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Old 01-29-2013, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Somewhere.
190 posts, read 325,299 times
Reputation: 290

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People have affairs everyday. It happens. Taking your children with you while you do so is a horrible act in and of itself. Normally, the spouse/partner is the one who suffers the anguish of knowing their spouse/partner has hurt them in this way. This is painful enough. Whether this couple were together or separated is beside the point in this case. This father now has to bury his two sons knowing his wife is the one who caused their deaths and he cannot even turn to the one person who should be there for him for comfort. I cannot imagine the anguish he will feel for a long time to come. IMHO, her anquish cannot last long enough.
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Old 01-29-2013, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Native Floridian, USA
4,907 posts, read 6,130,430 times
Reputation: 6118
Quote:
Originally Posted by DOUBLE H View Post
I live in western Colorado and I am very familiar with this story. This story is as bad as it gets, everybody I have talked to are just flat enraged about the death of these two children. A lot of things have happened in my state over the last several years that have just been making me ill.
So many child deaths. The most heartwrenching was little Chandler Graftner. Poor, sweet baby. I hope both of his murderers rot in their prison cells. I don't know which one I hate the most.......
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Old 01-29-2013, 10:37 AM
 
9,235 posts, read 9,305,514 times
Reputation: 28953
I want to comment on this thread. I think the idea of a parent having an affair and allowing their kids to die in a car while its occurring is particularly revolting.

However, most situations where children are left in cars are much more ordinary. Mom wanted to run into the grocery store on a hot summer day and thought the baby would be all right for five minutes. She forgot that the child was in the car and returned an hour later. That is what is more common. I empathize on some levels because I remember when my own children were young, the challenges involved in getting them out of the car and into a stroller or carrier whenever a trip to the store had to be made. Parents should always take their kids out of the car. Yet, it doesn't always happen and we all know it doesn't.

There is a crime of negligent homicide. Penalties for negligent homicide shouldn't be akin to those for premeditated murder. What's lacking is criminal intent. How harshly should something that is a mistake (albeit, a really bad one) be punished? I think there are a variety of factors to be considered:

1. How bad was the mistake? Was it a situation where the parent forgot about their child for one hour or for one day?

2. Was the parent under the influence of alcohol or drugs?

3. Has the parent made a similar mistake in the past?

4. Did the parent have any other criminal record?

Once again, I see some people here who seem to think that the solution to all the problems in the world is to lock someone for just about ever. The law in most states would not impose a penalty of more than a few years (at the most) because what we are talking about is punishing someone for an accident.

A parent in this situation is careless and I agree there needs to be a penalty. Unless they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs, I wouldn't use an adjective like "murderer" to describe them. I would use adjectives like stupid, idiotic, brainless, etc.

On another note, if I had ever done something like this as a parent, I don't think the legal system would have to worry about me. I think there are some situations in life, where perhaps a person should take their own life. In my own state, we had a situation once where a parent left his toddler in a pickup truck while he was out hunting. The kid got out of the truck and wandered off. He was found weeks later, dead of exposure to the cold. The father chose to kill himself. I think there are times when suicide may be appropriate.
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Old 01-29-2013, 11:11 AM
 
52,095 posts, read 41,911,642 times
Reputation: 32514
Well, at least Nancy Grace has something to rant about for a while.
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Old 01-29-2013, 11:39 AM
 
5,015 posts, read 4,728,151 times
Reputation: 4641
I agree, taking babies and toddlers into the store for quick errands, esp. a series of them, is tough. But you just do it. My first two children are a year apart. Even if all I needed was milk it involved- unbuckling 2 car seats, dragging in a baby carrier with one hand, while wrangling a toddler with the other. And then trying to get them both arranged in a buggy- because you can't hold a baby carrier, a toddler's hand, and a gallon of milk at the same time, then to the back of the store for milk, and redo the rest of the process for the way out. It's a pain no doubt, and would only take a minute or two without the babies, but parents still have to do the right thing. The crux is good parenting is doing the right thing, even when it isn't easy.

