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Old 08-26-2017, 10:53 AM
 
453 posts, read 295,942 times
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My dad past away in our home five years ago. He had a brief illness and was on hospice at home it was sudden, his illness was only 4-5 weeks and he went progressively downhill and died. Here are some amazing happenings during and after that time.

While he was still alive, but only two days before he died, he was by that time not able to even sit up and was in bed 24/7,. Mostly sleeping, with brief periods he would waken but was too weak to even sit up. Two days before he died, I was there at home with him. As always he was in bed. There was a nurse here with him too. I went into the kitchen and was standing there getting a cup of coffee, when from my peripheral vision I saw my DAD standing off to the side, at the counter like he often did, stirring a cup of coffee, ( after I saw him from my side vision I turned to look and he was standing there, wearing his favorite red Hawaiian shirt the one his granddaughter sewed for him on Father's Day the year before... he looked healthy and didn't have his oxygen, he was at a heavier weight instead of thin and sick looking) as I looked at him, it seemed as if he couldn't see me. It was as if his spirit was just doing what he was used to doing his whole life, and he looked around a minute and then disappeared. Even though I knew it wasn't possible for him to suddenly get up put on a Hawaiian shirt and be ok, I double checked right away and he was in his hospital bed, unconscious as thin and weak as he has been. I didn't tell the nurse but I told my daughter and she had no doubt that he had somehow been able to momentarily leave his physical body. She put it in simple terms- she said he is between this earth and the next realm right now, he wanted to just have a cup of coffee and feel free. I looked up all over the internet and found something called the silver cord. It explained there is a kind of cord, sort of like the umbilical cord at birth, but it is a tether from our spirit and body and when one is hovering between this world and the next their spirit can choose to momentarily leave their physical body being tethered to it by the silver cord, the spirit might do this for different reasons, to visit a loved one, to try out being freed from their physical body or simply to be able as in my dad's case to be able to enjoy just one more time something they were used to doing in life- for my dad he enjoyed the simple things- standing at his kitchen counter stirring a cup of coffee. It also said hey can during that time be visible to others- and may appear in some clothing that has special meaning- his red Hawaiian shirt sewed by hand by his only granddaughter for Father's Day apparently was the most special piece of clothing he had for its endearing significance. I knew when I saw him there that day, it meant he would be leaving soon. Very soon, although it was clear he was dying the nurse had said he could have a few more months, but I just knew when he left his body that day temporarily to be in the kitchen it meant he was preparing to leave very soon. Less than 48 hrs later he passed.

After he died we had a priest come to anoint and bless him. We spent a little time. Each one alone with him to say whatever we needed to. It was a holy moment.

We made plans for his cremation, I didn't want to know when it would be. I was in class one morning when out of the blue I was overcome with freezing cold chills all over my body as if it was 32 degrees suddenly. My teeth were chattering and I got goosebumps from the icy coldness that lasted maybe five minutes. I knew what that meant and later confirmed that was the time he had been cremated.

My daughter told me in the week after he died whenever she had to drive out on the freeway to school she claimed she could tangibly feel her grandpa there in the car with her.

Going back, a few months before he fell ill, he had suddenly began calling me for no reason mid morning several times a week when I was at school. I would be in class and see him trying to call me and I felt the need to step out of class instead of letting it go to voicemail. He would always be just calling to say hi and ask how I was and that to have a good day and sometimes would say I love you. That went on for a while in the few months before he became sick-- he was healthy and looking back I feel somehow his subconscious sensed his time was limited and calling me those mornings just to say hi ( which he really never did otherwise, although he would call from time to time it wasn't just to say hi).... I am soooo thankful that I chose to excuse myself from class every time he called because although I didn't know why, I felt like it was important I take hose calls instead of letting it go to voicemail.

A couple days after he died I decided to go to class just to distract myself. My mind was definitely on him the entire time, I really sensed him close by. Midway through the morning I felt this nudge to go outside, I left to go downstairs and went outside. There was a very light gentle rain and as I stood there I just felt like it was a moment of him and me alone together, I softly said hello to him and told him how much I love and miss him.

At his service two weeks later, at the lunch part after I noticed my daughter disappeared. I walked out looking for her and could see her way off across the parking lot in this little garden area by herself and just let her be alone feeling she needed to have time away from the crowd. Later that day she told me she had wanted to be alone and was sitting there by a statue of Mary, my dad was catholic and always prayed the Hail Mary and if one of us was sick he would tell us he would ask the Blessed Mother to pray for us. She had been drawn to go sit down by that Mary statue and she told me while she was there she felt this breeze, and she knew her grandpa was with her inthat breeze and then heard his voice say " I'm always going to be here don't worry"...

There were many more things but the one more I will explain was on thanksgiving. His favorite holiday. The first one since he had passed two months prior. Me and my daughter and brother were in the kitchen cooking, around 2 pm the dog ran over to the front door barking and wagging her tail. I went and then my brother looked, nobody there. No cars pulling up or people walking by across the street, just quiet and nothing going on but the dog persisted in wagging her tail jumping up and barking looking at the front door. My daughter said to me "you know what that was right?" And I said that yes it was grandpa coming to visit for his favorite holiday, I had a feeling there was no way he would miss it.

A month later I had the flu, I'm really healthy he type I hardly ever catch a cold. My daughter and her boyfriend went out to drive to the beach, my daughter said she felt sad and also was a little worried about me even tho it was only the flu. She said she audibly heard her grandpa say "everything's gonna be alright"...��
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Old 08-28-2017, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Huntsville
4,590 posts, read 2,681,319 times
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I was a skeptic for most of my life in this sort of thing until my grandfather, grandmother, and mother passed away. I have some similar experiences that still make me wonder.


