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I've had the chance to watch about a dozen episodes, some from the beginning in order, and the some random ones.
The children are all a bit socially inept. I live in a very conservative area where many of my neighbors are LDS. Their children are often homeschooled, large families, conservative values. But the LDS go out of their way to get their kids out of the comfort zone so that they are well-spoken and prepared for life outside of the community, the ability to get real jobs. So I see that a bit lacking. Even Anna (I saw the episodes where Josh proposed and then a few of her visiting her family after her sister had a baby) is not comfortable speaking to people outside her family, except maybe Jim the cameraman! I only saw one episode with Ben and he seems a bit more social. I saw one episode where the family went to a church (not their own) and they (the children) were awkward. When in Rome do as the Romans do! Loosen up!
The side hug only thing bothers me. We are not a particularly huggy/emotional family. But when I hug my grown child it is a full on bear hug. I want her to "feel" the emotion of it. Again, just a dozen episodes or so but it seems once the children are over 5-ish then they get side hugs only?
I saw a few of the health challenge episodes. Josh and JimBob are surprisingly unhealthy fr the amount of physical activity I would expect with so many kids around. Josh's blood sugar was close to being diabetic, JimBob's cholesterol is too high, and they are both overweight. Is the tater tot casserole a daily event? I see lots of fruit and veggies on the table for the kids but wondering how much of the other stuff they are eating as well. I understand it's hard to feed such large crowds, but an army marches on its stomach. Maybe less eggs and pancakes for breakfast and more oatmeal and yogurt. JimBob and Josh, and the whole family, needs to change their eating habits. They also don't appear to be a very sports oriented family. Running around outside is good for the little ones. But I don't see any PE incorporated into the homeschooling. I think there should be some organized sport activities for the children in the community. I think this would also foster friendships outside of the family for the children. I'm not suggesting that every child gets to pick a sport, but maybe soccer one year, basketball another, dance or gymnastics, swimming...something to give these kids a lifelong habit of physical activity. Surely they do not have great genes if JimBob and Josh's results are any indication.
One episode the parents went on a marriage retreat and grandma watched the kids. One of the little girls was walking on the kitchen counter. Really? I guarantee that family of 14 who lived next door to us growing up never walked on the counters. I also see a lot of climbing on furniture, over car seats, using furniture like monkey bars. I don't see a swing set, play structure, tree swings, climbing toys, bike riding,... just the play thing in the extra room which Inever see the kids using.
There are a lot of good things...I like Michelle's style of discipline (quiet but firm), lots of good organizational stuff, homey atmosphere, cooperation among the kids. We've seen the little ones melt down a few times and the parents handle it well.
Just my $0.02.
Start at the beginning and then come back to comment after you finished.
They give side hugs out of standards for purity. Their state may not require Gym for homeschooling. Cant comment on food because i cant say. NO child is perfect and neither are The Duggars.
I've had the chance to watch about a dozen episodes, some from the beginning in order, and the some random ones.
The children are all a bit socially inept. I live in a very conservative area where many of my neighbors are LDS. Their children are often homeschooled, large families, conservative values. But the LDS go out of their way to get their kids out of the comfort zone so that they are well-spoken and prepared for life outside of the community, the ability to get real jobs. So I see that a bit lacking. Even Anna (I saw the episodes where Josh proposed and then a few of her visiting her family after her sister had a baby) is not comfortable speaking to people outside her family, except maybe Jim the cameraman! I only saw one episode with Ben and he seems a bit more social. I saw one episode where the family went to a church (not their own) and they (the children) were awkward. When in Rome do as the Romans do! Loosen up!
Judgemental much? All I can say is that as a child I was socially inept, didn't - and still really don't - feel comfortable speaking to people outside of my family. And when I would go to a church that wasn't mine - be it Catholic, Jewish, ohhhh can't think of it but the type that speak in tongues, JW, etc - I wasn't comfortable. BUT I wasn't in front of a camera knowing thousands were being judgemental. Anna has gotten a lot better the more she has spoke in front of the camera. And I went to public school and my church going was just something to do my parents didn't go.
The side hug only thing bothers me. We are not a particularly huggy/emotional family. But when I hug my grown child it is a full on bear hug. I want her to "feel" the emotion of it. Again, just a dozen episodes or so but it seems once the children are over 5-ish then they get side hugs only?
