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Old 01-26-2013, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,408 posts, read 16,490,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cometclear View Post
Unfortunately, something similar happened to her daughter, my cousin, some years before. They were vacationing on Mackinac Island. My cousin went out on a hike with a young man she had met. They were hiking on the cliffs around the island. They were walking over some narrow boards that rest on the cliffs when he remarked that he could shove her off and no one would ever know what happened. I asked her if he was kidding around and she said that he was not kidding. Needless to say that this was the last time she ever hung out with him. I guess it runs in the family.

I've known some spooky people, including one who basically met the entire serial killer checklist, but I've never had somebody threaten me in these ways. I guess this type of behavior is usually directed at women.
It is. Men sometimes do not understand why women used to list only their last names in the phone book, etc. I was home alone and two Comcast guys came over to do some work. They continually made suggestive comments, which I skirted around in the conversation. I knew the company had a recordof them being there, but was really fearful all the same. The next time I had to call Comcast I explained to the woman what had happened and asked if they employed ex-cons. She did not answer that directly but said she'd send someone reliable, which she did.

I was so afraid that those jerks could return later. I had told them I was married, though I lived there alone. This was the first time that I wished I had a gun around the house and knew how to use one but in New Jersey, where I lived, it was almost impossible for anyone to get one.
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Old 01-26-2013, 08:10 PM
 
Location: in my mind
4,758 posts, read 6,541,993 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil306 View Post

I'm all for hidden video cameras too. Put them up where the person doesn't know they are there. Record your entire interaction. If all is well, erase it. "
This reminded me of a horrible case I saw on TV a few years back. A couple hired an older "grandmother" type nanny through a nanny service- background checks, letters of recommendations, etc.

I forget what caused them to do so, but at some point, they decided to put hidden cameras in their home while the nanny watched their child - a 5 month old.

Needless to say, upon the very first day of recording, they were mortified to see this nanny being physically aggressive to their baby- shaking it, hitting it, throwing it on the couch, etc.

They showed the video on TV and it was truly sickening to watch.

The saddest part is that they couple admitted that the baby had been showing some behavioral changes- not eating as much, being nervous around people she didn't know, but these could be normal for an infant. I mean, why would they assume that a grandma-type would ever do such a thing? And also what was heartbreaking was that this baby had no way to tell her parents what was happening to him/her.

I can't imagine how much more damage would have been done to that child if they had not put in those cameras.
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Old 01-26-2013, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,058 posts, read 1,450,641 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenSparkles View Post
Most likely what happened is he came onto her and she rejected him and he flew into a rage and killed her.
If she rejected his sexual advances, he probably would have raped her too.
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Old 01-26-2013, 11:29 PM
 
Location: Durham
1,728 posts, read 2,199,188 times
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I fully understand your concerns. I am an electrician and often work in people's homes under various circumstances. Sometimes with whole family there, sometimes only husband or only wife. Occasionally, only teen children. I have called a parent sometimes, to verify if OK for me to work without them there.

I usually work alone but when I hire people I am careful to get people who are safe around homeowners and their families. A criminal record does not automatically disqualify someone but I have to know what his offenses were, how long ago and whether he has a "new attitude". If he has a history of child molesting or sex crimes of any kind, he will not work in your house. He may be OK for something around the shop or driving a truck. When I take anyone to customer's house 1st time, I watch how he interacts, if he is respectful, whether he eyes the daughter or wife, etc. I tell people not to wander off to rooms they are not working in and I do not either.

I do not talk around what I see in your home and tell others the same. If I happen to see a safe, gun cabinet, valuable paintings, etc., it stays quiet and goes no further. None of anyone's business what you have in your home.

Best I can recommend is that you get referrals from friends if possible. look first for service people who live in your community and want to keep a good name there. I also think a woman should learn self defense, just in case, and have a gun. Keep it on your person and do not hesitate to pull it if anyone gets aggressive toward you. Smaller pistols are easy to carry in a pants pocket or purse. If someone makes inappropriate remarks, ask him to leave. He should leave immediately. Call the co. and have someone else come for any tools or materials he had to leave. If you can, good to at least have a friend over, male or female. As a rule, anyone working for you should keep conversations to the business at hand and not pry into your business. He should keep his mind on his work and be respectful of your furniture, etc.

