Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You can't know the pain of losing your spouse to suicide unless you experience it, and I'm genuinely grateful that most of the people reading this post will never know that pain, but take a minute and listen to the suicide widow in the link above, and put yourself in our shoes for just a moment.
You can't know the pain of losing your spouse to suicide unless you experience it, and I'm genuinely grateful that most of the people reading this post will never know that pain, but take a minute and listen to the suicide widow in the link above, and put yourself in our shoes for just a moment.
I'm genuinely sorry for your loss, so please don't take this as harsh or snarky.
The thing is - I'm not discounting your pain or your experience. But you and other spouses or parents of people who commit suicide are not the only ones affected by suicide. There are many different perspectives and views and effects, and your viewpoint - while very valid and heart wrenching - is simply not the only view point with validity.
No two suicides are exactly alike or for the same reasons. I think the show makes it VERY clear that the character who kills herself is emotionally complicated and probably suffering from PTSD. She is clearly not a stable person - she's spring loaded and exaggerates many things in her mind. As the sister and daughter of two very seriously mentally ill people, it was clear to me that she was prone to depression.
Also, I was raped when I was a teenager, and no, I didn't kill myself and didn't feel like killing myself. Not once. Never. So I guess I could get on a tear and say "Well, that show is crap because that's not an excuse!" But I am not mentally unstable. I am not prone to depression.
See, I get it. I get that she was clinically depressed. I get that she was a difficult person emotionally. And I didn't watch the show and come away with the idea that suicide was glamorized or that it seems like the main character was some glamorous heroine. SHE'S DEAD. She's not a victor in any way.
So yes, I watched the clip you linked to and I'm sorry - I don't see it the same way the "suicide widow" sees it. Does that make her wrong and me right? No. It just means that from where I stand, the show didn't look the way it looked to her. I have a different perspective. And that's OK.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 04-27-2017 at 10:23 PM..
Yep, I just finished it last night and I thought it was excellent, though the suicide scene was very difficult to watch. I didn't think it was glamorized - I thought it was very sad and so avoidable. I didn't think it made suicide look easy or pretty.
Her death seemed like a total waste to me. The waste of a young, potentially vibrant life. But I also felt like the show was good at portraying that she was a difficult person emotionally. Not that other people didn't play a role in expounding on her unhappiness, but she was clearly already an unhappy, gnarly person. At least that's how it came across to me. She would have never had a happy, uncomplicated life - any more than Clay will. He is up for a lifetime of gnarly. He IS gnarly. Clearly he had problems before and will continue to have them. And she would have too.
That doesn't make it any less tragic, but it does make it easier to understand why some people can move past difficult times easier than other people.
First off, I did not watch the series. However, I got a letter from my son's principal today about it and looked to see what it is about. My son is only 11 and he isn't allowed to watch anything by himself on netflix. I don't think a teen suicide is a new topic. When I was in high school which was 30 years ago, I did a paper on teen suicide. Suicide packs among teens were a hot topic back then. We had discussions and watched a movie about it. Only thing I remember from my paper was that teens don't see death the way adults see it. They tend to romanticize it without really understanding the finality of it. There is also the childish notion of 'I'll kill myself and show all those people who hurt me'. I also remember psychologist discussing it and explaining how contagious suicide packs among teens are. So, when I was reading about this series, it occurred to me that while the moral of the story the series is trying to impart is to be kind to one another, teens may not see it that way. I was bullied when I was in school and I don't know a single bully who would watch a movie and decide to be kind to anyone. They are angry, mean kids with serious mental issues. I fear this series may lead to a higher suicide rates with teens which is what some mental health officials are warning about.
For the record, I would not let a vulnerable teen watch this series by themselves or just with friends. The only way I would allow my teen to watch this series would be sitting in the same room with me so we could discuss it together - and then only if that teen was emotionally healthy.
Clearly the two main characters in the series were not emotionally healthy individuals. The boy's parents knew this, but the girl's parents seemed oblivious to the fact that their daughter was extremely sensitive and tended to be negative in her outlook.
The show was good. I just want to reaffirm my position on that...
I don't think it's really suitable for teenagers, though. I applaud the task the writers and creators have set out to accomplish, but there are other ways to get the message out about teenage depression and teen suicide. There are even other ways to tell this same story...
Teen suicide certainly isn't new but the style and format of this show is definitely unique...
@Kathryn made a solid point earlier. High school is no different than I remember, minus the technological advances. And I'm only 11 years removed, but bullies are still bullies. There were teenage rapists at my school. There was the popular crowd. There were kids with alcohol and drug addictions. There were aloof teachers and administrators. There was a lot of sex, parties. There were kids who died in car accidents. There was suicide...
All of her experiences are relatable to all of us in form of fashion. She was in severe depression but she also had the tendency of making some things bigger than that had to be...
Why is suicide the only type of death that brings out this type of outrage over a tv show? TV shows portray all manner of deaths and killing, but all of those get a pass as harmless entertainment.
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
17,330 posts, read 33,013,815 times
Reputation: 28903
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPD
Why is suicide the only type of death that brings out this type of outrage over a tv show? TV shows portray all manner of deaths and killing, but all of those get a pass as harmless entertainment.
Several years ago, stigma was attached to homosexual relationships. Ellen DeGeneres started to change that and it's taken great strides, so much so that we typically don't blink an eye when we see a gay relationship on TV anymore.
I doubt that suicide will ever drop its stigma. It's solitary, it's preventable, and so many people don't understand and will continue to judge. I say this as someone who's been touched by suicide and it takes a lot -- and a definite closeness to another person -- to be able to tell them about it, even if they out-and-out ASK how this person died. Even for me -- who understands and doesn't judge -- it's not easy to talk about because of the stigma, and that other person may not understand and may judge.
ETA: I did not watch this TV show, nor did I read the book. I do know what it's about, though.
Last edited by DawnMTL; 04-29-2017 at 11:37 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
