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View Poll Results: Which lifestyle tends to make you feel most lonely?
Small town 15 20.83%
Suburbs 37 51.39%
Big city 20 27.78%
Voters: 72. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-02-2013, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Ypsilanti
389 posts, read 403,076 times
Reputation: 199

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeavenWood View Post
This. Also, if you're an empty nester living in/around other empty nesters (hardly uncommon in the suburbs), you have plenty of opportunities for social interaction. It's if/when your friends move away that things start to get difficult. That's the point one branch of my family high-tailed it to a 55+ community.
In the suburbs a lot of people stay inside or in a car in my experience, also when I plan things with friends in suburbs it's like a few days notice you know, much slower pace. In Chicago or NYC, I met people everyday or night, when things got planned there people were like come here tonite or tomorrow. Plus some nights I had my friend with me to show me around.

My friend took me to his friends place in Red Bank, New Jersey. It was a very nice small town, Bruce Springsteen and Jon Stewart have homes there as well. For a small town it packed a lot of punch, pretty vibrant and walkable. It'd be hard to be lonely.

Another day I was in Jersey City, I was amazed to actually see people outside and using the basketball court, so I head on over play for a while... Skip the details, after the game one of the dudes ask me some questions, lil bit of small talk and he introduces me to the near ten other dudes he knew at the court. The rest of the day hung out with them, got a tour of the area, and met more people my age.

At least in my experience it is a lot easier to be lonely in suburbs, most people just aren't outside or you have to drive to everything.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:35 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles, CA
2,935 posts, read 3,674,266 times
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I agree that the suburban lifestyle best lends itself to loneliness, but I'm pretty sure that the one with the highest ratio of lonely people is actually cities. Fewer kids and people tend to be more transient.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:39 PM
 
Location: North by Northwest
7,442 posts, read 9,951,921 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weteath View Post
In the suburbs a lot of people stay inside or in a car in my experience, also when I plan things with friends in suburbs it's like a few days notice you know, much slower pace. In Chicago or NYC, I met people everyday or night, when things got planned there people were like come here tonite or tomorrow. Plus some nights I had my friend with me to show me around.

My friend took me to his friends place in Red Bank, New Jersey. It was a very nice small town, Bruce Springsteen and Jon Stewart have homes there as well. For a small town it packed a lot of punch, pretty vibrant and walkable. It'd be hard to be lonely.

Another day I was in Jersey City, I was amazed to actually see people outside and using the basketball court, so I head on over play for a while... Skip the details, after the game one of the dudes ask me some questions, lil bit of small talk and he introduces me to the near ten other dudes he knew at the court. The rest of the day hung out with them, got a tour of the area, and met more people my age.

At least in my experience it is a lot easier to be lonely in suburbs, most people just aren't outside or you have to drive to everything.
You're speaking in broad brushstrokes. Where is and is not "lonely" will depend greatly on what stage of life you are in relative to most of the people in your surroundings. An elderly person living in an overwhelmingly young, transient city neighborhood will probably feel a lot more lonely than someone of a similar age living in even the most "soulless and sprawling" auto-centric suburb if their neighborhood is chuck full of other retirees.

A young, single person, I couldn't agree more that the suburbs are not currently the place for me. But again, not everyone is young and single.
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Old 04-02-2013, 11:33 PM
 
3,836 posts, read 4,742,394 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeavenWood View Post
You're speaking in broad brushstrokes. Where is and is not "lonely" will depend greatly on what stage of life you are in relative to most of the people in your surroundings. An elderly person living in an overwhelmingly young, transient city neighborhood will probably feel a lot more lonely than someone of a similar age living in even the most "soulless and sprawling" auto-centric suburb if their neighborhood is chuck full of other retirees.

