Living in the US vs. UK (health insurance, house, transfer)

[connie&dave]

I am an American living in the UK, my husband and I are forever comparing the lifestyle in the UK vs. the US and viceversa. I would really like to hear from people who have lived in both countries to get your opinion of the pros and cons of each country and which one you prefer, thanks for your thoughts!

[nativeDallasite]

Originally Posted by connie&dave

I am an American living in the UK, my husband and I are forever comparing the lifestyle in the UK vs. the US and viceversa. I would really like to hear from people who have lived in both countries to get your opinion of the pros and cons of each country and which one you prefer, thanks for your thoughts!

I am an American who lived in the UK for several years and I returned to the USA recently (this year). I HATED living in the UK; the first year or two I really tried to make it work but I just couldn't stand it. The standard of living is lower, the NHS is a joke, ambition doesn't seem to count for anything, and I was tired of making no money and having to spend a bloody fortune on anything I wanted to buy.

The grass is greener in America...for sure...as long as you have health insurance!

[connie&dave]

I have been living in the UK for 11 months (forgot to mention that my husband is English). Before I moved here I had visited many times and absolutely loved it: London -great restaurants, theatre, vibe, the English countryside - gorgeous, the trains - convenient and fun, the country pubs so charming, English humor-charmingly self deprecating and cynical-I totally get it! That said, I find LIVING here is another story completely. It's just not as practical as the US, its hard to adapt to the constant grey/rainy weather, services are nowhere near the US standard, and above all the lack of warmth and friendliness -I feel that the English have this lack of trust almost like they have to get to know you for years before they are friendly and forthcoming which doesn't help foreigners to feel part of the community and makes finding new friends very difficult-I am very friendly and outgoing and I find that intimidates many people here. Like NativeDallasite I am starting to really HATE this place and I find myself thinking about returning home to the US all the time.

I read somewhere that living in the UK/Europe is like living in a museum and I find that so true. Gorgeous place to visit but don't want to live here anymore! Now just have to convince the hubby to leave this beautiful countryside and pubs...

[nativeDallasite]

Originally Posted by connie&dave

I have been living in the UK for 11 months (forgot to mention that my husband is English). Before I moved here I had visited many times and absolutely loved it: London -great restaurants, theatre, vibe, the English countryside - gorgeous, the trains - convenient and fun, the country pubs so charming, English humor-charmingly self deprecating and cynical-I totally get it! That said, I find LIVING here is another story completely. It's just not as practical as the US, its hard to adapt to the constant grey/rainy weather, services are nowhere near the US standard, and above all the lack of warmth and friendliness -I feel that the English have this lack of trust almost like they have to get to know you for years before they are friendly and forthcoming which doesn't help foreigners to feel part of the community and makes finding new friends very difficult-I am very friendly and outgoing and I find that intimidates many people here. Like NativeDallasite I am starting to really HATE this place and I find myself thinking about returning home to the US all the time.

I read somewhere that living in the UK/Europe is like living in a museum and I find that so true. Gorgeous place to visit but don't want to live here anymore! Now just have to convince the hubby to leave this beautiful countryside and pubs...

Word of warning...the move back to the United States was one of the major factors in the collapse of my marriage...I was married to an Englishman too. I think even if he'd wanted to move here, our marriage wouldn't have lasted...but me wanting to come back here precipitated the divorce for sure.

If he's not sure or doesn't want to come, y'all are going to have problems. You may be put in the same position I was, i.e. deciding between your country and your marriage. I chose my country and I do not regret my decision because I was not happy in the UK and never could be...and my marriage was very shaky anyway. In talking to other Americans married to Brits living in the UK, I found my situation was not at all unusual. The fact that you went there instead of him coming here says a lot.

[connie&dave]

If he's not sure or doesn't want to come, y'all are going to have problems. You may be put in the same position I was, i.e. deciding between your country and your marriage. I chose my country and I do not regret my decision because I was not happy in the UK and never could be...and my marriage was very shaky anyway. In talking to other Americans married to Brits living in the UK, I found my situation was not at all unusual. The fact that you went there instead of him coming here says a lot.[/quote]

Thanks for the advice, I decided to come here because like I mentioned before I loved it when I was a tourist and also because I have a sister who also married a brit and moved here, ironically she loves it here and would never even consider going back to the US. My husband loves California but also loves his country, a very tough call for us-I don't want him to resent living in the US the way I have come to resent life in the UK

[momma4]

