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Old 04-12-2013, 08:54 AM
 
Location: NC
645 posts, read 863,321 times
Reputation: 1539

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Nice job, Carolina Woman. It is truly unfortunate that parents need to go to these lengths to address situations that should be adequately handled by school officials. I am sickened by these stories.

We need to question why it is okay or acceptable for a school principal to say "Sorry, nothing I can do." Well, sorry, but this is pathetic and asinine. If the head of the school is incapable of addressing matters that impact a student's safety and well being, then WTF are they good for?

Here is a fairly straight forward solution...start making laws that hold people accountable. If a school principal fails to address a bullying issue, well, make them liable. Send them to jail. Subject them to civil penalties and fines. If a parent does not take action to address their child's bullying, make them liable for the same. How many pincipals and parents would say, "Sorry, nothing I can do" if they are subject to jail time and civil penalties and fines? Make laws to encourage appropriate behavior rather than encourage finding ways to avoid liability.

And if bullying/cyberbullying leads to a child taking their own life, well, then make it a murder charge. Simple.
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:20 AM
 
9,913 posts, read 9,308,889 times
Reputation: 8053
Quote:
Originally Posted by puginabug View Post
Yeah, I guess that's true, there are all kinds of ways to find out who people are.

I don't think I'd have the guts to do what you did, but then if it were my child in danger there's no telling.

Such an awful state of affairs when kids can't just go to school to get an education.

Good for you for putting a stop to it.

After visits and telephone calls to the school to discuss the situation ... my daughter hugging and kissing me and telling me xxx might kill her today. Then the final phone call from the school ... it hit me full force and I reacted ... my daughter was literally scared to death and humiliated.

She was honor roll and her grades had been dropping. She would come home from school, go straight to her room and shut the door. It was like a thunderbolt ... BOOM ... I had been trying to handle this situation through the proper channels and I had humored my daughter ... everything is going to be ok ... but to her 13 year old mind everything wasn't going to be ok. She was the one facing this girl every day. So I drove the 30 miles into downtown Charlotte. That was all I could think of the fear and humiliation my daughter was going through while her mom, dad and the school just tip toed through the tulips.

My daughter's grades turned around, her happy attitude returned, I received a hit and miss hug every morning which was normal as she rushed out ... no more hugging, kissing and hanging on to me. Her bounce was back.
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:35 AM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,737,753 times
Reputation: 26119
Audrie Pott case: Three boys, 16, charged with sexually assaulting 15-year-old girl who hung herself after they posted pictures of the abuse online | Mail Online

This young girl did the same thing. We really need to do something as a society to empower people who are bullied.

I was a victim of bullying at work, as an adult, and realize how vicious and cruel this can be. It is ongoing torment, and there is no way out, that you see when being subjected to this relentless abuse. It is demeaning, and sucks your entire soul. And when you try to protect yourself, the bully projects onto you, "Oh, she just can't take a "joke",". Or "Well, I was just saying those things, not my fault she is so sensitive.".

Bullys in school grow up to be bullys in the work place.
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Old 04-12-2013, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, LA
3,368 posts, read 2,706,931 times
Reputation: 7589
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolinaWoman View Post
After visits and telephone calls to the school to discuss the situation ... my daughter hugging and kissing me and telling me xxx might kill her today. Then the final phone call from the school ... it hit me full force and I reacted ... my daughter was literally scared to death and humiliated.

She was honor roll and her grades had been dropping. She would come home from school, go straight to her room and shut the door. It was like a thunderbolt ... BOOM ... I had been trying to handle this situation through the proper channels and I had humored my daughter ... everything is going to be ok ... but to her 13 year old mind everything wasn't going to be ok. She was the one facing this girl every day. So I drove the 30 miles into downtown Charlotte. That was all I could think of the fear and humiliation my daughter was going through while her mom, dad and the school just tip toed through the tulips.