We grew up on a 100 acre farm in rural Southwest Alabama. My grandfather spent his entire life there on that land. We lived across the road from him and my uncle at the other end of the field. Not a soul around for miles.


In 2005 my grandfather came down with pneumonia and passed at 93 a few weeks later in a hospital bed in the den. My grandmother seemed to go off the deep end (she was 87 and they had been married for 70 years). She refused to leave, telling us that he was still around. One weekend my wife and I came home to visit and stayed in my old room at her house to keep her company. My grandfather was always picky about us going in the formal living room outside of Christmas. They also only had one window unit for the entire 2500 sq.ft. house, so we were required to keep the doors closed off unless we were in the room. As kids, we would sometimes go in the rooms playing hide and seek and forget to close the doors. That annoyed him and he would slam the doors. The first night there, I went through the living room to check the front door and forgot to close the living room door. About 11pm or so my wife and I were startled awake by a loud slam. When we came into the dining room (all the bedroom doors were off the dining room) my grandmother came out of their bedroom. She smiled and said "Did you leave that door open? You know your granddaddy hates that."


We eventually talked her into moving into a nursing home in Mobile (85 miles away) next to my aunt's house so that she could help care for her while dad worked. One weekday she called me and asked if we would come visit her the coming weekend. It is a 400 mile drive, but we agreed. When we got there she was in much better spirits than normal and we had a wonderful visit. My aunt showed up, and we left to drive back to dad's. As we pulled into the driveway, my aunt called crying. My grandmother passed away a few minutes prior. She said that after we left granny started talking about it being time to go home now that she got to see everyone, and that Pop was waiting for us to get home before he came to pick her up. My aunt told her that Pop had passed four years prior, and she smiled and told my aunt that he just got there to pick her up. She passed right after.


In 2009 (a few weeks after my grandmother's passing), my mother (step mother) passed away with cancer. She battled cancer from 2007 until 2009. We went home to stay with her in her final week. She had been in a coma in a hospital bed in their bedroom for weeks. One morning she woke up, completely coherent and conscious. She talked with us, held our hands, and even tried to play with my youngest son. She told my dad that she had been waiting for all of the kids to come home before she left. Once we all got there, she let go and passed peacefully with us by her bedside.


After the funeral we all went back to dad's for a week to begin cleaning out the house. One evening I was sitting on the tailgate of my truck staring out across the yard at my grandparent's house when I saw someone in old farm clothes (like my grandpa's) walk out to the fence and prop up against it. This was a habit that he had every morning and evening. I jumped up and began walking down the driveway towards his house. I knew it was him and I broke into a run. I yelled Pop and he turned around and walked back towards the house. I heard a voice say "Everything's gonna be just fine." When I got across the road, the doors were still locked, power was off in the house, and there was no signs that anything had been moved.


Dad still lives there alone now, and he said that not only has he seen both my grandparents, he has seen my mother on numerous occasions. He remarried for a short time a few years later, but that wife said that she always got the feeling that someone was watching her in the home. After dad refused to move, she eventually packed up and left.


I don't know what all of this means, but it has taught me not to be skeptical of everything. I believe there are some things in life that just cannot be explained.
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Old 08-28-2017, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
3,635 posts, read 3,157,835 times
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Two awesome stories of love. Thanks to both of you for that.

I will say that I had a not very loving relationship with my own dad. My parents were divorced when I was less than 2 and mom got custody. She moved a couple hours drive away, and dad's visits went from once or twice a year to once every few years. So I never got close to him, and I always felt that he loved my older siblings and just didn't know me or particularly care about me. He would visit my brothers (once we were grown) and stay a couple days, he would visit with me for an hour or two, at brother's house and that was it. So we just never had much of a relationship.

When he was elderly he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and eventually he was in the memory care unit for several years. He and my step-mom lived more than a thousand miles away. I rarely even thought about him, unless my stepmom called or something. Even that was like a once a year thing. One night I had a very vivid dream, just before I woke up. It was so vivid that I told my husband about it. I dreamed that an old 1950's car drove up in front of my house while I was outside. I walked up to the driver's door and the window rolled down. It was my dad. He looked very serious and said "There's so much I want to tell you, but there's no time now". He rolled up the window and drove slowly away. I thought that so strange, as I said, I rarely even thought about him, much less dreamed about him.

Three days later my half brother's wife called to say that dad was in a coma with liver failure and was not expected to live out the week. Sure enough, he passed away a few days later. At that point I realized that the dream was dad saying good-bye and trying to offer some explanation for his un-fatherly conduct all those years. I wonder what he wanted to tell me. Part of me really wants to know. The other part says that I don't want to hear excuses for treating me like less than his other children. I'll just never know.
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Old Yesterday, 11:22 PM
 
453 posts, read 295,942 times
Reputation: 658
PartShadow

Well I'm really sorry about that... does it bring you a little comfort in knowing he apparently recognized what he did was wrong? I was in a long term dv relationship and have wondered at times if he never calls or writes a letter if one day when he's older or in his death bed if he'll regret not have made a real effort to go over some things
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Old Today, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
3,635 posts, read 3,157,835 times
Reputation: 11517
I guess not knowing what his explanation was still bothers me. I think I know his reason, and I've been looking into it. I've told my one brother of my thoughts, and he assures me that whatever I find, it won't affect any of us going forward. I think it will just settle my mind, but it could open all new questions. Sometimes I think I should just let it be. Why pick at scabs, right?
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