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Just saw an episode yesterday where someone asks Cheech Marin's character Joe what he's doing for lunch. To which he replied, "I don't know, but I think it'll involve talking into a big clown head".
Or the time a suspect just get repeating, "Satan, satan, satan...." to which Joe replied, "Oh, I see you wanna make your one phone call now!"
"Ask ten different scientists about the environment, population control, genetics, and you'll get ten different answers, but there's one thing every scientist on the planet agrees on. Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens, it won't just take us. It'll take Marilyn Monroe, and Lao-Tzu, and Einstein, and Morobuto, and Buddy Holly, and Aristophanes…[and] all of this…all of this…was for nothing. Unless we go to the stars."
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody's gotta have some damn perspective around here! Boom. Sooner or later…boom!"
"On your trip back, I'd like you to take the time to learn the Babylon 5 mantra: "Ivanova…is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova…is God. And, if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out!" Babylon Control out. [sighs to herself] Civilians. [looks up] Just kidding about that God part. No offense."
Then I will tell you a great secret, Captain. Perhaps the greatest of all time. The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make up this station, and the nebula outside, that burn inside the stars themselves. We are starstuff. We are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out. And as we have both learned, sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective.
"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I would look up at your lifeless eyes and wave, like this:[He gives Morden a mockingly cheerful finger waggle.]Can you and your associates arrange this for me, Mr. Morden?"
"Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else."
You see? It's like I've always said: "You can get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can with just a kind word."
"I used to think that it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
Sinclair: Ready?
Delenn: Why do your people always ask if someone is ready right before you're going to do something massively unwise?Sinclair: [smiling] Tradition.
From Farscape:
Can I get a "Hell, yeah!"?
"My dear, I've kicked more ass than you've sat on."
"Have we sent the ‘don’t shoot us we’re pathetic’ transmission yet?"
"Whoa, where do they get these stories? Let’s set the facts straight. First off there was no raping, very little pillaging and Frau Blucher popped all the eyeballs."
"Cross my heart, smack me dead , stick a lobster on my head!"
"Ah, screw it. But I am not Kirk, Spock, Luke, Buck, Flash or Arthur frelling Dent. I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas. "
Pretty much anything coming out of the mouth of Julia Sugarbaker and sometimes even Suzanne Sugarbaker. Miss you Dixie Carter!
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Three's Company
