertently helped someone.
She now goes to a counselor, goes to a support group and has a sponsor.

 
Old 04-27-2013, 05:46 PM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,698,893 times
Reputation: 26111
I am glad that your daughter was helped by this trial and got out of an abusive situation. That being said, I do not believe Jodi was abused by Travis. I think Travis was trying to get rid of her and she went crazy. She is classic Borderline Personality Disorder.

If anything, maybe this trial will be a heads up to men who use crazy chicks for sex. They have hot sex with the crazy chick, but she is not who they introduce to friends or bring home to Mama. Most just fade away. This one was crazier than the others. I believe Travis felt shame from his relationship with Jodi, and wanted it over.
 
Old 04-27-2013, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,628 posts, read 11,162,634 times
Reputation: 37671
Domestic abuse is hard for most of us, including me, to fully understand. Most people would be out the door in a heartbeat if someone we were in relationship ever laid a finger on us. We view people who stay in an abusive relationship as being a little nuts. But everyone does things for their own reasons and you could talk to someone until you are blue in the face and it may not do any good, if they are hellbent on staying with that person.

I may have mentioned earlier in this thread that at one time I worked with a very nice girl who was constantly coming into work with bruises and broken body parts. We sat her down numerous times and told her she needed to get out of that relationship but she always made excuses, like " I do things to make him mad sometimes too." It was almost like she gravitated toward losers and somehow felt she didn't deserve better.

But Jodi was no abused woman. Used for sex maybe, but not abused.

Don
 
Old 04-28-2013, 01:42 AM
 
8,440 posts, read 11,150,745 times
Reputation: 6212
Quote:
Originally Posted by trinity1111 View Post
There's probably something positive everyone can take from this trial.

I know most posters don't approve of Alyce at all, or care about our story, but during this trial my 20 year daughter got out of her abusive relationship and is now living with us.

I'm not saying this was the case with Jodi....I'm saying the was the case of abuse with my daughter...

I have the case on everyday on TV, while doing other things...

It was TEXTBOOK and my daughter came over and was RIVETED by Alyce's testimony and explanations of why women stay in the relationships, and what their bottom is that they are willing to put up with, how they keep lowing it.

The victim doesn't tell her family because they don't want the family to end the relationship, how the abuser separates them from their friends. they don't call the cops, or make police reports. How they think, "if only I try harder, I can save him", how they end up feeling trapped and hopeless.

It was like Alyce was talking directly to my daughter from the TV, it shocked her and woke her up to hear exactly how her life was, from someone else...... My daughter came over every day to watch the trial and listen to Alyce. It took just a couple weeks and then my daughter drew the line, asked for help, and held the line.

Alyce may very well have sold out on this trial, but she inadvertently helped someone.
She now goes to a counselor, goes to a support group and has a sponsor.
AWESOME, Trinity 11111 - I hope she'll get the counseling and other tools/skills she needs so she doesn't go to another person who is abusive.

That is GREAT NEWS!

I think ALV has her place, but it isn't on the stand of a case like this. However, maybe more women and men will reassess their situations as she described what DV is. Where I hope some don't get confused or turned away is thinking they would want to kill someone to be in an abusive relationship.

I sincerely wish your daughter the best, and ALL who have had the guts to walk away from a bad relationship during this trial. Please continue to get the rest of the help, or encourage your loved one to do so, to avoid finding future love interests aren't repeats of previous mistakes. Psychological counseling like this is some of the hardest work one will ever do in their life.

MSR
 
Old 04-28-2013, 02:13 AM
 
8,440 posts, read 11,150,745 times
Reputation: 6212
Don[/quote]

Both you and Jasper had great posts, Don.

I agree with you - maybe the door to talking about DV, be it our daughter, our niece, our neighbor, co-worker or other, is a discussion more will feel like they have a right to CARE about anyone being abused.

ARIAS was not an abused woman by TA.

I'm not a big Nancy Grace fan but came back after a conference and kind of collapsed on the bed with the tube on her channel half-asleep, on Thursday, I think. Her guest was the female Travis was ready to propose to years before he ever met ARIAS.

I didn't know that until NG's show, I guess that would have been Thursday as they do the crime things on weekends. The ring that ARIAS stole or "took," was never intended for HER. It was the engagement ring for the woman years before. He had held on to it for years as the female sensed he was getting ready to propose and felt TA wasn't the right one for her (after a lot of prayer and other "righteous" things.) It wasn't that there was anything bad about TA, she just felt she was suppose to marry someone else. She said she broke up with him as she didn't want him to ask her to marry him.

Along with clarifying that point, his almost finance (now married to another man) shared a poem he'd written for her as they were breaking up. I don't know if HLN has that one online by itself or not or if there is a way to find it. It's worth reading/hearing. It was totally about accepting the choices made by the other and loving the other enough to enough if her choice was not him he wanted her to be happy with the choices she made.

Elsewhere tonight I was reading online about the stupid shirt that said whatever about being property of TA. There were two strong thoughts, both of which were backed up with additional information. First, T.A. has a BlogSpot. it's bizarre and kind of creepy to read his last post and reading about wondering if dates were ax-murders etc. I'm surprised BlogSpot didn't remove or freeze his posts, but it didn't. So hundreds have posts when ARIAS was lying, lying, lying back in Jan. - Feb. etc. about her lies finally being the truth coming out (that was before she admitted she'd lied in court to the jury).

