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View Poll Results: Which lifestyle tends to make you feel most lonely?
Small town 15 20.83%
Suburbs 37 51.39%
Big city 20 27.78%
Voters: 72. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-03-2013, 04:04 PM
Status: "Summer!" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,035 posts, read 102,723,474 times
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Originally Posted by nei View Post
Interesting and rather different than what I expected. Not used to so much overlap.
As I have been saying until I turn blue in the face!
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:05 AM
bg7
 
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The only people whose vote counts here are those that have lived in all three oprions. Everyone else is projecting thier biases and dogma!
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:14 AM
 
Location: North Baltimore ----> Seattle
6,473 posts, read 11,115,006 times
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I've lived all three. Of the three I found suburbs to be most lonely. There's still too many variables to draw any real conclusions beyond my own preferences, though.
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Old 04-04-2013, 10:58 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,464,371 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bg7 View Post
The only people whose vote counts here are those that have lived in all three oprions. Everyone else is projecting thier biases and dogma!
That's a good point. Even then, a truly 'scientific' comparison is impossible as people will have lived in each at different times in their lives, and every suburb/city/town is different.
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Old 04-04-2013, 11:00 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weteath View Post
In the suburbs a lot of people stay inside or in a car in my experience, also when I plan things with friends in suburbs it's like a few days notice you know, much slower pace. In Chicago or NYC, I met people everyday or night, when things got planned there people were like come here tonite or tomorrow. Plus some nights I had my friend with me to show me around.

My friend took me to his friends place in Red Bank, New Jersey. It was a very nice small town, Bruce Springsteen and Jon Stewart have homes there as well. For a small town it packed a lot of punch, pretty vibrant and walkable. It'd be hard to be lonely.

Another day I was in Jersey City, I was amazed to actually see people outside and using the basketball court, so I head on over play for a while... Skip the details, after the game one of the dudes ask me some questions, lil bit of small talk and he introduces me to the near ten other dudes he knew at the court. The rest of the day hung out with them, got a tour of the area, and met more people my age.

At least in my experience it is a lot easier to be lonely in suburbs, most people just aren't outside or you have to drive to everything.
Good point. The suburbs can feel so empty because there aren't that many people walking around, so just fewer opportunities to meet people. And these days it seems less acceptable to strike up friendships with your neighbours (people more private and suspicious).
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:05 PM
Status: "Summer!" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,035 posts, read 102,723,474 times
Reputation: 33083
Quote:
Originally Posted by bg7 View Post
The only people whose vote counts here are those that have lived in all three oprions. Everyone else is projecting thier biases and dogma!
Too true! I've lived in all three. Of the three, I'd say the cities (2) and the rural area were more "lonely" in the sense of not knowing neighbors and the like. However, when I lived in a rural area, I was working full-time in "town" (Champaign, IL) so I didn't really have time to meet many people. In the suburbs, I have usually met almost all of my neighbors and become friends with some.
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:21 PM
 
Location: M I N N E S O T A
14,800 posts, read 17,738,106 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
Too true! I've lived in all three. Of the three, I'd say the cities (2) and the rural area were more "lonely" in the sense of not knowing neighbors and the like. However, when I lived in a rural area, I was working full-time in "town" (Champaign, IL) so I didn't really have time to meet many people. In the suburbs, I have usually met almost all of my neighbors and become friends with some.
Same, i grew up in a suburb and lived on a cul-de-sac and everyone knew eachother, the plows pushed snow to the middle of the cul-de-sac so the kids would all go out and build a snow fort, one house even had a ice rink in the back yard. during summer we all hung out beside the neighbors pool.

4th of July's were the best; bbq, fireworks and our city had a parade that we all went to.

Really miss that place....
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:31 PM
Status: "Summer!" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,035 posts, read 102,723,474 times
Reputation: 33083
Quote:
Originally Posted by iNviNciBL3 View Post
Same, i grew up in a suburb and lived on a cul-de-sac and everyone knew eachother, the plows pushed snow to the middle of the cul-de-sac so the kids would all go out and build a snow fort, one house even had a ice rink in the back yard. during summer we all hung out beside the neighbors pool.

4th of July's were the best; bbq, fireworks and our city had a parade that we all went to.

Really miss that place....
Sounds like my city! We are the ones that used to have an ice rink in the back yard, and we have an above ground pool.
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Old 04-04-2013, 08:04 PM
 
Location: North Baltimore ----> Seattle
6,473 posts, read 11,115,006 times
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Since we're getting personal, the suburb where I lived growing up was far more insular than the small towns or cities in which I lived in the years since. Moving on my own to a small town 6 hours away, to an entire different culture, at 19, I thought I would face isolation, but it was quite the opposite. It's been many years since I lived in a suburb ... I make friends everywhere I go, but I imagine being a childless 30 something could get lonely there. I've always found more meaningful social interactions elsewhere.
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Old 04-05-2013, 06:56 PM
 
10,630 posts, read 23,437,579 times
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I hate to divide things along artificial "suburb" versus "city" lines, but the more "suburban" (in form, although it is within city boundaries) is the most lonely area I've lived. I know all the neighbors and you couldn't ask for nicer, but with most people making most of their trips by car there just isn't any energy on the streets. I think you can make friends anywhere, but it's those random, step-outside-your-door and feel part of some actual life, that, to me, makes the difference between feeling lonely and isolated and feeling energized. Hustle and bustle right there on your block and in your immediate neighborhood -- to me -- makes me feel more connected to the community as a whole, even if I don't know everyone.

In any case, I think personal preference matters a great deal here. People here clearly have different responses to experiencing different neighborhoods. What makes one person lonely might feel the ultimate in comfortable to another. For me, I don't care how many block parties or ice rinks a block has (mine has had both) -- it still feels isolating and lonely if I can't step outside of my door and see many people out walking around.
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