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Old 04-06-2013, 02:02 AM
 
9,917 posts, read 9,329,221 times
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This has got to stop. This young teen in Georgia couldn't take it anymore and hung himself. This is so sad to see a young person get so down and defeated and kill himself. It's just not right.

Georgia middle-schooler commits suicide after bullying, being called 'snitch,' dad says - U.S. News

My daughter was bullied by a girl in her class in middle school too. I visited the school and talked to the principal and guidance counselor. They assured me they would take care of the situation as long as she was on school ground. Each morning my daughter would get up, shower, get dressed, hug and kiss me and tell me she may never see me again if XXX killed her today. I would ask what has she done and daughter would discuss it ... just stuff Mom ... it's ok.

I got a call at work from the principal and the guidance counselor was on the line too. They said there was a big problem. XXX arrived at school and told my daughter she was going to break both of her legs today. The principal and counselor said they had the girl in their office all morning and she just laughed and said they couldn't do one thing about it. She would get my daughter off of the school grounds.

I asked where the mother worked, the dad had passed away. They wouldn't tell me due to privacy laws. So I called my niece that works at the school district and had her look up the info. I left work, drove 30 miles to the mother's work. She wasn't in her office, so I told them I would wait. When the mother walked in I introduced myself and the woman knew who I was and I had never met her in my life.

I didn't take a seat ... and just explained SHE WOULD LEAVE WORK NOW and go to the school pick her daughter up and set this kid straight. I told her I was going to the police department and have a patrol car outside the school in addition I would be there along with my husband. I jumped all over this woman and people in the office heard every word I said. The woman whined and said she couldn't handle her daughter and I informed her SHE WOULD HANDLE her daughter TODAY if I had to drag her out of that office and take her to the school myself. Her boss walked to the cubie and asked was there a problem. I said yes there is, this lady is taking the rest of the day off or her daughter is going to end up in jail.

I followed the mother to the school and we both went into the principal's office. They called the daughter down to the office ... the brat had the nerve to say "I was only teasing" ... but the principal said no you were not teasing and you have made another student's life hell. The mother left with the daughter and the next day XXX came in and apologized to my daughter and said 'can't you take a joke?' Yeah like tripping her with her food tray in the lunch room, pushing her in her locker and locking it, making fun of her braces, tripping her in a relay race in PE, throwing water on her in the bathroom, slapping her in the face. I wasn't aware of everything until the leg breaking came up. It did stop.
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Old 04-06-2013, 11:43 AM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,962,255 times
Reputation: 10931
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolinaWoman View Post
This has got to stop. This young teen in Georgia couldn't take it anymore and hung himself. This is so sad to see a young person get so down and defeated and kill himself. It's just not right.

Georgia middle-schooler commits suicide after bullying, being called 'snitch,' dad says - U.S. News

My daughter was bullied by a girl in her class in middle school too. I visited the school and talked to the principal and guidance counselor. They assured me they would take care of the situation as long as she was on school ground. Each morning my daughter would get up, shower, get dressed, hug and kiss me and tell me she may never see me again if XXX killed her today. I would ask what has she done and daughter would discuss it ... just stuff Mom ... it's ok.

I got a call at work from the principal and the guidance counselor was on the line too. They said there was a big problem. XXX arrived at school and told my daughter she was going to break both of her legs today. The principal and counselor said they had the girl in their office all morning and she just laughed and said they couldn't do one thing about it. She would get my daughter off of the school grounds.

I asked where the mother worked, the dad had passed away. They wouldn't tell me due to privacy laws. So I called my niece that works at the school district and had her look up the info. I left work, drove 30 miles to the mother's work. She wasn't in her office, so I told them I would wait. When the mother walked in I introduced myself and the woman knew who I was and I had never met her in my life.

I didn't take a seat ... and just explained SHE WOULD LEAVE WORK NOW and go to the school pick her daughter up and set this kid straight. I told her I was going to the police department and have a patrol car outside the school in addition I would be there along with my husband. I jumped all over this woman and people in the office heard every word I said. The woman whined and said she couldn't handle her daughter and I informed her SHE WOULD HANDLE her daughter TODAY if I had to drag her out of that office and take her to the school myself. Her boss walked to the cubie and asked was there a problem. I said yes there is, this lady is taking the rest of the day off or her daughter is going to end up in jail.

