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View Poll Results: Which lifestyle tends to make you feel most lonely?
Small town 15 20.83%
Suburbs 37 51.39%
Big city 20 27.78%
Voters: 72. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-01-2013, 09:35 PM
 
Location: M I N N E S O T A
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If you are seeking loneliness it can be done in any of these, if you fear loneliness i would high tail it to the big city.
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Old 04-02-2013, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
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All of the above.

None of the above.

Sometimes.

It depends.
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Old 04-02-2013, 09:08 AM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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They can all be lonely or not. It depends on how outgoing you are and the networks you form.
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Old 04-02-2013, 09:32 AM
 
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I say rural,only because if you didn't grow up in the area,people treat you like an outsider.
That's my experience though.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:31 AM
 
Location: IL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post
This interesting story out recently:
Are London's Public Buses the New Prozac? - John Metcalfe - The Atlantic Cities

I can relate. I like big urban cities because it IS easier to have lots of interactions with people. Those random interactions aren't a replacement for actual relationships, but it DOES make me feel more connected. I have found it more difficult to experience those sorts of interactions in a quieter, more suburban in form neighborhood, in part just because there are simply fewer people out on the street, and fewer people at the bus stop. I really do better in a more bustling neighborhood because that activity -- informal and whenever you step outside your door or look out the window -- makes me feel less lonely. I know that those same neighborhoods can make others feel drained or exhausted, while for me, those quiet neighborhoods, however nice the neighbors and however many block parties they may have, leave me feeling more isolated and lonely.
My problem when I first moved to a big city was seeing a lot of people doing stuff, talking, laughing and knowing I didn't know anyone. That is why it made me feel even more lonely. I felt less lonely hiking alone in the mountains than sitting alone in a restaurant full of people.
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Old 04-02-2013, 12:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
This is bound to be subjective, and varies a lot depending on the specific location we're talking about, but according to you, do you find life in a typical rural small town, suburbia or the inner city or a major urban area the 'loneliest', in terms of social disconnect, lack of sense of a community, a general feeling isolation?

For me I'd say if you live alone all can be equally lonely, but I actually find the suburban lifestyle can be incredibly lonely even if you do live with others. People seem closed off in their own domiciles - their castles - and most suburbs don't have much of the same sense of community as a small city. While you can feel lonely in busy cities, it's easier for random encounters or just to go down to a bar and meet people to talk to etc.
I've never really lived in a suburb. I've lived in small towns. People are friendly in small towns. Big cities are more varied. You can meet different types of people in big cities.

My loneliness is a problem that I could easily solve. All it was for me is a matter of noticing others. I'm just fortunate in that way. I just have a slight insecurity problem to work on.
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Old 04-02-2013, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
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I grew up in a Midwestern suburb and I would mark that kind of life as being the most lonely. After 18 years in the burbs I still didn't know the neighbors' names. The routine for my neighborhood was: stay in your house all the time, get in your car, drive to school/work, drive back home, go back inside. The reliance on driving is really what made it so isolating. There's not much chance to bump into someone you know or make new connections in public spaces when you're in your car all the time.

I prefer the extremes: either a bustling city with public transportation and dense neighborhoods, or my own property out in the boonies with woods, fields and running water where I can do whatever the hell I want. Mixing it up in an urban social scene and shooting cans off your back porch are equally fun in different ways, but suburbs just offer the worst of both worlds: social isolation, without the freedom of rural land ownership.
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Old 04-02-2013, 07:23 PM
 
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Being retired and not participating in activity. Waking up with no plans except watching TV, never leaving the house except for shopping and doctor visits. Can happen anywhere but more likely in suburbs.
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Old 04-02-2013, 07:28 PM
Status: "Summer!" (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pvande55 View Post
Being retired and not participating in activity. Waking up with no plans except watching TV, never leaving the house except for shopping and doctor visits. Can happen anywhere but more likely in suburbs.
I don't know why that lifestyle would be more likely in the suburbs. "The city" generally has more renters and more transients.
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Old 04-02-2013, 07:48 PM
 
Location: North by Northwest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
I don't know why that lifestyle would be more likely in the suburbs. "The city" generally has more renters and more transients.
This. Also, if you're an empty nester living in/around other empty nesters (hardly uncommon in the suburbs), you have plenty of opportunities for social interaction. It's if/when your friends move away that things start to get difficult. That's the point one branch of my family high-tailed it to a 55+ community.
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