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Old 05-18-2012, 02:43 PM
 
5,475 posts, read 3,934,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Not exactly. But he is working in a supportive role to Gretchen, but he does not get credit for that.

If Heather did the same, no one would say anything.

I am not saying they are exactly alike. Of course the person who stays home and chases after FOUR children is more than doing their part. I am just saying that the fact that she isn't contributing financially to the family is not a subject of discussion, and for some reason, it's relevant to Slade.
I wouldn't compare him to Heather because he isn't raising children, but I'd be fine with it if he was a stay at home dad, then they would be comparable. I agree with much of what you are saying, he is basically Gretchen's manager and it seems to me that he does a lot to promote and support her career, women do this all the time for successful men, and no one even thinks to criticize the woman for not having her own career.

He needs to get his debt and child support in order though, I'm certain people would also be criticizing a woman who had child support issues, probably much more vehemently. I'm probably rare in that I don't hate Slade, I have no problem with a man who takes the more supportive role in a relationship, just because Gretchen is the face of their business doesn't mean Slade's not working. I make more money than my fiancee' and we may someday have him give up his career to work for my business, which would be him supporting my career because that would be best for our family. He would also be the best choice for a stay at home parent, (I'm sure that would bring tons of criticism my way, our culture is still quite hung up on gender stereotypes) The big difference between my fiancee and Slade is that my guy is not bringing a lot of debt and child support issues into our relationship, I wouldn't automatically discount a guy who had problems like that, but I would have A LOT of questions to be answered before I'd marry him, as Gretchen does.

Last edited by detshen; 05-18-2012 at 02:52 PM..
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Old 05-18-2012, 03:03 PM
 
Location: gazing @ the Blue Ridge Mountains
9,892 posts, read 6,916,308 times
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you make valid points.
My problem with Slade(and other deadbeat parents) is that he IS a parent so he needs to MAN UP, get some type of employment and take care of his debts and his children. I cannot respect negligent parents and feel they should be jailed until they get the message that it is not ok.

Quote:
Originally Posted by detshen View Post
I wouldn't compare him to Heather because he isn't raising children, but I'd be fine with it if he was a stay at home dad, then they would be comparable. I agree with much of what you are saying, he is basically Gretchen's manager and it seems to me that he does a lot to promote and support her career, women do this all the time for successful men, and no one even thinks to criticize the woman for not having her own career.

He needs to get his debt and child support in order though, I'm certain people would also be criticizing a woman who had child support issues, probably much more vehemently. I'm probably rare in that I don't hate Slade, I have no problem with a man who takes the more supportive role in a relationship, just because Gretchen is the face of their business doesn't mean Slade's not working. I make more money than my fiancee' and we may someday have him give up his career to work for my business, which would be him supporting my career because that would be best for our family. He would also be the best choice for a stay at home parent, (I'm sure that would bring tons of criticism my way, our culture is still quite hung up on gender stereotypes) The big difference between my fiancee and Slade is that my guy is not bringing a lot of debt and child support issues into our relationship, I wouldn't automatically discount a guy who had problems like that, but I would have A LOT of questions to be answered before I'd marry him, as Gretchen does.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
1,193 posts, read 860,018 times
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Slade is a deadbeat there is nothing wrong with being in a supportive role but if that person has debt they need to be gainfully employed.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Texas
28,114 posts, read 23,594,563 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
You can not be serious...

First, Heather is a wife and homemaking who is raising children. She is most definitely contributing to her family. How dare you for implying that she is not contributing just because she doesn't punch a timeclock.

Second, Slade gets flack because he is a serial OC Housewife dater. He went from Jo DeLaRosa ---> to Laurie Waring ---> to Gretchen Rossi in an obvious attempt to keep his face on tv. Slade and Gretchen are not married. And Slade is in a great deal of debt with back child support and other debts from his failed business.

How are these two situations supposed to be similar in your mind?
Ok. The bolded part of this demonstrates you are clearly not reading my posts before just bursting out with indignant answers. So I am not sure how to continue conversing with you.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Texas
28,114 posts, read 23,594,563 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by detshen View Post
I wouldn't compare him to Heather because he isn't raising children, but I'd be fine with it if he was a stay at home dad, then they would be comparable. I agree with much of what you are saying, he is basically Gretchen's manager and it seems to me that he does a lot to promote and support her career, women do this all the time for successful men, and no one even thinks to criticize the woman for not having her own career.

