anyone have advise to a parent considering homeschooling? (Tulsa, Howe: renting, crime)

[msmason8]

I have a 11 year old girl that is bright and has always been in gifted and talented classes. Now she is consumed by her friends, boys, and makeup. I am seriously considering pulling her out of public school and home schooling her. Any suggestions?
Thanks
Mom Mason

[TulsaArtist]

First off, its great your a parent who has noticed these things, who obviously cares enough to take the effort to make a positive difference in your childs life. Unfortunately some parents cant, or dont.

My 2 cents worth... See a counselor. Not talking about your typical school counselor but a family or childrens psychologist. These people are there for a reason. They are "life coaches", the best and most successful people have coaches and seek out professional advice in their fields or for whatever they need. Yes these things cost a bit and are luxuries that its often the wealthy avail themselves of, but in this instance what your talking about is a big change that will cost you in time, effort and money for a long time. A bit of investment up front will pay off with expert advice and tips no matter which choice you make. You may end up taking your daughter out of school, only to find that things dont go as you may expect them to. An underlying problem just gets transferred to a different outlet. There could very well be a couple of simple answers and tips which could resolve things. But, ya got to see the pros to find out first.

Btw, sometimes kids that start out gifted and talented in relation to their peers and age group, dont always stay that way. Sometimes a kid that starts out slow, catches up and surpasses their peers later. Early bloomer, late bloomer kind of thing. To try and force an expectation on a child that isnt really where that child now is, can be unfortunate. The late bloomer can be held back, the early bloomer may feel discouraged and even rebel, when they find they can no longer meet their own expectations, or their parents and teachers, for being that "special" more gifted and talented than their peers, child.

There are all kinds of possibilities. But again, get some professional advice, you will be thankful you did.

[Synopsis]

We always kept our daughter extremely busy with activities outside of school. Eventually, she took up a sport that has consumed so much of her time (she IS currently home schooled because we had no choice due to time constraints) that, at 16, she doesn't have time for all of the stuff mentioned above. But, she has a life full of friends that are similarly involved and she is happy/well developed socially.

She's not a typical home schooler though. She performs her school work and such over the Internet and takes tests periodically.

[msmason8]

thanks to you both...that is great advise on both points...Still in limbo though really as my fears for her future only increase with time...thanks again so much.

[kbarjae]

dont do it

[Synopsis]

Originally Posted by kbarjae

dont do it

Why? Can you give a reason?

[linicx]

Do it. Some of the brightest kids I met of any age were homeschooled. The nice thing about home schooling is that anything you do, and anywhere you go, can be used as a lesson credit: Math. Scnience, Englsh, Art, Geography, etc. And there many places in NE OK for teaching purposes and even a little mini-vacation
1. The Civil War and Gen. Stand Wattie that iw buried near Grand Lake
2. The oldest Catholic Church in Delaware County that was built by Chief Splitlog for his Cathoilic Wife
3. LenDonWood Japanese Garden andTea House
4. Harbor Village, the world's largest antique museum
5. The world's larges multple arch dam near Disney, OK
6. The white pelicans thac vvisit Grand Lake for 6 weeks in the fall. And the Blue Heron. Cattle birds, Scissortail, wild turkey, golden eagle, The area is filled with nature.
7. Grocery stores can be used as a healthl and math.
8. Cooking is health, nutrition and math.

I read where one home schooer had a foreign pen-pal. Her mom used it for world geography and as It was used as part of learning Spanish.

You have the teaching book and the answers. The books are not cheap. However some homeschool groups have a book exchage. One group has it in a church, The parent rents the book; the chuch keeps the money as payment for use of space. Every state has different laws, and every group has a differerent policy on books.

Homeschoolers have their own social group and group activities so children develope social skills besides boys and make up. Home school is 12 months in MO. The state tests every year to determine skill levels and what they are learning.

This is OK homeschool: Homeschool groups in OK - Google Search. .

Good luck. Home school and activities will keep you and your child busy for the next five years. Then she will be prepared for college. It is a change your child is likely to resist with tear and ????? But she will attend the best gifted school - the gift of love.
Ask Synopsis.

[dekes1969]

my take on homeschooling


do you go to a mechanic to get braces for your childs teeth ?? no you go to the orthodontist

do you go to to the hardware store clerk for drawing up your will to protect you childs future ? you go to your attorney

do you see the dairy farmer if you child has the flu ? you visit your doctor

do you have your child go to the hair stylist when he/she needs to get medications filled ? no you visit the pharmacist

do you let the sanitation engineer protect/rid your streets of crime to keep your children safe ? no we have law enforcement

do you let a chef build/design the bridges/roads you child drives/rides on ? no you have a civil engineer do it

bottom line is when you need to do something you go to the best licensed/ certified/trained professional in that field.... would not do the same thing when it comes to educating your child ????

[Goodpasture]

Originally Posted by msmason8

I have a 11 year old girl that is bright and has always been in gifted and talented classes. Now she is consumed by her friends, boys, and makeup. I am seriously considering pulling her out of public school and home schooling her. Any suggestions?
Thanks
Mom Mason

I have a couple of comments that may come across as harsh, but an opinion was asked for, and the results of that opinion may very well impact a young woman and both her immediate and long term future. So I am not saying this to be mean or contrary.