I agree the side hugs are kinda creepy especially parents/kids. But I guess whatever floats their boats.
I saw a few of the health challenge episodes. Josh and JimBob are surprisingly unhealthy fr the amount of physical activity I would expect with so many kids around. Josh's blood sugar was close to being diabetic, JimBob's cholesterol is too high, and they are both overweight. Is the tater tot casserole a daily event? I see lots of fruit and veggies on the table for the kids but wondering how much of the other stuff they are eating as well. I understand it's hard to feed such large crowds, but an army marches on its stomach. Maybe less eggs and pancakes for breakfast and more oatmeal and yogurt. JimBob and Josh, and the whole family, needs to change their eating habits. They also don't appear to be a very sports oriented family. Running around outside is good for the little ones. But I don't see any PE incorporated into the homeschooling. I think there should be some organized sport activities for the children in the community. I think this would also foster friendships outside of the family for the children. I'm not suggesting that every child gets to pick a sport, but maybe soccer one year, basketball another, dance or gymnastics, swimming...something to give these kids a lifelong habit of physical activity. Surely they do not have great genes if JimBob and Josh's results are any indication.
Health challenges? The Duggars and a hell of a lot more families in the US. Don't see any PE incorporated in homeschooling? That's because we don't see much of the homeschooling. They don't show EVERYTHING this family does 24/7
One episode the parents went on a marriage retreat and grandma watched the kids. One of the little girls was walking on the kitchen counter. Really? I guarantee that family of 14 who lived next door to us growing up never walked on the counters. I also see a lot of climbing on furniture, over car seats, using furniture like monkey bars. I don't see a swing set, play structure, tree swings, climbing toys, bike riding,... just the play thing in the extra room which Inever see the kids using.
Kids will be kids and the little ones are showing off for the camera. And if you watch more you WILL see the kids climing trees, riding bikes, playing ball, playing in the extra room with the play thing. SLiding sown the slide in the boys room. They just don't show it every episode.
There are a lot of good things...I like Michelle's style of discipline (quiet but firm), lots of good organizational stuff, homey atmosphere, cooperation among the kids. We've seen the little ones melt down a few times and the parents handle it well.
Just my $0.02.
You just need to realize that those in charge of the filming show what they think makes good TV. And the family isn't filmed 24 hours a day, 365(6) days a year.
Start at the beginning and then come back to comment after you finished.
They give side hugs out of standards for purity. Their state may not require Gym for homeschooling. Cant comment on food because i cant say. NO child is perfect and neither are The Duggars.
THIS says it much better in fewer words. Should have read on before I posted. lol
OK, I haven't watched EVERY episode, but I have watched about 75% of them. Boy there's been a lot of change over the years of the show. You can definitely see how the Duggars (I assume) have gotten more savvy about what/how they share information and what they allow the public to see. I'm sure they constantly evaluate this as they get feedback on the show. In the beginning they seemed very simple, homespun...no computers, no tv, no dating/courtships as the kids were much younger. Now every episode has cell phones, laptops, lots of eating out... We even get to see the kids walking on and licking countertops.
Now that they have married and courting children I see the differences. It may not be for everyone, but if it works for them...I'm not sure about the restriciton from physical contact until married (ewww, would be a bad thing to find out after the wedding that he/she kisses like a wet dishrag! raging and pent up hormones will only carry a relationship for so long). I wouldn't be surprised if things loosen up with some of the younger kids as they get closer to dating/courtship age. I don't believe in being promiscuous and dating every guy that comes along breaking hearts along the way, but I think there is something healthy in dating a few people to know what you like and don't like, aside from the qualities of your dad and brothers.
The hair...I like long hair but I'm really tired of the long curls always the same. I really like Anna but someone could give her some hair styling tips. Her long hanging curls are the worst. The little girls actually have more varied style with their hair! Michelle's looks better this year, not so "big hair." Really, these people know they're on tv. I can think of a million cute French braids, up-do styles, chignons...all very modest but more stylish. Maybe the lack of media in their lives limits what they are familiar with. Just what is it that takes up their time that they don't have time to do their hair. Maybe it is the lack of bathroom space but otherwise they seem to do ok with close quarters.
