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Well, she's crazy, no offense. I don't think the guy next door IS a Tea-Partier (unlike many other neighbors of various political persuasions, he's never put up a yard sign), but so what?
I know what you mean, but I do think this is a generational shift thing. Younger people generally do not want to live in neighborhoods with people who think differently from them, particularly regarding politics. Which is especially ironic, considering the chances of actually having a political conversation with neighbors these days is astonishingly low.
I am one of those guys that can fix just about anything and have all the tools. My neighbors are all to lazy to even shut off the porch light in the morning so whenever they needed something, they use to ask me. When I told one neighbor that wanted to borrow a pole saw to trim a branch I said you're probably going to have to trim them several times over the years so why don't you go buy a pole saw like I did and then you'll have it handy whenever you need it ? End of his borrowing. When they want to borrow a tool, I say "give me a deposit for whatever the tool costs so if you break it, I can buy a new one", that usually ends the conversation. Neighbors, like relatives are a unwanted necessity.
Well, it does resonate with me. I am casual acquaintances with many of my nearest neighbors (I've lived here for seven years), and know the names of most of them, but I can't say besides a 5-10 minute chat (okay, longer for the retirees) I've ever did anything with any of them. Even the other parents of small children don't seem very keen when I suggest play dates.
The part about how we are segregating into neighborhoods of like-minded people, but increasingly have nothing to do with our neighbors in particular seems apt.
The article referred to maintaining social networks with like-minded people not segregation into neighborhoods of like-minded people.
The latter comment in fact sounds like the [false] arguments used to claim people are "like-minded" because they have the same restrictive covenants burdening their property and their neighbors' properties - none of whom had any say in them and were only looking for housing. Moving from one house to another doesn't make one a member of a new tribe of "like-minded" individuals. The communitarians completely ignore the individual in pursuit of "community". Limiting housing to condos and subdivisions heavily burdened with restrictive covenants does not create "communities of like-minded people". Curiously the article linked to "Condo hell" as a related article.
Other than the way houses were developed in suburban communities in the post war era, I think the biggest contributor to this is the change in parenting styles and childhood experiences.
Up until a generation or so ago, unless you lived way out in the country, as a kid you played with the other kids in your neighborhood. That was your primary recreation on a daily basis. Even if they were a little older or younger, bigger or smaller, boys or girls, they became your playmates. That is certainly how I grew up.
Nowadays, in the era of soccer moms, helicopter parents and "activities," this has changed for most middle class and affluent kids. Their days and evenings are structured with practices, performances and games away from home and often far away from their neighborhood. When I first heard moms and dads complaining about being non-stop chauffeurs for their kids, I thought they were exaggerating. However, overloading a kids schedule seems to be the rule rather than the exception.
As a result, kids don't just go out and play. The millennials and border line gen xers were probably the first to grow up in this way in large numbers. As adults, even if they live in dense neighborhoods, they are probably less likely to take the time to get to know the people around them. Instead, they are plugged into there iEverythings and talk (or text or facebook or twitter) to people that they think are true peers, whether they live across town or across the world. In a way this is pretty consistent with how many of them were raised.
My guess would be that you in the not to distant future, you will see a bit of a revolt against this. Most things tend to ebb and flow overtime. This will probably be no exception.
Last edited by MidwestRedux; 08-20-2014 at 09:49 AM..
Reason: note to self: edit THEN post
If you look at older neighborhoods the homes have garages that are either absent, unattached or. at best attached one-car units.
Nowadays, especially in CA, they build 3-car attached units as a minimum in upscale developments.
My point is that I think the correlation is telling.
With ubiquitous door-to-door personal transport we shield ourselves from many opportunities to inter-relate.
With mega-media of global extent we hear of lawsuits and horror stories that sear into our minds, if only indirectly, the need to NOT GET INVOLVED.
Can you blame anyone for minding their own business and staying comfortably distant?
It is a terrible price to pay but I understand why it has happened.
And if you are or were an "outsider" - like being gay in a less than supportive neighborhood - you withdrew even further to avoid being hurt.
Thankfully that is less of an issue, but the other conditions more than compensate. Now people play it safe, stay cool, and "neighbors" as we knew them dissappear.
When I was growing up all the kids in my suburban neighborhood knew each other fairly well because we played outside all the time, but I noticed the grownups and parents in the neighborhood interacted with other very little, or not at all. And this was just before the internet and smartphones started to explode. These days, I don't think even the kids play with each other anymore, or not that much. They prefer to play with their iPhones and Xboxes, and surf the internet all day long.
If you look at older neighborhoods the homes have garages that are either absent, unattached or. at best attached one-car units.
Nowadays, especially in CA, they build 3-car attached units as a minimum in upscale developments.
My point is that I think the correlation is telling.
With ubiquitous door-to-door personal transport we shield ourselves from many opportunities to inter-relate.
With mega-media of global extent we hear of lawsuits and horror stories that sear into our minds, if only indirectly, the need to NOT GET INVOLVED.
Can you blame anyone for minding their own business and staying comfortably distant?
It is a terrible price to pay but I understand why it has happened.
And if you are or were an "outsider" - like being gay in a less than supportive neighborhood - you withdrew even further to avoid being hurt.
Thankfully that is less of an issue, but the other conditions more than compensate. Now people play it safe, stay cool, and "neighbors" as we knew them dissappear.
I don't see the big deal about this. Neighbors are not our friends or family, most of the time. I understand being cordial, but why should we be forced to engage with strangers. I live in a rowhouse between two families, neither of which I speak to. Does it bother them or ruin thier day? No. They have thier lives and I have mine. Simple as that.
You can go elsewhere to connect and socialize. You do not have to speak with your neighbors. What damaging society is people being inconsiderate towards one another, not refusing to speak to a neighbor next door. We all have access to get from point A to point B where we can socialize. People can connect at their workplace, at a bar, a concert, sporting event, the mall, grocery store, etc. People may have friends who lives 30 minutes away and go visit them. It does not have to be at home.
I think there is increasingly less that people have in common other than proximity. Most people don't work or have businesses in the same town where they live, and are largely car-dependent, so can drive into their remote-controlled garage and go into the house unseen and un-talking.
I've lived in a nice town for 22 years. I've worked third shift, am not from this town and never had kids in the schools, plus my house is off the road on a private lane in the woods. I am never outside when others are, walking, or working on my yard or something. I wave to people but wouldn't know their names if it weren't for the contractor who built my house living a few houses away. I do know people by their dogs when walking!
I think not having kids in the schools (a town of some 9,000 people) and not being from here makes me feel very separate from the life of the town. A friend whose kids are grown and gone said sort of the same thing about life in town. Four of my co-workers live in the same town but only one is a friend. It's curious. If I'd stayed in the huge suburb in NJ I'm from, I likely would know a lot of people around, from growing up there. The head of my high school reunion company still lives in his late parents' house behind the house I grew up. He maintains an online group for people from the suburb and a lot of people seem to stay in touch.
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