My daughter's grades turned around, her happy attitude returned, I received a hit and miss hug every morning which was normal as she rushed out ... no more hugging, kissing and hanging on to me. Her bounce was back.
Awesome, wonderful!
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Old 04-12-2013, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, LA
3,368 posts, read 2,706,931 times
Reputation: 7589
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Audrie Pott case: Three boys, 16, charged with sexually assaulting 15-year-old girl who hung herself after they posted pictures of the abuse online | Mail Online

This young girl did the same thing. We really need to do something as a society to empower people who are bullied.

I was a victim of bullying at work, as an adult, and realize how vicious and cruel this can be. It is ongoing torment, and there is no way out, that you see when being subjected to this relentless abuse. It is demeaning, and sucks your entire soul. And when you try to protect yourself, the bully projects onto you, "Oh, she just can't take a "joke",". Or "Well, I was just saying those things, not my fault she is so sensitive.".

Bullys in school grow up to be bullys in the work place.
How has this become so commonplace, and what on earth CAN we do to stop it?
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Old 04-18-2013, 03:20 PM
 
7,112 posts, read 9,354,537 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puginabug View Post
How has this become so commonplace, and what on earth CAN we do to stop it?
Do it the old-school way. the parents get together and agree to stop tolerating it. they inform the kids about how to tell if they are being harassed and who to tell. there will already be a plan in place and it will be followed through on as soon as someone reports. the plan will NOT include telling the victim to get a thicker skin, or to kiss and make up with the harasser. the kid will be sorry he or she ever did it.
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Old 04-20-2013, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,820 posts, read 6,367,645 times
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Very true Cliffie! Unless the adults stand up together against this and do something, it'll escate more and more.
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Old 04-21-2013, 06:22 PM
 
16,019 posts, read 19,703,264 times
Reputation: 26200
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolinaWoman View Post
This has got to stop. This young teen in Georgia couldn't take it anymore and hung himself. This is so sad to see a young person get so down and defeated and kill himself. It's just not right.

Georgia middle-schooler commits suicide after bullying, being called 'snitch,' dad says - U.S. News

My daughter was bullied by a girl in her class in middle school too. I visited the school and talked to the principal and guidance counselor. They assured me they would take care of the situation as long as she was on school ground. Each morning my daughter would get up, shower, get dressed, hug and kiss me and tell me she may never see me again if XXX killed her today. I would ask what has she done and daughter would discuss it ... just stuff Mom ... it's ok.

I got a call at work from the principal and the guidance counselor was on the line too. They said there was a big problem. XXX arrived at school and told my daughter she was going to break both of her legs today. The principal and counselor said they had the girl in their office all morning and she just laughed and said they couldn't do one thing about it. She would get my daughter off of the school grounds.

I asked where the mother worked, the dad had passed away. They wouldn't tell me due to privacy laws. So I called my niece that works at the school district and had her look up the info. I left work, drove 30 miles to the mother's work. She wasn't in her office, so I told them I would wait. When the mother walked in I introduced myself and the woman knew who I was and I had never met her in my life.

I didn't take a seat ... and just explained SHE WOULD LEAVE WORK NOW and go to the school pick her daughter up and set this kid straight. I told her I was going to the police department and have a patrol car outside the school in addition I would be there along with my husband. I jumped all over this woman and people in the office heard every word I said. The woman whined and said she couldn't handle her daughter and I informed her SHE WOULD HANDLE her daughter TODAY if I had to drag her out of that office and take her to the school myself. Her boss walked to the cubie and asked was there a problem. I said yes there is, this lady is taking the rest of the day off or her daughter is going to end up in jail.

I followed the mother to the school and we both went into the principal's office. They called the daughter down to the office ... the brat had the nerve to say "I was only teasing" ... but the principal said no you were not teasing and you have made another student's life hell. The mother left with the daughter and the next day XXX came in and apologized to my daughter and said 'can't you take a joke?' Yeah like tripping her with her food tray in the lunch room, pushing her in her locker and locking it, making fun of her braces, tripping her in a relay race in PE, throwing water on her in the bathroom, slapping her in the face. I wasn't aware of everything until the leg breaking came up. It did stop.
Good for You Mom!!!
My own Son was bullied because he has ADHD and had problems in school. The head of Special Ed had an all school assembly and spoke to his peers, specifically about the things that were constantly being said to my son.