I followed the mother to the school and we both went into the principal's office. They called the daughter down to the office ... the brat had the nerve to say "I was only teasing" ... but the principal said no you were not teasing and you have made another student's life hell. The mother left with the daughter and the next day XXX came in and apologized to my daughter and said 'can't you take a joke?' Yeah like tripping her with her food tray in the lunch room, pushing her in her locker and locking it, making fun of her braces, tripping her in a relay race in PE, throwing water on her in the bathroom, slapping her in the face. I wasn't aware of everything until the leg breaking came up. It did stop.
Hard for me to snip any of your post for brevity, but I just wanted to say BRAVO for going to the source of the problem and threatening to involve the police. THIS is what parents need to do. No more expecting the school to fix it.

to you!
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Old 04-06-2013, 03:11 PM
 
9,917 posts, read 9,329,221 times
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There has always been kids and even adults that bully or attempt to bully others. School kids just can't handle it and that just encourages the bully.

We have read about so many teens in recent years just giving up and committing suicide thinking that is the only way out. It has to be a nightmare for a parent to lose a child this way.

It seems many school officials don't want to 'rock the boat' and I was just fortunate the counselor and principal was calling me, even though they wouldn't or couldn't do anything to stop it.
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Old 04-07-2013, 03:08 AM
 
2,648 posts, read 4,089,008 times
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Good on you CarolinaWoman for the way you handled this and protected your daughter. I hope the mother of the other girl doesn't make light of what her daughter did and does try to change her child's behaviour. By your actions you have saved your daughter from this terrible situation but also drawn the attention of the mother to her child's behaviour. Hopefully you have also saved other children from being subjected to being bullied by her.

These cases are very sad. I remember the Phoebe Prince situation which had the same result. It is hell for these kids to go through but I wish they wouldn't take such a fatal action. There needs to be more thought put in to how to manage these type of situations by schools. Children from a young age need to be educated on how this is unacceptable behaviour possibly by books, films etc. Parents need to speak to their children about how they shouldn't bully and also strategies if they become the object of a bully.
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Old 04-07-2013, 02:17 PM
 
7,112 posts, read 9,382,090 times
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Do you know exactly what the other mom said or did to straighten out her kid? I would be very interested to know.

The school could and should have done something long before. tbhey are responsible for keeping their students safe from each other. Sit her down with the school liaison officer from the local PD (if they have one) and explain that making threats of bodily harm is a crime and several of the things she already did to your daughter count as assault. None of this "second chance" kaka -- "if (insert your daughter's name here) doesn't press charges, we are." And: "No, (insert your daughter's name here) didn't complian about you. WE are complaining about you."
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Old 04-07-2013, 04:49 PM
 
9,917 posts, read 9,329,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliffie View Post
Do you know exactly what the other mom said or did to straighten out her kid? I would be very interested to know.

The school could and should have done something long before. tbhey are responsible for keeping their students safe from each other. Sit her down with the school liaison officer from the local PD (if they have one) and explain that making threats of bodily harm is a crime and several of the things she already did to your daughter count as assault. None of this "second chance" kaka -- "if (insert your daughter's name here) doesn't press charges, we are." And: "No, (insert your daughter's name here) didn't complian about you. WE are complaining about you."
I have no idea what the mother said or did to her daughter but the problems did stop. The mother did say the daughter was still grieving over the death of her dad. I offered my sympathy in the death of her husband and the daughter's father. Grieving or not her daughter was going to stop bullying my daughter.

I think what really stopped the entire event was me showing up in at the mother's work and demanding that she leave work and go to the school with me ... when I looked back on it I could have been thrown out of that office building or they could have called the cops on me.

I called my sister and she contacted her husband at work to stop by the school. He is a cop and was there when the mother and I both arrived. He didn't get involved just there for moral support. But mother and daughter both were aware of his presence. The girl eventually started cutting school and ended up in juvenile hall.

It's just not right for kids to be allowed to bully others.
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Old 04-07-2013, 05:55 PM
 
8,440 posts, read 11,193,835 times
Reputation: 6212
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolinaWoman View Post
This has got to stop. This young teen in Georgia couldn't take it anymore and hung himself. This is so sad to see a young person get so down and defeated and kill himself. It's just not right.

Georgia middle-schooler commits suicide after bullying, being called 'snitch,' dad says - U.S. News

My daughter was bullied by a girl in her class in middle school too. I visited the school and talked to the principal and guidance counselor. They assured me they would take care of the situation as long as she was on school ground. Each morning my daughter would get up, shower, get dressed, hug and kiss me and tell me she may never see me again if XXX killed her today. I would ask what has she done and daughter would discuss it ... just stuff Mom ... it's ok.