Post on the board or PM me if you have specific questions I can help with. Safety & security are everyone's business & in everyone's best interests.
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Old 01-27-2013, 04:44 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,671 posts, read 74,663,884 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenSparkles View Post
It looks like, from reading that article, that the man first had access to her home while selling a vacuum cleaner, but then he came back at a later time, and she let him into her home to use the telephone.

That was a near-fatal mistake on her part, in this case. She is lucky to have survived.
no came back later and hired them to clean her floors.
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Old 01-28-2013, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Southern California
5,487 posts, read 8,166,365 times
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I've only been living alone for several months now, but I've always thought about this in the back of my mind about the whole being alone when service people come...usually men. I hate the whole idea, but what can you do?

I think in this day & age, women should take some martial arts classes & get a black belt in karate, kung fun or something similar or at the verl least, a few self defnese classes. I'm serious! In my case, it would do me no good since I seriously injured my ankle 5 years ago, so I hate that I can't really run or do much physical activity.

Anyone have any other suggestions for the handicapped or elderly who can't move around so well?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenSparkles View Post
At a bare minimum, in this situation, you could do something like- ask them to meet you somewhere in public and make photocopies of their driver's license and also get their vehicle information- make/model/license #/state, etc.

Taking this step could be a deterrent to someone who had something to hide or had bad intentions.

You should probably also google their names and phone numbersand see what you dig up there, also check Facebook.

If you do have them come to your home, you should confirm that they drive the same vehicles that you initially were told were theirs, you should inform someone you know what time they are expected to arrive and leave, perhaps sending an email to your husband saying they have arrived, make sure he knows where the copies of the licenses are - basically create as much of a paper trail about them as you can so that IF something happened, there would not be any question as to who was involved and the time frame that it happened in. You could also tell them that your husband (or a friend) might be dropping by for lunch while they are there.
Yeah, this all sounds good & all, but who's going to actually have the chance to do all of this before someone comes over?
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Old 01-28-2013, 04:38 PM
 
5,015 posts, read 4,722,165 times
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It wouldn't be practical to only have workers when my husband is home. I do try to pick reputable companies that I get from personal referrals.

One of my neighbors met a guy at Home Depot and asked him to come by and give her a quote for yard work. When he came to her house, she felt like something was wrong, so she told him they weren't going to use him. He got mad, threatened to kill her, kill her children, etc. He started stalking our cul de sac in different cars. The police came out here several times, and even talked to him on the phone one of the times he called her. He threatened the the officer as well. So not only do you have to worry about hiring dangerous people, you also have to worry about your neighbors hiring dangerous people. My kids didn't get to play outside for a couple of weeks while all of that was happening.
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Old 01-28-2013, 05:03 PM
 
5,278 posts, read 3,499,849 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue View Post
[font=Century Gothic][color=darkslategray]I've only been living alone for several months now, but I've always thought about this in the back of my mind about the whole being alone when service people come...usually men. I hate the whole idea, but what can you do?
Do not waste your money on karate or kung fu classes. The only self-defense classes a woman should take are ones that teach you dirty fighting techniques that actually work - groin strikes, palm shots to the nose, biting and so on. Those are techniques that can get you away from an attacker, not learning crescent kicks.
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Old 01-28-2013, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,396 posts, read 59,890,532 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenSparkles View Post
At a bare minimum, in this situation, you could do something like- ask them to meet you somewhere in public and make photocopies of their driver's license and also get their vehicle information- make/model/license #/state, etc.
Who has time to do all that? Certainly not the plumber or electrician. Terribly impractical.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil306 View Post
The issue could be dealt with fairly easily. If Jane is having her plumbing done, what a great day to have a "girls day." Get a few friends together and have some personal time when the plumber is there.
Psst ... "the girls" are at work, which is where I'd be if the furnace or the plumbing wasn't on the fritz. It's not 1957 anymore.

Quote:
Make sure several friends know what company, etc is coming over and when. Don't leave these things too chance.
Finally, a practical suggestion ...
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Old 01-28-2013, 09:33 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,313,899 times
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When you answer the door, pretend to be on the phone and say, "the plumber from so and so company is here so let me call you back as soon as he leaves".

Then at least the plumber knows, or will think that someone else is aware that he is at your home, and accountable. That won't deter a serious psycho, but it would deter some.
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