I wish that I could say that it entirely stopped...it didnt entirely. It finally did when my son got one of the worst culprits after school and beat him up. Then it stopped.
I didn't know this about my son beating up his bully until he was an adult. I would never condone doing that.

I am so sorry that kids are being hurt to this degree, it makes my heart hurt. I know there is much more knowledge about this horrible situation now among the general population...But obviously if even one child feels so heart broken and distressed...... what we are doing to address this horrible situation is not enough!!

I am pretty radical in defending kids...When my kids...four of whom are boys, were younger I was known to stop my car and intervene if I saw any kid getting picked on walking home.

We adults, no matter who we are need to jump in and help. I honestly believe that.

God bless this poor little boy and I pray for his parents and loved ones...I also pray that the kids who have tortured him will have a conviction on their hearts and change their behaviors before it is too late for them. Heartbreaking!

Last edited by JanND; 04-21-2013 at 06:28 PM.. Reason: edit spacing
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:29 PM
 
3,504 posts, read 7,949,420 times
Reputation: 3466
Wow - you did the right thing.

And that bully will always be rotten - by the time you are a teenager your personality is formed - she is a rotten person and always will be - dont feel sorry for her - evil is evil.
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:15 AM
 
9,913 posts, read 9,308,889 times
Reputation: 8053
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
Good for You Mom!!!
My own Son was bullied because he has ADHD and had problems in school. The head of Special Ed had an all school assembly and spoke to his peers, specifically about the things that were constantly being said to my son.

I wish that I could say that it entirely stopped...it didnt entirely. It finally did when my son got one of the worst culprits after school and beat him up. Then it stopped.
I didn't know this about my son beating up his bully until he was an adult. I would never condone doing that.


I am so sorry that kids are being hurt to this degree, it makes my heart hurt. I know there is much more knowledge about this horrible situation now among the general population...But obviously if even one child feels so heart broken and distressed...... what we are doing to address this horrible situation is not enough!!

I am pretty radical in defending kids...When my kids...four of whom are boys, were younger I was known to stop my car and intervene if I saw any kid getting picked on walking home.

We adults, no matter who we are need to jump in and help. I honestly believe that.

God bless this poor little boy and I pray for his parents and loved ones...I also pray that the kids who have tortured him will have a conviction on their hearts and change their behaviors before it is too late for them. Heartbreaking!
Good for your son, standing up for himself with a bully. I always think about the movie the Christmas Story when Ralphie finally beat the bully up. None of my kids were ever fighters but if that is what it takes for the kid to settle the problem and we as parents can't be there all the time so be it.

My youngest daughter was the one with the bully. My oldest daughter had a weight problem, she was a chubby child. When she was 6 years old we were in the grocery store she was walking beside me with youngest daughter tagging along. I went down an aisle and notice an older child pointing at my daughter, laughing and whispering something to her mother. The mother looked at my daughter and started laughing too as her daughter was pointing at my kid.

I told my two to pick out their cereal, which to them was a big deal and time consuming as they have to see what prize is in each cereal no matter how terrible the cereal may be ... it's the prize inside. As they looked over the cereal I took my grocery cart and headed straight for the woman and her child. I rammed my cart into the front of hers and asked her did she or her daughter have a problem with my child? I asked if they laughed at blind people or cripple people too. Then went into a rant about what kind of example was she setting for her child encouraging such behavior. I handled this quietly, no shouting, but in a very serious voice.

The woman never said one word just turned an awful shade of red, left her grocery cart sitting there and she along with her kid left the store. I returned to my cereal girls that happened to be arguing over Froot Loops and Lucky Charms. They do not know to this day what their mother did. I was so mad but felt so good that I confronted the mother.

My children are grown now and so often we are seeing the bullying leading to a young person committing suicide, Parents have to take action and stay on top of situations when their children are growing up.
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