7 months in-dissapointed (Tulsa: attorney, neighborhoods, school)

[LeaveWI]

sounds good-count me in!

[LeaveWI]

Is there a website for that?

[karibear]

It's too bad you're in Tulsa and I'm in Hughes County, since I can't drive. I spent 7 years in a smallish town in WA where, at best, neighbors were friendly only if they wanted something. Mostly they acted as if I didn't exist, including what was left of DH's family. So I know exactly how you feel - I do think things will eventually improve for you here, though. It was sort of like that in AK, too, people were friendly and helpful, but no one really went out of their way to become a real friend until after the newcomer had been there for at least a year - they just didn't want to put that much effort into forming any kind of relationship with someone who hadn't proved they really truly liked the place enough to stay and get through a winter.

[Burbankhotty]

other peoples behavior is a reflection of them, not you.
You need to find another job and fast. Get the frigg out of there. Let them wallow i their own filth.
I dont care if you are a big jerk, there should be at least one sympathizer who know how to treat people there......what pigs, move on.
Good luck-It could be the hill billy attitude....try one more job, if it happens again, then you need to leave Tulsa. Let us know what happens.

[sgrizzle]

Originally Posted by LeaveWI

Is there a website for that?

For what?

[joebaldknobber]

Hang in there. I've been in the same boat. Tulsa is a great town.

[suthernharleyryder]

hey, sorry to hear about your troubles, it breaks my heart hearing that there are people in my home state, and almost hometown, that are not showing you true OK love. they must not be from OK....lol
we have lived all over thanks to the military, and can relate on how hard it can be to fit in, but please dont give up.
I agree with one poster, it may be a vibe you give off, i think i read you have a girl back home? i agree, maybe if your lonely and missing her, it shows and makes people want to back away...they may mistakenly assume your a brooder, and so on. show them your notm get your lady to come down to you!!
also, most dont realize anymore when they move and start a new job, especially in offices, so many people did same thing, most are not from the area, so please dont judge the locals over some fuddy-duddies from gosh knows where, its like in high school, they are tryen to be the top dog, and figure if they can have everyone like them and not anyone else, then they are the coolest, just remember, it aint high school...and no one wears that homecoming crown forever....lol if your doing your job well, then let that be enough.
now....maybe they need to see your likeable...dont laugh, but have some flowers, or balloons, or anything deleivered to you at work, they wont know you sent it to yourself, but have the card read somehting funny, and laugh...let them know that you are not a loner, someone thinks your cool enough to send something to, and better yet....maybe have the cards read(have a few sent as thank you gifts/cards) each with something differant, commenting on how much fun they had at your party the other night...bla bla bla, ya get the picture, make sure the cards are left where nosey co-workers will see....they will start to wonder who you are and why they wasnt invited...etc, and work their way towards you. this may be cheap way of maken friends, but if they got wrong vibe from ya, then seeing you in another light may be something to try.
and last(whew!) your online, have ya tried online sites like myspace, fubar, etc?? fubar is a blast, and ya get to know ALOT of people, most anxious to get to know others in the area.
also, next time you bike ride, dont just ride with someone and then say bye, ask them if they want to hook up on a nother trail, ask them where they like to go and ask if ya cna join them next. make yourself be heard!! catch a game somewhere, guys have ways of maken friends as they sit around and watch a game be it live or in a sports bar.
go to the park and shoot some hoops, others will join in, friendships will form. those clubs you join, take the chance and invite some over for a bbq, or drinks and games, etc, let them see your fun to be with. others will follow. I hope you dont give up and make some great friends soon, just dont judge everyone by some. chin up hon andbest of luck!!

[LeaveWI]

Good posts all- Thanks!! i am trying to look for a better job situation, but in this economy it's tough. Sutherynharley, you may be on to something there- I DO miss her alot, in fact her and her family have "spoiled" me because they are the best when it comes to decency, compassion, integrity, character, etc. I jokingly say to them that, they are such decent folks, that they must really be OKies inside, and that they are too good for WI she really is the best, and sadly, she wont be able to come down here as family matters will keep her in WI indefinitely. I came here expecting folks to be as good as them, which I'm sure the TRUE Okies are, but in my office, 95% of them are transplants, so I'm not seeing the best of OK people. Im' sure my dissapointment shows thru, although I keep quiet.
Maybe I will bring some cards in and hang them up, disguising my handwriting, or have my SO send some Keep 'em guessing lol

Thanks all- I'll keep you posted

[Synopsis]

Originally Posted by LeaveWI

Good posts all- Thanks!! i am trying to look for a better job situation, but in this economy it's tough. Sutherynharley, you may be on to something there- I DO miss her alot, in fact her and her family have "spoiled" me because they are the best when it comes to decency, compassion, integrity, character, etc. I jokingly say to them that, they are such decent folks, that they must really be OKies inside, and that they are too good for WI she really is the best, and sadly, she wont be able to come down here as family matters will keep her in WI indefinitely. I came here expecting folks to be as good as them, which I'm sure the TRUE Okies are, but in my office, 95% of them are transplants, so I'm not seeing the best of OK people. Im' sure my dissapointment shows thru, although I keep quiet.
Maybe I will bring some cards in and hang them up, disguising my handwriting, or have my SO send some Keep 'em guessing lol

Thanks all- I'll keep you posted

Have your girlfriend send you some stuff and put it up in your cube/office. Somehow, having to disguise your writing to impress others just doesn't have the right feel to it.

Tell her how lonely you are and that it would really pep up your spirit to get a card from her, or even her parents.

Put pictures of your girlfriend up in your office; let everyone see what a catch you have and turn green with envy.

Hang in there; you'll be just fine.

[OneDayAttaTime]

Originally Posted by Synopsis

Somehow, having to disguise your writing to impress others just doesn't have the right feel to it.

I agree. I remember hearing a story over and over at my office about some woman who used to get flowers and gifts all the time. Then one day she got caught sending them to herself....not sure how exactly...I just remembered people sharing the story. She had been long gone when I got there but the story was still told. So I'd rather you didn't do that one but there have been lots of good ideas on here.

Don't get too busy to come spend time with your friends here on City-Data.