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Old 06-21-2007, 10:32 PM
 
Location: phoenix,this place is horrible
105 posts, read 217,627 times
Reputation: 72
Default Mormon influence on non- mormons

Hi,
I was thinking of moving to utah but my wife is worried about the mormon way of shunning non-mormons.She has lived in mormon communities and said she would never do it again because if you want to start a business or anything they will make i rough to make a living and we have 2 young children that if they try influencing them, they dont want to deal with me.I dont handle people pushing their beliefs or lifestyle on me.
I am a firm believer in you leave me alone and i will leave you alone.
How are they to live with, because all i want to do is live my life and enjoy it.I want to appreciate what has been given to us, nature is all i need.
Dan k

Last edited by dan k; 06-21-2007 at 11:10 PM.. Reason: delete,wrong forum

 
Old 06-22-2007, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Draper, Utah
618 posts, read 1,737,602 times
Reputation: 462
Hey Dan. Check out the thread I am Non LDS will I have trouble living in Utah. It has been closed, but is still viewable. It will answer your question thoroughly.
 
Old 06-22-2007, 09:27 AM
 
48 posts, read 124,154 times
Reputation: 37
My husband and I moved to Utah in February this year, and so far we love it. I have no idea what all this "LDS hysteria" is about. We have not been "shunned" by anyone, neither have we been "harrassed" to go to church, join the church or move away. The warm weather tends to bring people out of their houses. We been greeted by friendly neighbors when we've been working in our garden or going for a walk around the neighborhood after dinner in the evenings. Frankly I have no idea when I meet people whether they are LDS or not. They don't walk around with the Book of Mormon in their hands or a sign tattooed on their forehead. To me, my neighbours are simply "Dan & Candace" or "Sue & Roger" or "Larry & Cindy" and their assorted children. Maybe because we are living in an area where all the homes are new (and therefore everyone is new to the area), we are meeting a different cross-section of people?? But outside of our neighborhood, I've always found people in the stores or restaurants to be friendly. The only thing that has "aggravated" us so far is some of the local "driving habits" - speeding, never use their turn signals (probably because they are distractedly talking on their cell phones), but coming from the DC area, it really isn't so different, just not what we expected in this otherwise "polite state".

My experience is only that of one, and only a few months old, but if you have otherwise good reasons to move Utah, I wouldn't let the thought of the LDS population deter you. I've lived in many places in different parts of the world. There will always be some things you'd prefer were different, but in my book, this place has a lot going for it! Be friendly, and (most) people will be friendly to you.
 
Old 06-22-2007, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Austin Texas
668 posts, read 43,434 times
Reputation: 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by dan k View Post
Hi,
I was thinking of moving to utah but my wife is worried about the mormon way of shunning non-mormons.She has lived in mormon communities and said she would never do it again because if you want to start a business or anything they will make i rough to make a living and we have 2 young children that if they try influencing them, they dont want to deal with me.I dont handle people pushing their beliefs or lifestyle on me.
I am a firm believer in you leave me alone and i will leave you alone.
How are they to live with, because all i want to do is live my life and enjoy it.I want to appreciate what has been given to us, nature is all i need.
Dan k
They will influence you in subtle ways. They really set a good example for all to follow. I'm a bit worried that I may stop drinking and cussing so much. I might even lose some of my sarcasm and start being nicer to my neighbors.

No seriously Dan. My son hangs with Morman kids and never does religion enter the picture. I don't think parents will try to push their religion on your children. And you will not be "Shunned".

Now the guys riding bicycles do tend to aggravate me. Just invite them in, and try to convert them to Buddhism, Islam, take your pick. It's pretty funny
"unless you pray toward Mecca 5 times a day, you will go to the hot place"... "Its written here in this Koran". I'm not a big fan of anyone coming to my door and telling me their philosophy or trying to sell me anything.
 
Old 06-22-2007, 10:00 AM
 
1,125 posts, read 2,390,495 times
Reputation: 401
Quote:
Originally Posted by dan k View Post
Hi,
I was thinking of moving to utah but my wife is worried about the mormon way of shunning non-mormons.She has lived in mormon communities and said she would never do it again because if you want to start a business or anything they will make i rough to make a living and we have 2 young children that if they try influencing them, they dont want to deal with me.I dont handle people pushing their beliefs or lifestyle on me.
I am a firm believer in you leave me alone and i will leave you alone.
How are they to live with, because all i want to do is live my life and enjoy it.I want to appreciate what has been given to us, nature is all i need.
Dan k

Dan, hopefully I can write what is in my head in such a manner that is inoffensive and conveys the correct spirit. First, your wife appears to have a negative preexisting notion regarding the LDS community; this is not good and provides a catalyst for anger and hurt feelings at the slightest perceived offense. Next, it appears you possess a low tolerance for religious issues, which is also not good. I am concerned how you would react when missionaries come to your door or neighbors, both children and adult, invite you to church or church activities. Finally, your tag indicates you are from Arizona, and you think itís horrible, and it appears you are not dealing with the LDS community where you presently reside. Combining these points leads me to believe a move to Utah would probably not be a good idea. You need to find a state that is not religiously centered. I would suggest you consider California, Nevada, New Mexico, or Colorado.
 
