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Old 07-26-2015, 02:16 AM
 
579 posts, read 506,875 times
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Silly question I know, but let me just say I am SCARED of ghosts! I have never seen one and although I am curious and research online more than I should, I hope to never run into one. I am also scared whenever a family member passes away, because I am afraid their ghost will come back and haunt me. I met my great grandpa twice when visiting overseas. He passed away when I was 15 or something. I didnt really know who he was, but one night while listening to music, I heard someone call my name. I went to my dad's room and asked if he called for me and he said no.

It was a one time incident and I have ruled it out as my imagination. My dad passed away when I was 16. He knew I was afraid of ghosts, and surprisingly, I never had any fear that he would come back and try to contact me.

Now with my mom, she is currently 65, and I wish her a long, prosperous health (although she keeps complaining of being sick), but I dont know why I keep having a fear that when she passes she will come back and haunt me. Maybe its her temperament, or that I am one of the rare people who are actually nice to her. I just cant brush off the feeling that she's going to haunt me. Is this weird? She keeps telling me over and over that when she passes, she wants one of us to bring her body back to her homeland and to NOT cremate her body in the states. I feel like if we go against her wishes, I will be the first that she haunts because to her, I am the most reliable out of all her kids.

I am going to stop here since I am sounding like a lunatic, but hopefully I didnt drive anyone crazy from reading this. Basically, I am scared of ghosts and scared of being haunted.
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Old 07-26-2015, 07:06 AM
 
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I have absolutely no proof that the dead don't haunt people, but my 'gut feeling' is that no, they do not come back. My thought on this has to do with the way I was brought up, and the fact that I believe that whatever spirits that are out there (and I do believe there ARE spirits) are NOT those of the dead.

It seems that you have a great fear of this, and that may be the reason that you are so worried about it - You don't sound like a lunatic, you sound scared- and that's understandable. But i honestly don't think you have anything to worry about, because even if loved ones could come back (which I don't think they can), just knowing how afraid you are I'm sure they would never do that to you!
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Under the Redwoods
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There are different kinds of 'hauntings'; Intelligent and Residual. What you are speaking of are intelligent hauntings. Not all hauntings are scary. Most ghosts I have encountered tend to be quite passive and at times helpful.

I do not know what there would be to be afraid of if the ghost is a family member, especially when there was a good relationship.
I would actually feel comfort from a ghost visit from a loved one.

Typically, the theory on ghosts is that something in thier life was disturbing, traumatic or unresolved in their life that has them in 'spirit limbo'. Would any thing like that be an issue with your family? Would that have anything to do with you?

So is it possible for them to remain here in ghost form? Yes.
Is it likely they would? Probably not if they had a ordinary life.

Now there are visits of spirit energy of those who have passed on, not actual ghosts. This is seen by lights flashing, odd phone rings, coins appearing out of nowhere, scents of perfume or other odor directly associated with the deceased and whispers. This is how they communicate to the living that they are still 'present' in your life, just not in physical form.

You really have nothing to be afraid of at all. Enjoy the visits if you have them. You can even go as far as to talking to them as they may respond in some way.
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:06 PM
 
97 posts, read 69,593 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conlainhothuong View Post
She keeps telling me over and over that when she passes, she wants one of us to bring her body back to her homeland and to NOT cremate her body in the states. I feel like if we go against her wishes, I will be the first that she haunts because to her, I am the most reliable out of all her kids.

I am going to stop here since I am sounding like a lunatic, but hopefully I didnt drive anyone crazy from reading this. Basically, I am scared of ghosts and scared of being haunted.
I'm not sure where your mum's homeland is, but I'm guessing that it is not that easy repatriate anyone back to their homeland after death, not to mention the costs involved.
With that in mind it may be worth finding out what exactly is involved in this repatriation process and the associated costs involved.............then perhaps you can have private chat with your mum explaining why it would be difficult to repatriate her.............. perhaps you can offer her some type of compromise and get something like a lock of hair of hers and promise her to take it back to her homeland?

As for ghosts, I know too many people, myself included who have "out of the ordinary" experiences to dismiss them as figments of the imagination, that said If these thing are ghosts, then they are extremely rare, in that the people I know only ever have one or two experiences in their lifetime.
I like others who have certain "out of the ordinary " experiences look back and feel somewhat privileged to have had those experiences,
The word "haunting" is perhaps the wrong word to use............and you shouldn't think "horror movie" ghosts.
If you are lucky enough to experience a visit from a family member, then rest assured they won't do it to frighten you.

I recommend you sort something out with your mum........if nothing else it will give you a better peace of mind.

Last edited by Klambo; 07-26-2015 at 12:16 PM..
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:21 PM
 
11,929 posts, read 20,376,242 times
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Out of all the "paranormal" creatures in our mythology, ghosts are the most likely to be real.

However -- it doesn't mean they are. And from all the stuff I've read on ghosts, a lot of the manifestations are way more like a "video" of the past. A snapshot into a time of great distress that caused the person's demise. Like -- Catherine Howard, the 5th wife of Henry the 8th, was taken by guards for treason, a crime punishable by death (beheading, which she died from) and she broke out of their arms and ran screaming down the grand hallway towards the King to plead for her life at Hampton Court. Apparently, she still does this. It's an imprint.