I got a call at work from the principal and the guidance counselor was on the line too. They said there was a big problem. XXX arrived at school and told my daughter she was going to break both of her legs today. The principal and counselor said they had the girl in their office all morning and she just laughed and said they couldn't do one thing about it. She would get my daughter off of the school grounds.

I asked where the mother worked, the dad had passed away. They wouldn't tell me due to privacy laws. So I called my niece that works at the school district and had her look up the info. I left work, drove 30 miles to the mother's work. She wasn't in her office, so I told them I would wait. When the mother walked in I introduced myself and the woman knew who I was and I had never met her in my life.

I didn't take a seat ... and just explained SHE WOULD LEAVE WORK NOW and go to the school pick her daughter up and set this kid straight. I told her I was going to the police department and have a patrol car outside the school in addition I would be there along with my husband. I jumped all over this woman and people in the office heard every word I said. The woman whined and said she couldn't handle her daughter and I informed her SHE WOULD HANDLE her daughter TODAY if I had to drag her out of that office and take her to the school myself. Her boss walked to the cubie and asked was there a problem. I said yes there is, this lady is taking the rest of the day off or her daughter is going to end up in jail.

I followed the mother to the school and we both went into the principal's office. They called the daughter down to the office ... the brat had the nerve to say "I was only teasing" ... but the principal said no you were not teasing and you have made another student's life hell. The mother left with the daughter and the next day XXX came in and apologized to my daughter and said 'can't you take a joke?' Yeah like tripping her with her food tray in the lunch room, pushing her in her locker and locking it, making fun of her braces, tripping her in a relay race in PE, throwing water on her in the bathroom, slapping her in the face. I wasn't aware of everything until the leg breaking came up. It did stop.
Good for you Carolina Woman! Way to be assertive.

I agree this bullying has GOT to stop.

What I really wonder is how many past teen suicides were due to bullying and we didn't know how to identify it at the time.

I hope your daughter is doing better.

MSR
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Old 04-11-2013, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, LA
3,373 posts, read 2,721,260 times
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Can I just ask, without prejudice to you Carolina Woman -- I believe you did a great thing! Kudos to you, truly!

But can I ask, if you don't have the access to people who work within the system, How do you go about combating this? You, Carolina Woman, knew people working in the system and were able to get inside info as to where the mother worked.

But how does the average parent whose kid gets bullied combat it? If your kid is getting pushed around and threatened, and the principal of the school says "sorry, nothing I can do", what do you do?
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:29 PM
 
9,917 posts, read 9,329,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puginabug View Post
Can I just ask, without prejudice to you Carolina Woman -- I believe you did a great thing! Kudos to you, truly!

But can I ask, if you don't have the access to people who work within the system, How do you go about combating this? You, Carolina Woman, knew people working in the system and were able to get inside info as to where the mother worked.

But how does the average parent whose kid gets bullied combat it? If your kid is getting pushed around and threatened, and the principal of the school says "sorry, nothing I can do", what do you do?
I don't really know how. I looked in the telephone book before I called my niece to find out where the people lived. But I only knew the last name and the possibility of the location due to the school district we all live in. I guess I would have gone knocking door to door. Or if I didn't have someone inside the district I would have been at the school to make sure my daughter was safe and followed the girl home.

In hindsight it was crazy what I did, but approaching the mother at her work in a small cubicle and confronting her with her colleagues in their little cubicles probably hearing everything I had to say since her boss appeared. I did not swear, just down and dirty this will stop today. Her boss didn't stop me either he told her to leave and get the problem resolved.

But it stopped the bullying and the girl didn't break my daughter's legs. I truly believe she would have jumped on my daughter that day and I was just fortunate I had my niece working at the school district. I have three nieces working in the district, two first cousins and a best friend that teaches in our district.

My friend teaches 8th grade history and she told me they were advised not to get into the middle of altercations, bring it to the principal's attention. This was to avoid a lawsuit against the school district with a teacher in the middle of a couple of kids fighting. You know like ... yesss I will run to the office and tell on you while you kill each other.

Now we have the internet and can find any one especially if it's someone that lives in your school district. Our county has county maps available online with owner's names. Even if they don't own a home, they have auto owner info online just type in a last name. Yes the World Wide Web opened up the world to us.
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Old 04-12-2013, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Lafayette, LA
3,373 posts, read 2,721,260 times
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Yeah, I guess that's true, there are all kinds of ways to find out who people are.

I don't think I'd have the guts to do what you did, but then if it were my child in danger there's no telling.

Such an awful state of affairs when kids can't just go to school to get an education.

Good for you for putting a stop to it.
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