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This thread intrigues me. I've felt this feeling of fall for a long time. It starts in late August as soon as the days grow shorter. Almost like an ending feeling but also a beginning. A darkness I can't explain.
The fall is beautiful yet feels like sadness.
Today though something odd happened.
My mother passed almost 3 years ago. She use to always call me on ride home from work at 5-515ish o see how my day was and how the dogs were. Today I got a call from her old work number at 5:13 with no message. Maybe no coincidence but seemed strange. I called back and nobly answered. Last night I had a dream of her but as all my dreams of her I can only get so close and she never answers questions.
I thought it was due to the fact that as of July 1st I am stimulant-free. For the 1st time in 28 years that I did it for ME instead of doing it because I was pregnant (I am ASD/ADD. Stimulants were prescribed as theraputic but when my tolerance increased beyond what they could provide; yes, I went the illicit route).
I mentioned in another thread here about how during my pregnancy with my twin girls how it felt like the "windows" were always open.
Truth be told; my "windows", when I was younger were always open. As I got older, not so much.
So, these last few months I've been wondering; was it pregnancy that "thinned the veil" ? Did the use of psychotropic meds "thicken" the veil (the only time I ever would stop using stimulants is when I was pregnant ; which was alot with 11 kids)?
Maybe a combination of the two?
I never considered that maybe this was a shared experience that cycled with the seasons but now that it's been mentioned it seems to make sense. EVERYTHING in this world cycles; from the huge (solar system) to the small (a human female/animals).
I guess I have a lot of catching up to do after spending 28 years firmly pushing down the "mute" button.
Folk song by Peter Mayer.....look it up on youtube. I love his stuff. About how the pain or joy of someone miles or years away can still touch your heart.
I have found a hole in the center of the heart
Through which a thread goes, enters and departs
It s fastened in the middle to inside of me
From where it then continues through the heart of everything
So when I get a feeling like a pulling on the chest
I have to ask if that was me or one of the rest
Sometimes it s painful, sometimes just a tap
Sometimes it happens violently and knocks me on my back
When pain is not just mine alone, that's when I know
Somebody s tugging on the string
And when I start shaking, like a tremor in the ground
Or and organ pipe in rank when it s resonating sound
Such a fine emotion of such intensity
Takes a hold, and I know that it can't be only me
Then I guess that someone, maybe far away
Has grown a little tired of the instrument they play
And somehow has discovered that universal thread
And reached out a courageous hand and plucked that chord instead
When life seems like it s only music, then I know
Somebody s playing the string
And sometimes when I stand beneath the sky at night
I take up the slack till the string is tight
And staring at the stars, I take a step or two
And I see them move
I think I see them move
Everything s connected like peas are in a pod
Or beads upon a necklace, decorating God
Going around the rosy, we re all in the ring
Hand in hand, like a strand through the heart of everything
Folk song by Peter Mayer.....look it up on youtube. I love his stuff. About how the pain or joy of someone miles or years away can still touch your heart.
I have found a hole in the center of the heart
Through which a thread goes, enters and departs
It s fastened in the middle to inside of me
From where it then continues through the heart of everything
So when I get a feeling like a pulling on the chest
I have to ask if that was me or one of the rest
Sometimes it s painful, sometimes just a tap
Sometimes it happens violently and knocks me on my back
When pain is not just mine alone, that's when I know
Somebody s tugging on the string
And when I start shaking, like a tremor in the ground
Or and organ pipe in rank when it s resonating sound
Such a fine emotion of such intensity
Takes a hold, and I know that it can't be only me
Then I guess that someone, maybe far away
Has grown a little tired of the instrument they play
And somehow has discovered that universal thread
And reached out a courageous hand and plucked that chord instead
When life seems like it s only music, then I know
Somebody s playing the string
And sometimes when I stand beneath the sky at night
I take up the slack till the string is tight
And staring at the stars, I take a step or two
And I see them move
I think I see them move
Everything s connected like peas are in a pod
Or beads upon a necklace, decorating God
Going around the rosy, we re all in the ring
Hand in hand, like a strand through the heart of everything
This thread intrigues me. I've felt this feeling of fall for a long time. It starts in late August as soon as the days grow shorter. Almost like an ending feeling but also a beginning. A darkness I can't explain.
The fall is beautiful yet feels like sadness.
Today though something odd happened.
My mother passed almost 3 years ago. She use to always call me on ride home from work at 5-515ish o see how my day was and how the dogs were. Today I got a call from her old work number at 5:13 with no message. Maybe no coincidence but seemed strange. I called back and nobly answered. Last night I had a dream of her but as all my dreams of her I can only get so close and she never answers questions.
Thoughts?
That is interesting. In my experience everything happens for a reason. I have high synchronicity and some people do, it is a talent like any other. I would never doubt your experience as being authentic and meaningful. You were being given a message. Electronics and especially cell phones are easy to manipulate it seems. I would just accept the experience and use your intuition to understand what that means to you.
That is interesting. In my experience everything happens for a reason. I have high synchronicity and some people do, it is a talent like any other. I would never doubt your experience as being authentic and meaningful. You were being given a message. Electronics and especially cell phones are easy to manipulate it seems. I would just accept the experience and use your intuition to understand what that means to you.
I would interpret that her mom never says anything because the daughter would have to cross to get that level of communication. ( I'm taking it the only level of communication the daughter knows is voice, lip movement, speak eta: talk). Now, I've experienced the exact opposite. It's where you don't have to move your lips or mouth because everything is understood, mentally. Her daughter would have to cross to get that though and that's not always a smooth ride. It comes with risk and unknown repercussions. It is a healing sometimes but sometimes they don't want to talk or don't know what to say, so there is a deadlock. One thing for sure, no one wishes they were on the other side. Their loved one has passed ( deceased) and can't do anything for their love ones, who are still alive... so it's hard on them.
Last edited by thegreenflute334; 10-17-2016 at 12:51 AM..
Elaborate on the risks and the ride to get there.....
I always feel so close to finally speaking with her
It may be where you need to get comfortable to say something before she replies. It might be to where you have to say something 44 times before she thinks you're comfortable. You might be putting the cart before the horse. ( I'd try that first) All I did was answer the phone in a dream, so I never saw my mom.
The risks and the rides that I was talking about won't really be needed if you've already seen her, in your dreams.
I think the veil is real. I have been more ...sensitive.....this past few weeks. Even had DH's dec'd fiance visit me in my dreams once. She was just telling me it is time to move on. Even though I had never met her in person, she has been a presence since I got with DH. She had passed on 2 months before we met. We would not have met if she was still living.
My sleep has been disturbed since September. I knew it had to do something with the change of the seasons. I am currently going through some emotional turmoil, so it is difficult to place things and identify what's going on at times.
As for being sensitive, I have always had that gift. I tell people it is not something that I can just make happen. It is an "allowance" of some kind. Being open to higher forms of communication, perhaps.
The energy is not good and it hasn't been for a while. There is a lot of tension in the air and you feel it if you are sensitive. It is getting better. We just had a tough full moon but now the change is in the air. By next month it should be resolved, from what I know. We are over the hump. It isn't just the change of seasons, it is a 'thing'.
Some people might feel the change of seasons and not the oppressive energy but it has been noticable. Everybody feels the effects in their own way.
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