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View Poll Results: Which lifestyle tends to make you feel most lonely?
Small town 15 20.83%
Suburbs 37 51.39%
Big city 20 27.78%
Voters: 72. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-05-2013, 10:41 PM
 
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Pretty telling that suburbs are in the lead more than cities and small towns combined.
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Old 04-06-2013, 05:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komeht View Post
Pretty telling that suburbs are in the lead more than cities and small towns combined.
Yes, it's a truly shocking result of an OPINION poll on the Urban Planning Forum.
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:00 AM
Status: "Summer!" (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
86,988 posts, read 102,554,590 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UNC4Me View Post
Yes, it's a truly shocking result of an OPINION poll on the Urban Planning Forum.
What she said!

An urban planning forum where most posters prefer cities and some abhor the suburbs, so they would be sure to post. And I guess I have a different definition of "lonely" than some others. I think being lonely involves not having close friends to do things with, not whether you can walk outside and see a bunch of people and buses (but G*d knows, not cars) running around.
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:55 AM
 
Location: california
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My closests friends in in the country.
my most distant acquaintences are in the city.
the middle ground is a blend I find ,that some feel secure in anonimity in all conditions of living .
Loneliness has to do with one's own security; peace with in them self.
Being alone in a fractured relationship is extreemly lonely because there is no peace no security, not knowing how to deal with the conflict. Like a form of torture as it were.
Living alone, and having adjusted ,one can find greater security not having to defend one's self comming to their own home. it is become a welcome place.
If dishes are not done I am the only one whom cares, and when the job is done, I need no congradulations, it's just done.
I have my meals when I have finished what I am doing ,at the moment and if there is an emergency, I can drop things and move on it, to give my full attention, and stay with it till it is done.
Some projects take my whole consintration, like wiring electronics.
So not having some one demanding an answer conserning some other issue (not an emergency), is quite peaceful and relaxing even though the job it's self is deeply involved.
Recently there is some one renting a room in my place but my rules stand firm ,my time is my own and so is theirs , we are friends but there is no emotional attachment . No hanky panky either .
I like my current life style , alone and secure but not lonely.
Of course I have 16 chickens,2 geese,2 dogs some friendly wild rabbits and birds and a few nice neigbors with critters too..
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by UNC4Me View Post
Yes, it's a truly shocking result of an OPINION poll on the Urban Planning Forum.
Yes, your point is notable because of course, no one plans suburbs, they just happen.
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Old 04-06-2013, 09:46 AM
 
10,630 posts, read 23,410,475 times
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Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
What she said!

An urban planning forum where most posters prefer cities and some abhor the suburbs, so they would be sure to post. And I guess I have a different definition of "lonely" than some others. I think being lonely involves not having close friends to do things with, not whether you can walk outside and see a bunch of people and buses (but G*d knows, not cars) running around.
I didn't say anything about buses or cars (unless you're referencing the study about buses helping loneliness in London -- in which case it wasn't the act of seeing the buses, but rather that riding buses is in itself a communal experience, unlike getting by oneself into a car).

And yes, obviously people do have different definitions and experiences of loneliness. Clearly not having friends is one aspect. I think you can find friends anywhere. But from the perspective of urban planning -- which is the focus of this forum -- I think that there is clearly a difference between neighborhoods where you have a lot of people out on the streets and interacting via foot, and one in which people get into their cars and drive places. That clearly doesn't make a difference for some people, and for others being in the busier environment actually makes them more lonely. But for me, it's those little, unplanned interactions that keep me from feeling lonely. That's a big part of why auto-centric quiet neighborhoods (note I am not saying "suburbs") hold so little appeal to me -- they feel isolating and boring, no matter how nice the neighbors are. And yes, I "abhor" those neighborhoods because, for me, they make me depressed. Just how others "abhor", say, any number of very busy, very urban neighborhoods. There are reasons why different types of neighborhoods appeal to different people, and why one person can absolutely love a location while another person can't wait to move.
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Old 04-08-2013, 02:58 PM
bg7
 
7,697 posts, read 8,163,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komeht View Post
Yes, your point is notable because of course, no one plans suburbs, they just happen.
Mine sure did just happen, started off as a village in the 1670's. Organically developed into a suburb after they put the rail line through in the 1800's.

I think people confuse the business of people around you in the city with a notion of interactivity. In fact, having lived in two big citys for many years (London and then NYC), where I now live in an NYC suburb is much more community-minded and interpersonal. The cities were more competitive and, unfortunately, antagonistic. A lot of people competing for space and "resources" in their many forms, whether it be a seat on the subway, a slot in the schools, at the queues all over, views, on the dance floor!. The energy can be a buzz, but there is more individual isolation, with less warmth, less actual human interaction, more crowd behavior.

Like I said, no-one should be voting here unless they've lived in all three, otherwise they are voting based on preconceived notions. In that sense - it is "pretty telling" - ie people just voting along party lines. zzzzzz same old same old
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Old 04-08-2013, 03:07 PM
bg7
 
7,697 posts, read 8,163,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post
I didn't say anything about buses or cars (unless you're referencing the study about buses helping loneliness in London -- in which case it wasn't the act of seeing the buses, but rather that riding buses is in itself a communal experience, unlike getting by oneself into a car).

And yes, obviously people do have different definitions and experiences of loneliness. Clearly not having friends is one aspect. I think you can find friends anywhere. But from the perspective of urban planning -- which is the focus of this forum -- I think that there is clearly a difference between neighborhoods where you have a lot of people out on the streets and interacting via foot, and one in which people get into their cars and drive places. That clearly doesn't make a difference for some people, and for others being in the busier environment actually makes them more lonely. But for me, it's those little, unplanned interactions that keep me from feeling lonely. That's a big part of why auto-centric quiet neighborhoods (note I am not saying "suburbs") hold so little appeal to me -- they feel isolating and boring, no matter how nice the neighbors are. And yes, I "abhor" those neighborhoods because, for me, they make me depressed. Just how others "abhor", say, any number of very busy, very urban neighborhoods. There are reasons why different types of neighborhoods appeal to different people, and why one person can absolutely love a location while another person can't wait to move.
Yes auto-centric neigborhoods - good distinction.
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Old 04-08-2013, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Ypsilanti
389 posts, read 400,417 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bg7 View Post
Mine sure did just happen, started off as a village in the 1670's. Organically developed into a suburb after they put the rail line through in the 1800's.

I think people confuse the business of people around you in the city with a notion of interactivity. In fact, having lived in two big citys for many years (London and then NYC), where I now live in an NYC suburb is much more community-minded and interpersonal. The cities were more competitive and, unfortunately, antagonistic. A lot of people competing for space and "resources" in their many forms, whether it be a seat on the subway, a slot in the schools, at the queues all over, views, on the dance floor!. The energy can be a buzz, but there is more individual isolation, with less warmth, less actual human interaction, more crowd behavior.

Like I said, no-one should be voting here unless they've lived in all three, otherwise they are voting based on preconceived notions. In that sense - it is "pretty telling" - ie people just voting along party lines. zzzzzz same old same old
I would disagree with there being more social isolation and less community-minded in a big city from my experience.
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Old 04-08-2013, 08:36 PM
Status: "Summer!" (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
86,988 posts, read 102,554,590 times
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Originally Posted by weteath View Post
I would disagree with there being more social isolation and less community-minded in a big city from my experience.
Please tell us your experience with living in a city.
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