Oro Valley or Oracle - Adult community or neighborhood? (safe neighborhood, buying)

[Daisypups]

I've become obsessed with researching what it's like living in AZ. With the higher elevations having a lot to do with our decision-making we have "narrowed" down where to live in AZ - Oro Valley or the Oracle area plus it looks beautiful over here! However, we are still wondering about buying into an adult community (which sounds wonderful) or considering a regular neighborhood (a little bit more yard). We like the amenities of the adult communities but would we feel pressured to join everything and if we didn't would we become ostracized because we're not into everything? We like meeting and making new friends but we worry that we won't meet more laid back kind of people, people that one can have meaningful conversations with, share similar viewpoints, as well as whoop it up (the YouTube videos on all these communities doesn't help either). I remember someone saying a lot of type A personalities seem to live in these places. My husband is a bit of an intellectual (not snobby by any means - a wonderful, friendly Midwestern man) and more on the quiet side but fun, too. I go both ways - I'm a native Californian! Is it easy to make friends in Oro Valley or Oracle without having the built-in access to make friends that one has in the adult communities? If we elected to live in an Oro Valley or Oracle neighborhood are there places in these two areas where seniors have access (or they know where to go) to various venues for activity be it sports (I would like to learn how to play pickle ball!), lectures, travel clubs, wine and cooking clubs, book clubs? We're also not golf people but that doesn't bother us too much as long as we could meet like-minded people. This is where we're at right now. Any other good and safe neighborhood recommendations and all comments and opinions welcomed! Thank you for all your help!