I still feel that the children, grown and little, are all a bit socially inept. Although I can see now after more episodes that they are well traveled, they do not seem self-confident in the outside world. Michelle even arranged a triple date where they went to learn basic table etiquette. Why wasn't table etiquette addressed growing up? I would never want my child to display poor table manners, even at a young age, let alone in their 20s. Maybe that could be another interactive homeschool lesson. But then they would need to buy dishes and silverware.
I saw a few early episodes with homeschooling going on. As a homeschooler myself I would like to see more or what their curriculum looks like. I've heard that they use Abeka online. Although we also used a lot of online material there really needs to be hands on teaching with interaction. Online courses do not address this. Without interaction it is pure regurgitation of facts. The only educational interaction I've seen is bible time. And for those of you who do not homeschool, I ordered a geography book online once (sight unseen) that I threw away after reading in the first chapter that 3rd world nations would only be able to improve their position in the world by accepting Christ. Sorry...this is a free world and IMO children need to learn to accept other belief systems, not try to convert them. Trying to convert the Middle East to a democracy is working really well for us now, isn't it?
The girls really don't have a vocation that could support themselves and their children if something should happen to their husbands. The midwifery thing seems to be their fallback. It is legal in Arkansas but won't work in most other states if they move away. Why don't they even do some online college classes? Even the boys are not college bound. Really? Jana is the most beautiful young woman but has this sad demeanor of not knowing her place in the world. She knows what the expectations are of her, but there doesn't seem to be a good fit yet that she's found, or the dad has found. She seems pretty bright and more independent. But she just watches the little kids and goes along with her older siblings when they have important events. And like all the girls she has a vacant stare in her eyes, like they don't see the colors in the world...even their own.
Jobs...so Josh started out with a used car lot and now he works for a non-profit in DC...with no education? And living in a 5-bedroom house in DC on one income? I wasn't dropped off the turnip truck yesterday. The royalties from the tv show must be huge or they are in debt way over their heads, no matter what JB says about buy used and save the difference. Then there's John with the tow truck, I think? (I still get some of them confused). Then he's getting a pilot's license? Well, dad started with a tow truck and he did well for himself so I'm sure John will too. I'm not really sure what Joseph is heading for as we don't get to see much of him lately. Derek has a college education (accounting) and Ben is working towards one (poli sci). I think they will do fine. But Ben will have a tougher road if they have children before he finishes his degree. College is never easy and having a responsibility to put food in babes' mouths with a stay-at-home wife...how exactly does that work? Derek has traveled and lived away from Arkansas for a few years after finishing college. Ben, not so much. He seems a bit immature for Jessa, but whatever. I know she is a few years older and guys always seem to mature slower than girls, so maybe he will grow into a really great man. I know these 20-somethings don't have any mortgage payments (grandma's house that a few have lived in was surely mortgage-free years ago, and Jill/Derek are living in a house with no mortgage "till it sells" How long does it take to sell a house in Arkansas?) and they obviously have no college loan debt. So they are starting off as couples lightyears ahead of most American couples. On the other hand, those without a college education are destined to make far less in their lifetimes, which have changed drastically since JB and Michelle were young, and they may find life to be difficult later on.
I'm still bothered by the lack of affection...with the kids, parents. Even JB doesn't give his adult daughters a front hug. There seems to be a line drawn in the sand at a certain age that it is not acceptable to front hug the opposite sex as the siblings don't front hug opposite sex siblings or parental units either. I could hear a virtual pin drop when Jill met Derek returning from Nepal and ran head on into his arms! I think the world stopped spinning in the Duggar world for a second, until they realized the world had not ended because their daughter had a frontal hug with her fiance. In some odd way I feel there is a lack of physical connection in the family, almost like the child psych stuff I had to read in college about children raised without interaction being stunted physically and mentally as they aged with effects sometimes not showing up until well into adulthood. Yes, JB and Michelle seem to have a healthy physical relationship but they were not raised in the same way.
The boys...not educated but they have some good basic skill sets. Not sure if there is something career-wise for all of them, but we'll have to wait and see. And I think the boys were on the short end when attractiveness was given out. Josh and John are pretty Pillsbury doughboy-ish and haven't seen enough again of Joseph lately.