I've read about lots of those, including the Ghost Train that carried Abraham Lincoln's body back to Illinois. In this case it would have been our country's grief that caused the imprint.

It's also said those fade over time.

Then you have intelligent hauntings. Those are the ones you see on TV -- they are rare, where you can talk to a spirit and get a response. Do they happen? I don't know -- never saw a ghost.

BUT --I can tell you I had a dear friend whose mother died of cancer. She made everyone promise ...PROMISE! that she would have a closed casket funeral, that my friend would stay with her grandparents (because she HATED my friend's father, her ex) and that the minister in their church not be the one to do her funeral.

Everyone swore at her deathbed -- yes yes yes..... and every single wish....broken. The grandmother didn't care one bit, people have open casket funerals, so that's what we're going to do. The dad moved in, and within two weeks, moved my friend in with him and his new family. And the grandfather loved the minister in their church...so that's who did the funeral service..

If there was ANYONE who had a reason to come back it was my friend's mother. And if there was anyone who could have done it out of sheer spite, it was my friend's mother. Nothing. And in that era, that was one of the few times we played with a Ouija board, so if she was going to come back.... she had a ready made voice box to do so.

I've lost my fair share of people, and none of them have come back -- and I also spend time embroiled in my family's past, doing genealogy, and some graveyard hunting looking for their gravesites and more information (PLEASE put dates on your headstones!) and no one has ever come back to talk to me or give me any info....

I hope this helps. I know what it was like to lose my mother, but then having to send her off to a different country where I can never lay flowers at her grave again? I don't think I could do that, no matter what she wanted. And I KNOW my mother -- she would have understood and forgiven me.

And if it's the siblings making the decision and you get outvoted, why would she come after you? You wanted to do what she wanted, and got outvoted -- if she could come back she'd go after the ones that DIDN'T.
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:27 PM
 
11,119 posts, read 8,527,266 times
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I would be greatly disappointed in the "afterlife" if there wasn't anything else to do but bug people I knew when I was living.
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
2,202 posts, read 1,424,463 times
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This question is haunting in itself as there are so many unknowns. My personal focus is on the dead
believers in Christ receive a so-called "heavenly body" and apparently can travel .They are essentially
angels or spirit entities ? Spirits travel in orbs frequently often in formation presenting as a ship when
light clustered ( my analogy is small finish in the ocean gather in clusters to appear as a large fish so
predictors don't attack). A close friend who was a teacher at MATC in Milwaukee called my wife and I
ut to his home and shared a a scenario whereby his wife he and his dog were upstairs when their dog
began barkinking . My friend looked down the stairs and saw an old man look up then walk through
the door at the bottom of the stairs. Weeks layer same thing . They all were plying ping pong in base-
ment when the dog went nuts barking . Once again the man appeared and gone in a heartbeat. Many
such stories exist. In the end .....angel spirits.
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:43 PM
 
97 posts, read 69,593 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallysmom View Post
And from all the stuff I've read on ghosts, a lot of the manifestations are way more like a "video" of the past. A snapshot into a time of great distress that caused the person's demise.

If there was ANYONE who had a reason to come back it was my friend's mother. And if there was anyone who could have done it out of sheer spite, it was my friend's mother. Nothing. And in that era, that was one of the few times we played with a Ouija board, so if she was going to come back.... she had a ready made voice box to do so.

I've lost my fair share of people, and none of them have come back -- and I also spend time embroiled in my family's past, doing genealogy, and some graveyard hunting looking for their gravesites and more information (PLEASE put dates on your headstones!) and no one has ever come back to talk to me or give me any info....
The thing about ghosts is that there are no "rules" so to speak, it indeed seems pretty random.
i.e not everyone that dies in great distress comes back as a ghost.
Nor as in this case will someone come back because their last wishes were not met.......... that's more horror movie script than reality.

This is probably one of the main reasons why ghost or the ghost phenomena cannot be studied easily......and certainly not under scientific "lab conditions" to give repeatable results.

Forget all those "Ghost Hunting" programs on tv, where they turn up at a location, and immediately get phenomena happening.........most of that is more to do with expectation of ghostly phenomena not real phenomena.
Ghosts simply don't perform on command............... If you ever do get a genuine ghost experience it will most likely be completely random and out of the blue.
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Old 07-26-2015, 04:37 PM
 
3,978 posts, read 3,362,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by conlainhothuong View Post
She keeps telling me over and over that when she passes, she wants one of us to bring her body back to her homeland and to NOT cremate her body in the states. I feel like if we go against her wishes, I will be the first that she haunts because to her, I am the most reliable out of all her kids.
Are you planning to NOT deliver her request?

Where is her homeland?
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Old 07-26-2015, 06:39 PM
 
Location: Falls Church, Fairfax County
4,852 posts, read 2,903,405 times
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Discarding whether ghosts exist or not I think that the way you handle people can haunt you for the rest of your life.
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