Originally Posted by connie&dave

I have been living in the UK for 11 months (forgot to mention that my husband is English). Before I moved here I had visited many times and absolutely loved it: London -great restaurants, theatre, vibe, the English countryside - gorgeous, the trains - convenient and fun, the country pubs so charming, English humor-charmingly self deprecating and cynical-I totally get it! That said, I find LIVING here is another story completely. It's just not as practical as the US, its hard to adapt to the constant grey/rainy weather, services are nowhere near the US standard, and above all the lack of warmth and friendliness -I feel that the English have this lack of trust almost like they have to get to know you for years before they are friendly and forthcoming which doesn't help foreigners to feel part of the community and makes finding new friends very difficult-I am very friendly and outgoing and I find that intimidates many people here. Like NativeDallasite I am starting to really HATE this place and I find myself thinking about returning home to the US all the time.

I read somewhere that living in the UK/Europe is like living in a museum and I find that so true. Gorgeous place to visit but don't want to live here anymore! Now just have to convince the hubby to leave this beautiful countryside and pubs...

I know exactly what you're saying and as hard as I've tried to like it here I just don't. Originally from So Cal, we moved to New Zealand for 2 years (beautiful) and then to England. When we first moved here 12 years ago, I hated it but over time I got used to everything, made some good friends and learned alot of things, above all patience. But, at the end of the day, I'm tired of this place for all the reasons you and NativeDallasite mentioned. (Nevermind the weak dollar, it's killing me!)

Finally sold the house here and as soon as my youngest is finished A levels next year we're going back to the States. Still not quite sure where yet, but Colorado is #1 on my list. Anyway, I sure understand what you're going through and I wish you the best of luck!

[connie&dave]

Originally Posted by momma4

I know exactly what you're saying and as hard as I've tried to like it here I just don't. Originally from So Cal, we moved to New Zealand for 2 years (beautiful) and then to England. When we first moved here 12 years ago, I hated it but over time I got used to everything, made some good friends and learned alot of things, above all patience. But, at the end of the day, I'm tired of this place for all the reasons you and NativeDallasite mentioned. (Nevermind the weak dollar, it's killing me!)

Finally sold the house here and as soon as my youngest is finished A levels next year we're going back to the States. Still not quite sure where yet, but Colorado is #1 on my list. Anyway, I sure understand what you're going through and I wish you the best of luck!

Thank you Momma4- best of luck to you too
p.s. wow you've done well to live here for 12 years-I think I'd go mad if I had to stay here that long

[AnthonyB]

I am an American who grew up in the UK (Scotland) and lived there for 17 years and have now lived in the US for 10 years (work and family reasons for moving).

Both countries are very varied. There is little in common between the reserved people and forests of Maine, the laconic Californian coast, the bustling cities such as New York and Chicago, the hot slowness of Mississippi and a hundred points in between.

In the same way, the busy, impersonal metropolis that London is has little in common with a Welsh mining town or a Scottish fishing village that is home to generations of the same family.

Also remember that the UK is at a much higher latitude. So the summers have long days and in the winter they are very very short (especially in the far north). A change which would be particularly difficult for people from the South.

I have found that New Yorkers and Londoners transfer very well, people from Seattle would find the rain familiar and New Englanders would recognize the reserve.

Having said that if I have to generalize;

UK pros:
- Things are closer together and there is better public transportation (though not as good as the rest of Europe). I HATE having to drive everywhere which is typical of the US. I wish I could just walk to the corner store for some milk. More social and better excercise.
- Pubs. Long dark winter days mean that Brits know how to make a pub comfortable. And the beer is infinitely better.
- Less consumerism. Everything in the US revolves around shopping and spending money and collecting stuff ad nauseum.
- Better weather. Surprised? The UK weather is more temperate. Summers may be cool, but the winters aren't freezing, so you don't need AC and use the heating less than in much of the US. The dampness keeps dust to a minimum too.
- Sense of community. Once you are in, you are in. People move less than in the US (apart from London) so there is less turmoil with friends moving thousands of miles away constantly.
- Sense of history. Certainly in the North, especially Scotland, the families have lived there for hundreds of years. There is real continuity, and real traditions, although globalization is wearing that down.
- Being closer to the rest of the world. The UK seems less detached than the US.
- Education system. I loved the fact that it is standardized. Makes moving kids through school much easier.
- Socialist aspects -I LIKE the NHS (of course in Scotland it is not as overextended as in England). Having had to exist without insurance here for a while, with all of the attendant stress and unexpected expenses, I will not trash universal health. In this state private insurance for a family of 4 runs around $2000 a month. Ridiculous.
- Free museums and art galleries.
- Technology. I've actually found the UK to be ahead of the US with things like ATM's and internet broadband, which I find to be bizarre. I read it was due to the size of the US and lack of national regulation.
- Like the fact that the UK is better on things like family leave. Also much better vacations, Americans work themselves to death.