TA had T-shirts made up that said, "Property of Travis Alexander," and on the back was his BlogSpot address. Secondly, one person knew about the T shirts Travis had made to promote his BlogSpot, but felt ARIAS had most likely paid to have her own T shirt made for herself with the words she selected on it, as one of them was slightly different than what T.A. had officially made for his BlogSpot.

Sometimes it puts things more in context to learn what else wasn't shown or we've forgotten give how much evidence there is.

It's hard for me to know if one of these two "used" the other for sex more than the other. I agree with Jasper, now that we have Dr. DeMarte's testimony and testing of ARIAS' unstable patterns with other boyfriends and for years, I agree with the borderline personality disorder. Gosh, I remember ready about Jodi needing to borrow money and going to TA and asking what she could do to earn money and he'd try to have her clean his house and other, yet she always guided those discussions to the bedroom.

I'm not saying TA was the Saint he portrayed himself to his family and friends. I am saying ARIAS found his weakness and exploited it often for her own gain. The gain may not be visible in ways many can see. Perhaps it was simply not to be alone for a night or to have somewhere to live for 3 days or to feel like Travis only did those things to her (which she introduced him too); therefore, she had to be special. She got far more than sexual pleasure from their experiences. Somehow the interaction stabilized her for a period of time.

If you get the chance, check to see if you can find the letter from the woman he bought the ring for and was going to ask to marry him.

MSR
 
Old 04-28-2013, 03:00 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,628 posts, read 11,162,634 times
Reputation: 37671
It's pretty obvious that Travis was very conflicted about his relationship and the sex with Jodi. His religious and his professional lives would have suffered if some of the bedroom antics ever got out. That had to weigh on him, but we men are a little weak that way sometimes. If a naked girl comes in through our doggie door and offers us sex it is a pretty good bet the little devil sitting on our left shoulder is going to get his way. That old saying about the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is a little off geographically.

Don
 
Old 04-28-2013, 08:53 AM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,698,893 times
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Really, this whole drama would make an excellent movie. Travis, living his double life as religious church boy, and then having hot, monkey sex with Jodi. Show Jodi as a crazy stalker, like Glenn Close, in "Fatal Attraction".

The trial, the ending with Jodi on death row.

Who could make this stuff up....

They have already cast the Lifetime movie, "Dirty Little Secret"

Jodi Arias TV Movie on Lifetime Cast: Tania Raymonde and Jesse Lee Soffer - TVLine
 
Old 04-28-2013, 10:01 AM
 
8,440 posts, read 11,150,745 times
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Question A few questions

Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Really, this whole drama would make an excellent movie. Travis, living his double life as religious church boy, and then having hot, monkey sex with Jodi. Show Jodi as a crazy stalker, like Glenn Close, in "Fatal Attraction".

The trial, the ending with Jodi on death row.

Who could make this stuff up....

They have already cast the Lifetime movie, "Dirty Little Secret"

Jodi Arias TV Movie on Lifetime Cast: Tania Raymonde and Jesse Lee Soffer - TVLine
It makes me SICK that Lifetime already has that movie going forward. I understand some books could be on the shelves not long after the trial ends......UGH.

I'm not so sure that if we really knew the entire life of TA that he acted out sexually prior to ARIAS. At least I can't find proof of it. Sure, guys may attempt to do things but that doesn't mean they did them if the woman says no.

I'm rapidly changing my opinion about the "sex" part of this after looking at the graphic photos again except ARIAS finding how to hook TA with something as he could resist other things many may not have. We do know that TA and siblings were not treated appropriately by their parents and left with the grandparents. Do we know if there were charges of physical and/or sexual abuse of those children while their parents were in charge? Maybe Lifetime will do a very thorough research of what abuse (or not) the Alexander children experienced prior to life with their grandparents. I'm not real hopeful about that, though - for completeness and total accuracy.

Oh, one other question. I read elsewhere last night all the junk about TA told ARIAS x,y,z about sex and "anal sex wasn't as bad etc." Is that confirmed by ANY outside source or simply the words ARIAS spewed on the stand and to hired experts? Or is that simply another statement only ARIAS has made and we've heard it so much we accept it as fact?

As I've written here before, and others have written in other posts, if ARIAS converted to Mormonism, she knew where to take her questions about anything she wasn't clear, and it was NOT TA.

Ultimately, the bottom line is a ARIAS killed her victim in ways I don't think most even see in wars. Those autopsy photos, though I had seen them previously, reminded me how absolutely brutal TA's murder was.

MSR
 
Old 04-28-2013, 10:35 AM
 
1,817 posts, read 2,758,130 times
Reputation: 3527
Jodi had a couple other weapons to make sure she stayed in Travis's life besides sex. She owed him thousands of dollars for the car she bought from him and she was firmly entrenched in his social circle due to PPL. She could really make his life miserable and I believe she tried to blackmail him with those recorded calls and messages. I think he certainly knew her true colors by the last few months, but didn't know just how dangerous she really was...especially once she had moved back to California. A check made out to Travis was found in his bedroom - she may have asked to "drop by" to give him a car payment and of course, for sex.

The Lifetime movie will be total trash. I would not buy any book that is released right after the trial, either (some woman named Shanna Hogan is putting one out). If someone down the road writes a well-researched book that isn't overly sensational, I might consider it, though I wonder how much more there is to learn. I wish Juan Martinez would write a book, but he has indicated he is too focused on his career as a prosecutor.
 
Old 04-28-2013, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,628 posts, read 11,162,634 times
Reputation: 37671
Ok, we know they have picked someone to play Jodi and Travis for the movie, but who should play the part of Juan ??? If Danny DeVito was younger he might fit in, How about that guy who plays the boss in "The Office" ?

Don
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