A young, single person, I couldn't agree more that the suburbs are not currently the place for me. But again, not everyone is young and single.
Why does someone have to be young and single to enjoy cities? I'm not young and I'm not single and I'd rather cut myself and bathe in brine water than live in a suburb. Truly a bizarre point of view that somehow the charms of city life can only be appreciated by young singles.
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Old 04-02-2013, 11:37 PM
 
3,836 posts, read 4,742,394 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Easy View Post
I agree that the suburban lifestyle best lends itself to loneliness, but I'm pretty sure that the one with the highest ratio of lonely people is actually cities. Fewer kids and people tend to be more transient.
I highly doubt this. Cities have high concentrations of people and tons of opportunities to meeteople right outside your front door. Suburbs are by design isolating and remote.
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Old 04-03-2013, 12:17 AM
 
Location: North by Northwest
7,442 posts, read 9,951,921 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komeht View Post
Why does someone have to be young and single to enjoy cities? I'm not young and I'm not single and I'd rather cut myself and bathe in brine water than live in a suburb. Truly a bizarre point of view that somehow the charms of city life can only be appreciated by young singles.
Please show me where I said someone has to be young and single to enjoy cities?
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Old 04-03-2013, 05:45 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 6,022,863 times
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I chose suburbia...a suburban apartment complex (the worst place to live for confirmed urbanites) because of anonymity. It's the perfect place if you do not want to interact with people and prefer being alone and apart from ones neighbors.

I think living in a big multi-unit building in Chicago, NYC, or some such place would be equivilant, but here in my part of the country suburban apartments are the equivilant of 'urban alientation'.
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,184 posts, read 103,165,018 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komeht View Post
I highly doubt this. Cities have high concentrations of people and tons of opportunities to meeteople right outside your front door. Suburbs are by design isolating and remote.
When I read stuff like this, I have to wonder if the poster has ever been lived in a suburb, or the city for that matter. You're not real likely to meet people at the Art Museum, or the theater where you go to see a show. People go to these things with friends and they're not looking to meet others there. There may be a group at the local watering hole, but sometimes you don't even know their names.
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Old 04-03-2013, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Ypsilanti
389 posts, read 403,076 times
Reputation: 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
When I read stuff like this, I have to wonder if the poster has ever been lived in a suburb, or the city for that matter. You're not real likely to meet people at the Art Museum, or the theater where you go to see a show. People go to these things with friends and they're not looking to meet others there. There may be a group at the local watering hole, but sometimes you don't even know their names.
Have you seen my post? I've met people just being out in a city, I don't know what Denver is like, but I gave a NYC example and small town Jersey example with Red Bank.

I live in suburbs, nobody is out walking so how do you meet somebody new? Surely not while grocery shopping, not while spending time driving everywhere or in the big home.

I don't know of people going to art galleries anywhere to meet people, and there was much more to do in Chi or NYC than go to a gallery or theater, I say that because bars, galleries, and theater's aren't the only reason to live in a city. You really are just a step outside from meeting someone.

In regards to the local watering hole comment, I don't need to know everyone's name, you either meet people or you don't.

I know everyone isn't young and single, but everyone isn't old and married either. City life isn't just for young singles either.
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Old 04-03-2013, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,184 posts, read 103,165,018 times
Reputation: 33246
Quote:
Originally Posted by weteath View Post
Have you seen my post? I've met people just being out in a city, I don't know what Denver is like, but I gave a NYC example and small town Jersey example with Red Bank.

I live in suburbs, nobody is out walking so how do you meet somebody new? Surely not while grocery shopping, not while spending time driving everywhere or in the big home.

I don't know of people going to art galleries anywhere to meet people, and there was much more to do in Chi or NYC than go to a gallery or theater, I say that because bars, galleries, and theater's aren't the only reason to live in a city. You really are just a step outside from meeting someone.

In regards to the local watering hole comment, I don't need to know everyone's name, you either meet people or you don't.

I know everyone isn't young and single, but everyone isn't old and married either. City life isn't just for young singles either.
I've read most of your posts. Did these people you met in Chicago become close friends? Do you still keep in touch with them?

It's not much of a friendship if you don't know the person's name.

And what's this snark about "the big home". There are many small homes in the burbs, and many large ones in the city.
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