Old 06-22-2007, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Cedar City, UT
214 posts, read 900,476 times
Reputation: 112
My wife and I moved to SW Utah in April and are non-LDS. Our impressions are that the LDS folk lead a clean and healthy lifestyle for which I admire them. As a result, we both are attempting to quit the tobacco habit because it's so "looked down upon". If the LDS influence has any part in quiting smoking, I'm all for it. Coming from VT, we find the people to be super friendly and outgoing. We are retired and have no children here so we can't speak to that issue. Personally, I cant understand all the hysteria regarding the LDS thing. No one has come to my door preaching eternal damnation. I we ever do get a missionary, we would invite them in to have a discussion with respect to their beliefs and that what it would be, a discussion. As I mentioned in an old post many months ago, I really don't care what someone's religious holdings are. I they are a good person and treat us fairly then they are just like anyone else. If they don't, then I have no use for THAT PERSON, not the entire faith.
The only thing I have to complain about is the crazy drivers. Some make NYC cabbies look tame. It's almost funny to watch.

Just my $.02
 
Old 06-22-2007, 11:25 AM
 
129 posts, read 343,789 times
Reputation: 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by dan k View Post
but my wife is worried about the mormon way of shunning non-mormons.She has lived in mormon communities and said she would never do it again because if you want to start a business or anything they will make i rough to make a living and we have 2 young children that if they try influencing them, they dont want to deal with me.I dont handle people pushing their beliefs or lifestyle on me.
Where, exactly, did the wife have these negative experiences? From your rather nebulous statement it sounds like it wasn't just a single episode; it would be helpful if you could pinpoint the problems and where they occurred.

As for "pushing their beliefs" on you, maybe if you'd think of it as a desire to share what they believe is good in an effort to add extra value to your life then you wouldn't immediately take offense--and, by the way, you are always welcome to say, "thanks, but no thanks." FYI, the LDS Church does not preach, practice, or condone 'shunning.' Never has, never will.

P.S. what business are you planning on being in?
P.P.S. noticed in your profile you state that you can't wait to move to Montana--so, am curious why you're asking about Utah (?)

Last edited by LlasaLost; 06-22-2007 at 11:37 AM..
 
Old 06-23-2007, 05:51 AM
 
30 posts, read 109,059 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by dan k View Post
Hi,
I was thinking of moving to utah but my wife is worried about the mormon way of shunning non-mormons.She has lived in mormon communities and said she would never do it again because if you want to start a business or anything they will make i rough to make a living and we have 2 young children that if they try influencing them, they dont want to deal with me.I dont handle people pushing their beliefs or lifestyle on me.
I am a firm believer in you leave me alone and i will leave you alone.
How are they to live with, because all i want to do is live my life and enjoy it.I want to appreciate what has been given to us, nature is all i need.
Dan k
>>> I too am a non-LDS/Mormon who lived in UT for over twenty years. My non-LDS/Mormon family started a family business absolutely no problems.

If you are going to move to Utah and start a business you need to do exactly what you're trying to do now, research it. Get as much info as possible.

You will meet people who believe their religion is the 'one true religion' and some can be very pushy. But, you just have to find it within yourselves to be honest and kind and say, "No, thank you."

I realize your wife is very scared to go into Utah and have another bad experience. I don't blame her. But not all LDS/Mormon persons are prejustice. You need to find a town that is more diverse that will fit your needs.
You may not agree with religion, but call some of the churchs of different faiths and get their point of view. The answer will come to you..

Good Luck!
 
Old 06-23-2007, 09:25 PM
 
Location: phoenix,this place is horrible
105 posts, read 217,627 times
Reputation: 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by LlasaLost View Post
Where, exactly, did the wife have these negative experiences? From your rather nebulous statement it sounds like it wasn't just a single episode; it would be helpful if you could pinpoint the problems and where they occurred.

As for "pushing their beliefs" on you, maybe if you'd think of it as a desire to share what they believe is good in an effort to add extra value to your life then you wouldn't immediately take offense--and, by the way, you are always welcome to say, "thanks, but no thanks." FYI, the LDS Church does not preach, practice, or condone 'shunning.' Never has, never will.

P.S. what business are you planning on being in?
P.P.S. noticed in your profile you state that you can't wait to move to Montana--so, am curious why you're asking about Utah (?)
I am planning on starting a Harley repair shop, i am certified Harley,Buell and V-rod.We are still up in the air where we are going but know we are getting out of this city"there is nothing good in Phoenix unless you like sitting in your house being a couch potato".
I brought up Utah o her because i like it there, people have always been decent to me when i travel through but she had some bad experiences and she is not the type that has anything against anyone until she said the word mormon, i could feel it but she wont tell me why .
We are choosing between utah, idaho, montana and colorado.I want to be in montana because my kids are there but i also want to be fair to her because 2 of her kids are staying here and one is still in Hawaii.I dont want to put her far away from her kids so i can be by mine, not really fair to her and her kids.Please help with any info or suggestions on any of the states i said
Thank you very much
 
Old 06-24-2007, 04:32 AM
 
Location: Draper, Utah
618 posts, read 1,737,602 times
Reputation: 462
I would encourage you to start a thread in the General U.S forum... as it would be more appropriate, than starting a discussion about several other states, within the Utah forum. Good luck.

As for your wife, and having an issue with Mormons... I have found that most people who have an issue, either judge the whole religion based on a bad experience with one person, which really is unfair... OR... they have heard all the silly rumors that go around, and don't have much firsthand knowledge, or experience, about what the LDS church members are really like. No offense intended, but I would study up a bit on the religion, not to convert, but just for a little understanding. Check out Wikepedia, their info is pretty accurate, actually. Also, go and spend a little time in Utah, if you really like it here, and want your wife to see that things are okay there.
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