I have much more sympathy for parents who forget. There was a pastor who drove his baby to preschool one day. He didn't normall do that, and completely forgot she was in the car. When he remembered at 10 am, the baby was dead. Several people walked by the car, but assumed the parent was just running inside the church for a minute and din't do anything.

I have seen kids in a car twice, both times I stood beside the car until the parents came out. Both times the parents came out within 5 minutes, and I nicely reminded them that leaving children in the car is against the law. If it had been any longer, I would have called the police. I'm normally not confrontational but I think we all have a responsibility to stand up for defenseless children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markg91359 View Post
I want to comment on this thread. I think the idea of a parent having an affair and allowing their kids to die in a car while its occurring is particularly revolting.

However, most situations where children are left in cars are much more ordinary. Mom wanted to run into the grocery store on a hot summer day and thought the baby would be all right for five minutes. She forgot that the child was in the car and returned an hour later. That is what is more common. I empathize on some levels because I remember when my own children were young, the challenges involved in getting them out of the car and into a stroller or carrier whenever a trip to the store had to be made. Parents should always take their kids out of the car. Yet, it doesn't always happen and we all know it doesn't.

There is a crime of negligent homicide. Penalties for negligent homicide shouldn't be akin to those for premeditated murder. What's lacking is criminal intent. How harshly should something that is a mistake (albeit, a really bad one) be punished? I think there are a variety of factors to be considered:

1. How bad was the mistake? Was it a situation where the parent forgot about their child for one hour or for one day?

2. Was the parent under the influence of alcohol or drugs?

3. Has the parent made a similar mistake in the past?

4. Did the parent have any other criminal record?

Once again, I see some people here who seem to think that the solution to all the problems in the world is to lock someone for just about ever. The law in most states would not impose a penalty of more than a few years (at the most) because what we are talking about is punishing someone for an accident.

A parent in this situation is careless and I agree there needs to be a penalty. Unless they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs, I wouldn't use an adjective like "murderer" to describe them. I would use adjectives like stupid, idiotic, brainless, etc.

On another note, if I had ever done something like this as a parent, I don't think the legal system would have to worry about me. I think there are some situations in life, where perhaps a person should take their own life. In my own state, we had a situation once where a parent left his toddler in a pickup truck while he was out hunting. The kid got out of the truck and wandered off. He was found weeks later, dead of exposure to the cold. The father chose to kill himself. I think there are times when suicide may be appropriate.
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Old 01-29-2013, 01:14 PM
 
3,965 posts, read 4,619,776 times
Reputation: 3657
Quote:
Originally Posted by CFoulke View Post
Once again, having children does NOT make one a Mom.....I am speechless. I sure hope what she lost was worth what she got for it but I doubt that it is.
It probably was because if it wasn't then she would have taken better measures huh?
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Old 01-29-2013, 02:39 PM
 
Location: La Mesa Aka The Table
7,504 posts, read 8,060,132 times
Reputation: 8549
She was not cheating on her husband
He died a couple month earlier
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Old 01-29-2013, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Birmingham, AL
87 posts, read 134,504 times
Reputation: 87
Heck...they could've gotten a room if it was that necessary (of course it WASN'T but IJS), heck, get a double room, make sure the little ones can't get to electric sockets, heavy objects, or the bathtub, and just be really, really quiet....
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Old 01-30-2013, 02:59 PM
 
7,112 posts, read 9,367,961 times
Reputation: 8162
Quote:
Originally Posted by hitman619 View Post
She was not cheating on her husband
He died a couple month earlier
Wow, so she probably wasn't doing her best thinking anyway right then. Unless they had split up bitterly ages before.
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Old 01-30-2013, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
1,476 posts, read 1,512,147 times
Reputation: 1588
Just horrible, I hope she goes to prison for a long time. That's something that's unforgivable right there. I mean first you cheat on me, then you take my baby away because you needed some other dude to pipe you down? Just WOW!! I empathize tremendously for the father.
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