He needs to get his debt and child support in order though, I'm certain people would also be criticizing a woman who had child support issues, probably much more vehemently. I'm probably rare in that I don't hate Slade, I have no problem with a man who takes the more supportive role in a relationship, just because Gretchen is the face of their business doesn't mean Slade's not working. I make more money than my fiancee' and we may someday have him give up his career to work for my business, which would be him supporting my career because that would be best for our family. He would also be the best choice for a stay at home parent, (I'm sure that would bring tons of criticism my way, our culture is still quite hung up on gender stereotypes) The big difference between my fiancee and Slade is that my guy is not bringing a lot of debt and child support issues into our relationship, I wouldn't automatically discount a guy who had problems like that, but I would have A LOT of questions to be answered before I'd marry him, as Gretchen does.
Finally. A reasonable answer.

I totally think that Slade seriously needs to get his ducks in a row. He has a lot of growing up to do. I also think that because he is a man, a bigger deal will be made out of his debt, his child support, his not being able to support Gretchen, etc.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:53 PM
 
944 posts, read 339,297 times
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I wish I had Heathers Life....... dammmmmmm she is lucky
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Old 05-18-2012, 08:17 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
14,693 posts, read 9,764,040 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Ok. The bolded part of this demonstrates you are clearly not reading my posts before just bursting out with indignant answers. So I am not sure how to continue conversing with you.
I most certainly read your post. Both the one that I responded to plus the one previous to it (see below) justified my response.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Interesting.
Heather is a female Slade, no?

She lives off of someone else's wealth.
Then walks around acting like she had something to do with it.

Why aren't we dissing her?

Reverse sexism?
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Old 05-18-2012, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Texas
28,114 posts, read 23,594,563 times
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If you had read it, the line right before what you bolded said clearly that anyone raising four children was more than doing her part.

I have never believed that the only way to contribute is financially. A SAHP is an immensely important job.
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Old 05-19-2012, 12:04 AM
 
5,475 posts, read 3,934,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
If you had read it, the line right before what you bolded said clearly that anyone raising four children was more than doing her part.

I have never believed that the only way to contribute is financially. A SAHP is an immensely important job.
Yes, I read the full statement, and you gave Heather her due for contributing through child care, and were simply bringing up another issue about how we judge men and women differently when it comes to financial contributions.

It's a fair question, women now are supposed to have the ability to have anything they want in life, IMO, men should have that same right, if what they happen to want is to be the behind the scenes support for an outwardly successful woman, or a homemaker, so be it. Women fought for EQUAL rights, IMO, this should apply to men as well, men should be able to make different choices now too and still be respected, it takes a very strong man to be behind the scenes while the woman earns all the accolades and money.

As far as Slade goes, I'd like to know more about what the ex wife is asking for, and what he actually pays/earns, if he is paying a fair share and the kids are fine, and it's a simple matter of the ex thinking it's not enough, no criticism is warranted. Slade is earning money (we know he makes money from Bravo and as Gretchen's manager) I'd need more info before I could agree that he is a true "deadbeat" dad. Many men are getting that label these days simply because they lost so much in the recession that they can't pay the numbers they used to, but the kids are well fed, clothed, and have all basic needs met, but the wife is angry because the extras are gone, just like they would be if the couple were still married. Times are tough, many people have had to cut back their lifestyles, including some angry exes.

Last edited by detshen; 05-19-2012 at 12:25 AM..
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Old 05-19-2012, 12:32 AM
 
Location: gazing @ the Blue Ridge Mountains
9,892 posts, read 6,916,308 times
Reputation: 13605
Quote:
Originally Posted by detshen View Post
As far as Slade goes, I'd like to know more about what the ex wife is asking for, and what he actually pays/earns, if he is paying a fair share and the kids are fine, and it's a simple matter of the ex thinking it's not enough, no criticism is warranted. Slade is earning money (we know he makes money from Bravo and as Gretchen's manager) I'd need more info before I could agree that he is a true "deadbeat" dad. Many men are getting that label these days simply because they lost so much in the recession that they can't pay the numbers they used to, but the kids are well fed, clothed, and have all basic needs met, but the wife is angry because the extras are gone, just like they would be if the couple were still married. Times are tough, many people have had to cut back their lifestyles, including some angry exes.
I don't recall all the details because it's been awhile but one of Slade's sons is very ill. Possibly a brain tumor. I'm sure his ex is peeved because it's pretty common knowledge that he isn't taking care of the child the way a dad should.
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