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Old 09-28-2011, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Tyler, TX
118 posts, read 176,279 times
Reputation: 160

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TxStorm72 View Post
I wish you well in your search, but after reading your criteria on what type of ppl you are looking for, both my wife and I agree (and we sometimes have different views on things) it may be a very difficult search. Most people are gonna likely be into some of the things that you are not into, and vice versa. It may depend on whether or not you are willing to compromise on one or two of these requirements.

At any rate, good luck with your search.


Why thank you!

Oh... I know. Also, while I agree with you and your wife about compromise, I have been in the single's game (that I do love) long enough to know where the chance for compromise is or is not. I have posted something similar to this in other forums to get feedback, as well.

So, yes I am open to compromise but after reading your comment it just got my brain going in a different direction in regards to compromise.

Amazing, but one thing about large cities is that there is a natural inclination to segregate by lifestyle: gay, yuppy, urban, western/country, hippy, suburban etc etc etc. Neighborhoods seem to naturally develop. So, if you want to meet a gay man in Dallas you would go to Oak Lawn, if you want to meet a yuppy in their early 30s then you will have places like Uptown and Addison, or perhaps you want to meet a more liberal minded eclectic crowd you will have Lakewood (although that is changing) and then so on and so on. Options are almost limitless..

However, you can be fairly certain, knowing the venue that you will know the crowd. Tyler? Not so much. Fewer options and a larger demographic they are marketed to. Which I do rather like the idea of a more mixed crowd and diversity. To give a visual example.... You see few monster trucks mingling with BMWs in Dallas... I know that sounds vain, however... that monster truck almost has the same price tag after the upgrades (so it is only vain to the opposition)... So, it is lifestyle and choice. It is how people want to be perceived.

I have lived in a lot of areas... not new to the idea of a new city at all. I have lived in San Diego, every big city in Texas and even a few smaller ones (Bullard for a few months, Tyler, College Station) and amazingly, during this little project over the last couple of weeks, I have had many conversations and emails that, for example, say what I seek is a gay man... What I have seen is that while I may be willing to spend a weekend on a boat with a rod and reel, there is little to zero interest (flat out denial) to accept some of the things I enjoy.

This response is getting longer than I thought it would be. So I will end it here with one more statement, "Clothes make the man" is not a cliche that was created in a void. I use it as a general statement though... It actually covers a lot of ground by saying how you present yourself... well, that is what people will first see and their interpretation. Attraction is about first impressions and then personality, commonality and lifestyle maintains it and it is what it is.

So, yes, I see what you are saying about compromise, and I am willing. However, there is only so much compromise one can logically take before a couple just seems/feels unmatched. Something I have observed all the way around, not just in Tyler. However, I am envisioning quite a few trips out of town...

So, I have my second Tyler date this weekend (like I said I have been there quite a bit)... We shall see. I do hope he realizes that if he pulls up in a 4x4 truck with large rims... Well, gonna be mighty difficult for me to climb in wearing a skirt and heels!

Thanks again!
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Old 09-29-2011, 01:50 PM
 
2,652 posts, read 3,588,267 times
Reputation: 1533
So sorry for the hatemail you received. You certainly seem fair and straight forward enough without being offensive. Good Luck. Much, Much older Mark from Tyler.
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Tyler, TX
118 posts, read 176,279 times
Reputation: 160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Senior View Post
So sorry for the hatemail you received. You certainly seem fair and straight forward enough without being offensive. Good Luck. Much, Much older Mark from Tyler.
Ahhhh... Thank you Mark!

I think people should be forced to wear a sign... "I'm the crazy a** that hides behind the anonymity of the net!"

Would make life MUCH easier.

I have a reoccurring nightmare that I run into one of these people... like them... date them.. whatever!
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Old 09-29-2011, 10:16 PM
 
Location: Right here; Right now
8,750 posts, read 4,437,902 times
Reputation: 1404
I was raised in Tyler TX. 60's, 70's 80's...Tyler is Baptist Central. Even though city council have retired, I suppose their children are in the game now. We (my sister & brother) always thought that when the parents left the council, Tyler would change. I suspect it has not, because it still remains dry.

I lived in Dallas for 12 years and I understand your post above.

You will not find that in Tyler. Those who move to Tyler from other areas of Texas do so, because of what Tyler has to offer. That small town feel, in a big larger sense. They don't move there to enjoy the opera, but the rose gardens and azalea trails instead. That is the best way I know how to describe it.

So, who you are looking for is someone who has moved to Tyler from another state and even then, that person moved there for a reason, like minded ppl.

Understanding the markets:

A girl friend of mine landed a job working for, The Official Thomas Kinkade Website she was to open an art gallery (1999) at the Broadway Square Mall. I told her she was going to love Tyler. She was not so optimistic. She phoned me after Christmas that year to tell me of how much (not how little) in commission she had made. Of course I told her, I told you so.