First, are you qualified to be a teacher. The reason I ask is the title of this thread. Do you know the difference between "advice" and "advise"?

Next, you are discussing fundamental behavior and peer pressure/group behavior. "she is consumed by her friends, boys, and makeup." is not a very good indicator of a failure in the educational system. Instead it sounds more like a parenting issue. At 11 years old, her being "consumed by her friends, boys, and makeup" indicates her friends are likewise consumed. I would think that finding her friends that are more in line with the values you prefer would be of greater benefit than making her lose her social structure.

I think getting her into a program or groups that do things responsibly would impact her far more than home schooling. All you are doing by moving her from public school to home school is amputating her from her social structure and replacing it with nothing. What should be done, in my opinion, is to provide her with social structure options that allow her to choose alternatives to her current social structure,

I don't know that this is what is happening here, but for an example, lets assume that she is enthralled by Brittany Spears. You tell her Brittany is a tramp and should not be idolized. Her friends say Brittany is an idol. She has to choose who to believe, She WILL choose her friends over you because you are old, stuck in the 80's (as though that was a Renaissance period) and totally unable to relate to her as a young woman of the 21st Century. After all, she has friends that send their boyfriends cell phone photos that would get me arrested for child porn. Bet you never did that. She probably knows as much about oral, anal and homosexual sex than you did at 25. So how can you possibly understand what kind of life she has to live? And, in no uncertain terms, will she allow herself to be considered the geek of the group........and have all her friends laugh at her and make fun of her?

I don't think home schooling is going to make an impact....if anything it is going to be like "grounding her" for the next decade (to her, a lifetime between now and when she turns 18 and get free of mom and dad's rules.......more than likely it will set the stage for her to rebel even more. And the more you restrict her, the more resentful she will become, and the sneakier she will become about doing what SHE wants simply because YOU don't have a clue.

I would suggest ignoring the friends, boys, and makeup and start doing things where what is done is cool. Where the friends are different. And where boys.........well, that is not going to change.......it's going to be worse and worse so YOUR only way to protect her is to develop really open lines of communication.

A thought crossed my mind........have you given any thought about volunteering at a hospital? One of those volunteers that deliver flowers or help change sheets or read to patients or do some of the mundane things that nurses and aides really don't have time to do? If you started doing it "because you enjoy it" and make it attractive, she will want to do it too. If she starts helping in the nursery......gets to know some of the girls that have babies and see the impact of early sex on a young woman's life,......work in emergency so she can see first hand the results of drunk driving and drug abuse.

At her age right now, try getting her into 4H or FFA.......get her thinking in terms of calf's or sheep or gardening rather than boys and makeup. If she started learning horticulture now, and you started a garden with her and let her show you how its done, it will give her an alternative to the friends, makeup and boys.....and will give you the ability to open the lines of communication with her that will let her know that you can listen to anything without passing judgment and can offer practical, rather than ideological advice. Horticulture can be expanded to competitions and garden shows and trade shows and there is a huge internet community of horticulturalists and millions of available peers. You could also do dogs, dog shows, breeds, etc........both dogs and horticulture can be financially rewarding. Imagine her fun at getting paid for a pup and making sure the pup goes to a good home. Imagine her training a dog and having it compete in field trials or show trials or obedience trials. If she decides to do tomatoes she could get a bushel of tomatoes and go door to door selling them and I bet she could get major bucks and still sell out in an hour. I know I would pay a premium for fresh off the vine tomatoes if a neighbors kid came by selling them. Same with any number of other produce.

The boys, the makeup and the friends are all ways to develop an identity and to find value for oneself. "I make myself pretty and boys want me" is a way to receive "compensation"......status, self worth. Put her into a program where she can develop self worth that does not involve sex.......that is the way she is heading now. And if she can develop that self worth through worthwhile things and can become YOUR adviser in those things the doors of communication will fly open. And the communication you develop will last forever....provided you don't blow it. If you develop that now, later, when you advise her she will know that you really are on her side and not trying to boss her or meddle in her life.

But at this time, I think home schooling for you and for her, is not a good idea.

[karibear]

I know people who have been successful at home schooling, but they all did it from the beginning, it wasn't a switch during the pre-teens. I know others who have sent their children to private schools, usually but not always for religious reasons. Those also started at the beginning, not after the children were halfway through their schooling. In fact, most of them sent their children on to public schools to finish up and graduate. The only reason I can think of where it would be advantageous to switch would be in the instance of a learning disability that had been previously undiscovered, such as dyslexia. Even then, a private school that emphasizes working with children with those issues would be a better choice, IMO, than switching horses in mid-stream, so to speak. In a city like Tulsa, you have a lot more options available than someone who lives in a remote area would have. And having a 'social life' is an important part of growing up these days, even if it bothers you - it's up to you to find suitable alternatives, not just yank her out of a situation she obviously finds rewarding for whatever reasons.