US pros:

- I like the convenience of 24 hour shopping. Not family friendly though.
- Societal variety. There are so many little communities based on religions/ethnicity it is both interesting and nice in that people can follow cultural traditions. There is also a wealth of foreign food.
- Size. Within one country you have huge variety. You can live in the mountains, the desert, on the beach, on a ranch or in the city. The choices are numerous.
- People are pretty open and generous.
- Sense of being able to do anything. There is a wealth of possiblilies. On one side it is a bit of a jungle, and yet that also allows people to go out on a limb and extend themselves.
- Lack of birth based class system. The class system here is money based but at least it is egalitarian.

I'm sure I'll think of more. I definitely miss the UK. It just has that intangible feel of home, which is so much more than what you can put on paper. Of course I grew up in Scotland, which is very very different to England, smaller, friendlier and a lot less crowded.

[AnthonyB]

Forgot-
US has Alligators, Mosquitoes, Tarantulas, Scorpions, Fire Ants, Black Widows, Numerous Poisonous Snakes, Centipedes, Black Biting Flies, Poison Ivy and a huge variety of other nasty poisonous and unpleasant critters and plants to avoid.

UK has the Adder, which few have ever seen. Midges in the north and stinging nettles. Kids can play in the grass without coming home covered in ticks, my dog never once got fleas and I wasn't worried about catching rabies from squirrels and bats.

In buggy terms the UK wins.

[glxyman21]

I've lived in in Italy, U.S. and now the U.K., most my life was spent in the north east U.S. Both places have their pros and cons..but the U.S. is so large that living in Florida vs. Montana Vs. New Mexico, Vs. Maine are all very different experiences.

I find the people here in the UK to be quite friendly and not as reserved as people in Connecticut where I lived.

I would not claim the standard of living in the U.K. is lower, as the U.S. and Canada along with Western Europe are fully developed and have high standards of living.

One of the major differences is transportation and the "walkability" of places..here, most of everything is designed with the pedestrian in mind, where in the U.S. some things are just purely lacking. Where I lived in Connecticut there was no bus, train, or taxi to take you anywhere. I enjoy having shops and things so close by, where before I would have to drive 10/15 minutes to get somewhere.

The food has labels which are actually legible and you know what is inside, but due to the lack of all the "extras" that are put into U.S. food, shelf life isn't as long here

You will not get a bang for your buck, or rather "quid" here while dinning out. Portions are smaller than in the U.S...but you have to think of it as your portion of meal, not whats left to take home, but it stops you from over eating.

Some things I found to be more expensive here, some cheaper, and others the same. Tax, or the VAT is 17%, but this is already figured into the price, so the price on the label is exactly what you pay. For the most part I found things equal to what I was paying in CT. A pint of beer here is about $5 U.S. While in CT I would pay about $6 and a dollar tip (standard rates, not talking about promos or "happy hour")

Gas is a lot more expensive, but cars are a lot more fuel efficient.

Weather is a personal matter, and this varries across the whole U.S. It hasn't rained here the past 4 days and has been sunny as well.

NHS will not give you antibiotics as easily as they don't want people to become immune to them. If you're really sick they will give you some.

Cell phone service is a lot cheaper and a lot more competiive. You don't get charged for anything incoming.

Things are a lot more efficient, my hotwater/electricity bill are nothing. The hot water heats water as its flowing through the pipe when needed. Electricity rates in CT though were just outrageous.


Most these things can be applied to the rest of western Europe, with slight differences in culture, etc.

Things I do miss are:

24 hour stores (though some ASDA/Walmarts are open 24 hours)
Banks that are open a bit later
The privacy! there are cameras recording everything here..but I don't really notice them.
I live in a big city, so the grocery stores are always a bit croweded and seem more rush like.
I don't like the fumes of diesel engines much
sometimes the quietness of the suburbs was nice
The abundence of trees
A larger washer/dryer and probably a fridge. they're smaller here, but larger ones are available if you want to pay a little more