If you know the artist and you know the market, you know why they would choose Tyler for a gallery.

Although she did tell me she had a hard time finding a satellite service installer for a conference setup. I wish I could tell her tale of woes, as it was told to me, because I never laughed so hard in all my life. I will tell you she said, 'don't call Bob'.

The night life:

There are parts of Tyler that will open up late at night, but those spots are considered the skeleton's in Tyler's closets. And that is all I have to say about that. Except that I have a book about Tyler that was burned, never to be reprinted again. Wikileaks....got to love that site.
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Old 09-30-2011, 12:00 AM
 
Location: Upper East Side of Texas
12,521 posts, read 23,103,688 times
Reputation: 4890
Quote:
Originally Posted by actonbell View Post
I was raised in Tyler TX. 60's, 70's 80's...Tyler is Baptist Central. Even though city council have retired, I suppose their children are in the game now. We (my sister & brother) always thought that when the parents left the council, Tyler would change. I suspect it has not, because it still remains dry.
You can buy wine right across the street from the mall.

Tyler hasn't been a totally dry city for several years. Its partially wet now. You can even drink beer while you shop for groceries at the new Brookshires Fresh supermarket off of Old Jacksonille. Its kinda like a Whole Foods or Central Market type store.

Smith County up in Winona went wet recently too, as did Troup & Jacksonville.

Southern Baptists still run this town, but they didn't get their way in court with the new breast-eraunt that just opened where the old El Chico used to be.
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Old 09-30-2011, 12:16 AM
 
Location: Right here; Right now
8,750 posts, read 4,437,902 times
Reputation: 1404
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metro Matt View Post
You can buy wine right across the street from the mall.

Tyler hasn't been a totally dry city for several years. Its partially wet now. You can even drink beer while you shop for groceries at the new Brookshires Fresh supermarket off of Old Jacksonille. Its kinda like a Whole Foods or Central Market type store.

Smith County up in Winona went wet recently too, as did Troup & Jacksonville.

Southern Baptists still run this town, but they didn't get their way in court with the new breast-eraunt that just opened where the old El Chico used to be.
Does a person still have to buy a membership card? (whole other issue)

But good to know no more runs to coffee city. However, that was kind of fun.

PS: I missed the roof top raising. (lol)

Last edited by Ellis Bell; 09-30-2011 at 12:17 AM.. Reason: ps
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Old 09-30-2011, 12:30 AM
 
Location: Upper East Side of Texas
12,521 posts, read 23,103,688 times
Reputation: 4890
Quote:
Originally Posted by actonbell View Post
Does a person still have to buy a membership card? (whole other issue)

But good to know no more runs to coffee city. However, that was kind of fun.

PS: I missed the roof top raising. (lol)
No, that was done away with. Thank God.
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Old 10-01-2011, 03:13 PM
 
103 posts, read 83,495 times
Reputation: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Senior View Post
Good Luck, many of us TRY to at least sometimes, to put God first. Good Luck to you, you should find adequate supply of the men you require.
Does that somehow make you better than those who do not believe or doubt the existence? Just curious.
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Old 10-01-2011, 10:41 PM
 
Location: Right here; Right now
8,750 posts, read 4,437,902 times
Reputation: 1404
Quote:
Originally Posted by mizela View Post
Does that somehow make you better than those who do not believe or doubt the existence? Just curious.
I know this question was directed at Mark. However, I do believe in God and I do believe in the importance of putting Him first.

So, in my answer to your question. We are no better, but our priorities are not the same.

I lived in Tyler, was raised there in an era that in my humble opinion, it was great to be alive. It was a time when my mother signed checks, Mrs., my father's name and last name...and knew it meant it was an honor to be his wife. A person does that now and it's like, what?

The food that was on our table the most, was the food that came from our extended family's orchards and gardens. Oh and the taste. People don't know what good is anymore. My grandfather planted roses and owned rose fields. A person could buy a dozen red roses on from a corner rose stand for .50. My grandparents were at one time in their young married life, the care takers of the East Texas Fair Grounds. Grandma saw Elvis and she was not impressed. (lol)

The schools and the parents supported one another and neither lived in fear of the other of reprimand for making a child mind their manners.

My grandfather use to fuel his car at the Duncan's station. Sandy Duncan's father. I'm sure most folks will have to google her, to find out who she is. AT&T use to air a commercial (1987) with her in it. She phoned her father to thank him for the dozen red roses he sent to her. The commercial of course was reach out and touch someone. I saw the commercial when we were living in Georgia. If a person didn't know she came from Tyler, no one would understand what they were conveying in the commercial.

We were members of Central Baptist church and we were in church every Sunday. I also attended services on Sunday night and Wednesday nights with my grandmother. We had allot of fun it was good. Bro Pringle was the pastor and the church was fundamental. (now there's a word no one wants to use anymore) The church several years back, moved from it's location on Front Street and changed to a Southern Baptist doctrine. I have yet to see the inside of it.