I find the other families (Bates, Seewalds, Anna's family, Dillard's) to be equally as interesting. The Dillard family is definitely the outlier, and having many struggles along the way. I think Derek will be the most balanced so far as he has weathered the loss of his father, the struggles of college, living in a foreign country for an extended time, and his mom's battle with cancer. The Bates admit that their income is so low that they qualify for government assistance but refuse it. The Seewalds and Kellers seem to live simply. The Kellers living in a mobile home, and the Seewald's home seems very comfy and yet keeping things simple as dad is supporting them on a windshield repair business. And Erin Bates just gives me the skivvies...she's like something out of the 1960s South, she reminds me of the movie The Help. The big hair, funny fake smile, doe eyes on her man, not a word of her own opinion.
Besides the hair issue, the only thing that really grates on me is Grandma Duggar doing the laundry. If you want to raise adults who can take care of themselves why are they not all doing their own laundry and linens by the age of ten? Why is Grandma doing all that laundry? And the food...the food! Do these people really live in a total vacuum? Please someone tell the producers it would be a great show if they had a nutritionist come to help out with feeding large families on a budget. I get that starches are cheap but they are definitely not the lucky lotto winners on health genes (JB and Josh on the fitness challenge) and someone could teach some valuable lifelong health habits by teaching their family how to eat properly. How about some math lessons on how many calories each family member requires daily and how to break that down into required proteins, carbs, fats? Then let's calculate some meals and how they stack up to the nutritional needs. And did they miss the boat when they bought used on buying some dishes? I have yet anything other than disposable dishware (except on the anniversary special and a few holidays) on a daily basis. I can't imagine how much they spend each month on paper goods. For my small family of three we calculated a monthly savings of $20 by using real dishes (and the dishwasher, soap, electricity...all calculated by my homeschooled daughter) vs. paper plates and cups.
In the end, I really see nothing wrong with having 19 kids and counting the grandbabies. Michelle is definitely past her baby making years now but I don't think she has internalized the idea as I recently watched the episode where the high risk ob/gyn tried to explain to her the risks of genetic mutation that increases exponentially after the age of 35. But I think the science of aging has taken care of her eggs at this point. I think JB will really like this next phase as there is really no risk of more children and they have plenty of older children to raise the younger ones, leaving more time for closed doors. They have done a good job of living frugally, saving, investing, and owning their lives. Michelle an JB have plenty to retire on and share a bit with the kids. The royalties from the show will go on for years, possibly continuing for the next generation. I believe that everyone is entitled to raise their children as they see fit as long as it is free of abuse. So rock on Duggars!
Watched Jessa and Ben's wedding last night, she looked gorgeous!! I thought it was very sweet I liked the sand ceremony with their families joining them and I liked that they chose to do their first kiss in private.
Going to see the wedding this weekend, looking forward to it. Not sure what Ben's "career" will be? Working for Jim-Bob forever? If Jim-Bob has him run the rentals etc. the sons might be jealous. I guess time will tell.
@ UTSCI - If you do some reading on "Independent Fundamentalist Baptists (IFB)" you will understand the Duggars better. I have some of them in my family, (I am NOT one of them!) and they are super legalistic. Here are just a few rules: Women and girls only wear dressed not pants, "Godly Women do not work outside of the home." (This is a direct quote from a relative so I put it in quotes.) The women are subject to the men. The girls are subject to Jim-Bob until they are married, now their husbands have the authority over them. Homeschooling all the way as to not be tainted by the "world". My relatives don't vaccinate their kids as they believe it causes Autism. I have not heard the Duggars or Bates weigh in on this but very common for this group. I find the Bates family more loving and real than the Duggars. I know what you mean about Erin, I wore my hair like her in the 1980's. But you have to realize, these families do not watch TV and they are very isolated. All the Independent Fundamentalist Baptists only associate with each other.
To defend what I call "Normal" Baptists, this is a very different group, they tend to dislike anyone that is not King James Only, churches that play Contemporary Christian Music etc. "Normal" or more mainline Baptists Churches are not like the IFB.
I am not turning a TV thread into a religious one so hopefully I don't get deleted, but if you want to understand the Duggers you need to understand the IFB mindset.
I watched the wedding last night, God help me. I've missed several episodes as it's not one of my regular shows. I hope I'm not the only one, does anyone else cringe when Ben speaks in his interviews? I understand that marriage (forever) and reproducing is very important to these people, I'm not seeing it with Jessa and Ben. Just doesn't seem like a good match.
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