Suburban Sprawl

[MoNative34]

I've agreed with most of the above, but take issue that is was so much safer in the "old days" than now. Back then, we didn't have 24hour news outlets and the local TV news only broadcasted at 6 and 10 pm. Now, in my area the local news starts at 4pm and runs to 6:30. The nightime news starts at 9 and runs till 10:30. That's a ton of fill in time and way more needed to cover the news of the day. Talk about a lot of extra time to find topics to scare people. The "latest health study", "If you eat/drink this, you're at higher risk for this." Why are we not all dead, yet?

And yes, there were sex offenders way back when. The "don't talk to strangers" rule pretty much took care of that.

[Briolat21]

But that's one of the points - it isn't necessarily worse now than it was when we were growing up - its just that everyone obsesses about it now.

I think having a sense of independence can be fostered anywhere - city/suburb/rural. I think getting out and being active can be done anywhere. I think that a lot of today's kids don't have those options (no matter where they live) because parents are now incredibly afraid. They would rather their child be inside all day playing video games, rather than riding their bike unescorted around the neighborhood. Or - if they have the time, they will escort the kid to a few allowed activities (wow! that would have been terrible when I was a kid!!)

We lived about 2 miles from the high school - which had tennis courts. By the time I was 10/11 I was allowed to ride my bike up there (tennis racket in my back pack) and play in the summer. Never mind that the school sat on a very busy street. Never mind that it was 2 miles away and I didn't have a cell phone!! (always kept a dime for the pay phone in my kangaroos though!!).

I think my parents raised me to not be stupid, and they expected me to not be stupid, and - for the most part - I was not stupid!!!

We had a stream/river in our back yard. We used to go down to the main street, turn the corner and come up in the meadow that was across the river. We would play under the trees, skip stones, and stare at the backs of our houses. We would be gone for HOURS - just two 8 year olds off exploring the world. No one worried that we had drowned. No one worried that we would drown. I think when I was 5 I got the "Don't go in the river" speech, and that was it. I would go near the river, but never right to the edge, never where I could fall in. I just wasn't that stupid, and my parents didn't think I would be.

Now I'm sure people in my parent's community don't let their children out of sight for fear that they will fall in. I'm suprised the river isn't covered over by concrete already!!

I know that the world can be a scary place. But, it always has been, it just seems that 30-40 years ago those parents (my were WWII generation) believed their children had enough good sense to not deliberately kill themselves or others while goofing around.

Today's parents (big generalization based on what I've seen, I apologize in advance) seem bent on making sure their children are NEVER hurt. Never fall, never stumble, never fail ("showing up awards for team sports") never experience any difficulty.

That has nothing to do with suburban sprawl vs. city. NOTHING. That is today's paranoid parent trying desperately to keep their child alive and safe.

The trouble is that an 18 year old who's never had to face a challenge, doesn't know how to survive in the world.

When I was 18 I COULD NOT WAIT to leave home for college. And since then, no matter the challenges, I have never moved home. Moving home would be a failure, and I was taught that I could handle challenges and over come them. Ramen noodles for another 6 months - no problem!!!

Today's children (in general) are just being raised differently it seems. What this does for society, I can't begin to guess. But my poor children (if we have any) - they will definitely stick out in this society. They will probably be raised like its 1976 (minus the bad clothes and drugs!!)!

[houstoner]

Originally Posted by Briolat21

That has nothing to do with urban vs. sprawl, or city vs. suburban. That has everything to do with the increased paranoia of today's parents, and the media's hype of "danger behind every corner".

Possibly, but isn't this "the increased paranoia of today's parents" who themselves were raised in suburbs? It seems cyclical to me, leading to inner ring suburbs, then outer ring suburbs, and finally exurbs as people move forever outward. Here in Houston we have suburbs that have suburbs. It means terrible boredom especially for teenagers.

[AnthonyB]

Briolat - I hear ya.

I might have to agree with Houstoner though that some of it has to do with the suburban environment and how it has developed over the years - becoming first very kid-centric and then ever more focused. There is tremendous societal pressure in the "burbs. I allow my kids a fair amount of freedom - they play outside whenever possible and I don't micromanage or supervise them. However, the other parents will interfere when their kids are out, or their kids are never allowed out, or they will cast aspersions about "lack of supervision". I actually got a note on my door from one such micromanaging neighbour saying that I was neglecting my kids by not remaining glued to them while they played in the back yard for a whole five minutes - an anonymous, cowardly note. And in these days of nutty social services departments, being spied on by neighbours has a whole added weight attached.
You can plan on bringing your kids up like its the 1970's but in all likelyhood, your obsessive "it's for the children" neighbours will probably have a hard time letting you.

I do agree about the paranoia of today. I also played outside and well away from my home - curfew was nightfall.

I actually did know a kid that was murdered - my best friends younger brother was snatched on the way home from school and killed. Parents then viewed it for what it was, a horrible occurence, but a one off. Once the guy was caught, they still allowed their kids outside to play freely, and of course it never happened again. They had a far more pragmatic approach to tragedies.

[sbd78]

I don't agree that suburbia has anything more to do with kids living at home until they are older (25+). I think that has a lot more to do with how a child is raised, and what values they are raised with. I was raised in suburbia and went away to college right after high school. After graduating college, I couldn't wait to find a job so I could move to the city (Chicago). Moving back in with my parents was the last thing I wanted to do. I found a job, moved, and remained in Chicago for 5 years until I married and had a child of my own and moved back to the suburbs. Living in the city was a great experience for those 5 years, but once kids came in to the picture, the suburbs made more sense, IMO. Children will explore and play no matter where they are. I think it has more to do with putting limits on things like T.V. and video games than it does on suburbia. My child is not even 2 yet, so he is too young to play outdoors on his own. But I can tell you that after living in the city AND the suburbs, I will give my child much more freedom to play outdoors in the suburbs than I ever would in the city. No way would I let my child roam the streets of Chicago unsupervised. Not to mention, the concrete jungle doesn't leave much open space for a child to play anyway.

[haberstroh]

I grew up in Germany and the change there is the same as here. There we have picture perfect little towns and bigger cities. You can walk every where, there are bike paths between towns, there is public transportation, playgrounds. No big sprawling sub divisions. And yet the kids are just as depending and have the same problems as here: school crimes, aggression, boredom, drugs, alcohol, lack in school performance, no hobbys etc. To my mind it is to be blamed on the TV and its strong influence on the kids. To some degree automobiles are at fault too. I see it in my own kids but if I would let them watch as much as they want, they would watch TV all day long and after they are done with that they would sit in front of the computer. Of course I don't let them and I "force" them to go outside. And yes, they play outside on their own but most of the time they don't know what to play, they are not creative anymore and can not invent games and activities as we did. Again for that I blame the TV too and of course myself for letting them watch even just half an hour :-)
But then again certain things are regional, my husband for instance grew up in Miami in the 70ies with a lot of crime. Our kids live much safer in a suburb in Boston.