Tyler use to be a very quiet special place where people came to so as to raise their family and family values were a priority. Just as your question is one that I still see as odd...I'm sure Tyler is making it's changes as well.

I had cause to go to Tyler this last week and I can't go home, because home does not exist. The house is still there. There is family living in that house and there is family still living and running their businesses in Tyler...but home it's not there.

My home is with Jesus and one day I will go home and that is what makes it or breaks it, in the answer to your question.

Last edited by Ellis Bell; 10-01-2011 at 11:00 PM..
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Old 10-02-2011, 02:15 PM
 
103 posts, read 83,495 times
Reputation: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by actonbell View Post
I know this question was directed at Mark. However, I do believe in God and I do believe in the importance of putting Him first.

So, in my answer to your question. We are no better, but our priorities are not the same.

I lived in Tyler, was raised there in an era that in my humble opinion, it was great to be alive. It was a time when my mother signed checks, Mrs., my father's name and last name...and knew it meant it was an honor to be his wife. A person does that now and it's like, what?

The food that was on our table the most, was the food that came from our extended family's orchards and gardens. Oh and the taste. People don't know what good is anymore. My grandfather planted roses and owned rose fields. A person could buy a dozen red roses on from a corner rose stand for .50. My grandparents were at one time in their young married life, the care takers of the East Texas Fair Grounds. Grandma saw Elvis and she was not impressed. (lol)

The schools and the parents supported one another and neither lived in fear of the other of reprimand for making a child mind their manners.

My grandfather use to fuel his car at the Duncan's station. Sandy Duncan's father. I'm sure most folks will have to google her, to find out who she is. AT&T use to air a commercial (1987) with her in it. She phoned her father to thank him for the dozen red roses he sent to her. The commercial of course was reach out and touch someone. I saw the commercial when we were living in Georgia. If a person didn't know she came from Tyler, no one would understand what they were conveying in the commercial.

We were members of Central Baptist church and we were in church every Sunday. I also attended services on Sunday night and Wednesday nights with my grandmother. We had allot of fun it was good. Bro Pringle was the pastor and the church was fundamental. (now there's a word no one wants to use anymore) The church several years back, moved from it's location on Front Street and changed to a Southern Baptist doctrine. I have yet to see the inside of it.

Tyler use to be a very quiet special place where people came to so as to raise their family and family values were a priority. Just as your question is one that I still see as odd...I'm sure Tyler is making it's changes as well.

I had cause to go to Tyler this last week and I can't go home, because home does not exist. The house is still there. There is family living in that house and there is family still living and running their businesses in Tyler...but home it's not there.

My home is with Jesus and one day I will go home and that is what makes it or breaks it, in the answer to your question.
Hi actonbell:

I respect your reply, just as I respect your right to believe as you choose.

Yes, my question was for Mark because I detected a bit of arrogance in his remark . . . the problem I have with any religionist is when he/she insinuates that being religious somehow makes one person better than another who is not. And because I am not religious, it's impossible for me to understand how someone could put 'god' first in their life, when 'god' is not a tangible, proven-to-have-ever-existed entity. You have to understand that to people who are not religious, that's the same as saying that you put a fictional character from a book "first" in your life above yourself, your family, everything.

As a non-religious person, I have never once tried to 'convert' any believers, so my idea of respect is that everyone respect each other and take into account that we all have the right to think/believe as we each choose.

And I ask you to please consider that we "heathens" can have the same basic priorities, that we can appreciate the most wondrous things in life, and can cherish all the great and sweet memories of a pleasant past that is now quite far removed from this current-day lost world that is sadly spiraling out of control.

Now that said . . .

I enjoyed reading your memories of Tyler. What years are you most specifically referring to?

I went to school there from the mid-60s through around 1973, and I have some great and vivid memories of Tyler. I've been back only a handful of times since, and it's changed in many ways, but oddly, in some ways Tyler seems almost left behind, like parts of the city haven't kept up with the times (which can be a good thing). Do you know what I mean by that impression of Tyler?

No, you can't go back home in that sense . . . whenever I've returned to Tyler, I expect it to feel the same as it did back then . . . and it does not . . . and that makes me sad.

I was thinking about Sandy Duncan just not long ago, wondering what happened to her.

I remember seeing Loretta Lynn at the East Texas Fair and that was a big thrill for me back then. East Texas played prominently in the beginning of Elvis' career. I saw him many times over the years.

Oh the Tyler roses! Such a beautiful fragrance! And the azalea trails and all those beautiful homes along the trail.

Speaking of flowers, do you remember Judge the Florist? What became of that business? I LOVED going in that shop! I remember the smell of eucalyptus ~
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