Centerville - Non LDS Trying to fit in (Bountiful: living, bus)

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by 11thHour

Meh, I'm not looking for any religious people's admiration. I would, however, like them to keep that religion to themselves.

That's good to know. I hope you're not looking for non-religious people's admiration either, because most of them are going to see your attitude exactly the way I do -- as extremely juvenile.

[henry1]

my wife was Catholic and iam LDS and she fit in well with the women of the area and laughing and jokeing with them ....she would go to the sewing circles and pot luck suppers ..she was well like inside the circle of women and never had a problem with the other women in the area..

i have to say it how you handle the people who are asking to do somethng with the women in the area..

when i moved home for a couple of years to work in Vegas she stayed up in utah with our kids and raised them there for she felt it better to raise them there than down in Vegas area..when we where moveing into the house that we had gotten from the family ..when the local ward ladies had drop by and was asking if they could help with a dinner or anything else .and the kitchen meeting we got to talking about the local family connections to the house and i told them i was cora and john grandson and she goes your the wild one that moved away and joined the military and have been gone since ..i said yes mam and said it not all bad stuff you heard about me when i was a younger person is ..she laughed and told if your cora and john grandson you have the wild steak in you just like all the family members ..that when she told who she was and who her grandmother was and i was laughing ..

when one of the ladies saw the quilting hoops on the wall and asked to see them for they where talking about the diff quilts styles and what style did my wife like to make ..when my wife leading them to the hoops on the wall when they passed through the kitchen area and i was standing in the front of the fridge with a 2.lt of soda in my hand drinking saight from the bottle .. thats when my wife was giveing the look of iam going to kill you right now look along with the statement of my husband is LDS and maybe you like to ask him if would like to come down the church also for pot luck dinner and they did ask if we would like to come down to the church on friday night for pot luck and we showed up with dishs of food in hand and had a great time..

later on at the pot luck dinner one of the guys who was telling me i guess all wives had that iam going to kill you look is standard when meeting new people at times and we are doing things that are not supposed to be doing at the time they come into the area we are at....for the guys around the ward heard about it and was allways giveing the standard joke of have you been caught with a soda in your hand again..i tell that i hide the soda from people in the spare bedroom and we laugh at the joke..

my wife never had a problem fitting in there and loved the area and made life long friends in the area and when she passed a lot of them drove down to the funeral to help out as they could and be a friend to me and the kids.. ..

it just how you act when they asked you if you would like to do something with the group for the ladys are the gateway to the area and how well you are treated in the area..

[11thHour]

Originally Posted by Katzpur

That's good to know. I hope you're not looking for non-religious people's admiration either, because most of them are going to see your attitude exactly the way I do -- as extremely juvenile.

What's juvenile about it? If I see lds bumper stickers am I to assume that person is juvenile? By asking my neighbor out for a drink is that not neighborly? Is it somehow less valid than asking someone to a church function?

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by 11thHour

What's juvenile about it? If I see lds bumper stickers am I to assume that person is juvenile? By asking my neighbor out for a drink is that not neighborly? Is it somehow less valid than asking someone to a church function?

It gets back to your intentions, and I think you know that. If your intention is to be neighborly, then fine. It certainly didn't appear that way to me. From where I stand, it looks to me as if your sole intention would be to offend. Now I've said all I'm going to say about it. I'm not going to get into a stupid argument over it, and I suggest you let the matter drop.

[madpacket]

We (non-LDS) have been to about three church-hosted functions. Well, I have been to three and our family went together to a Luau-style bbq dinner at the closest chapel 150 yards from our front door. The first two were gun shooting activities with men from two different wards. The last was a dinner. At each event, an opening prayer was said and it was benign enough, more a giving of thanks than anything else.
At none of these have we been asked to join the church or been offered church doctrine. Honestly I feel a little uncomfortable joining these gatherings in knowing full well that we will reject any future conversion efforts. However that has not come up and I don't feel increasingly pressured to attend LDS church and the invitations keep coming. I will be glad to invite my mormon neighbors to any activities at my church.
We have been directly asked about our faith, and been invited more than once to LDS church. We have tried to decline as politely as possible, explaining that we attend an evangelical church elsewhere. Missionaries showed up once and I wasn't home and upon mentioning that fact by my wife they took off pretty fast.
Funny story, was behind a couple of young missionaries in line at fast food and in my crass evesdropping heard them say remarks something to the effect that getting a mission in Utah was on the disappointing side, presumably because of the already dense concentration of LDS and fewer opportunities.

[mahea11]

please understand that what they are doing is just welcoming you and making you feel like you are part of the neighborhood---no one can convert you it must be you but they can be your friend if you let them
and the missionaries they love to talk to anyone one that will listen talking to them you can find out neat things of where they come from, you would see what good guys and gals they are if you just took the time to just to talk

[hilgi]

Originally Posted by mahea11

and the missionaries they love to talk to anyone one that will listen talking to them you can find out neat things of where they come from, you would see what good guys and gals they are if you just took the time to just to talk

I had no idea that they had to pay their own way.

I am always nice when I see them and my 6 year old will run up and hug them if it is one that has been around the neighborhood for awhile. These are just kids away from home and family, being nice is not a burden. They can be a help also, in my area it is a master planned community so we have schools, parks etc. close by and my kid and a couple neighbor kids decided to walk to the park (grrrr). My neighbor saw the local missionaries and they took down her number and a description and went looking. (they were found at a park)

I bet they would be happy just to talk about the weather from someone who isn’t slamming the door on them.

[abatesrn]

My husband, kids and I moved from the Southeast to Centerville almost 7 years ago. I can't imagine raising my kids anywhere else. We are not Mormon but our family has been treated with such kindness in our neighborhood. Yes, we have been invited to many, many activities! But we have no intention of joining the church. My oldest 2 children have attended Young Womens groups and Sunday school on a few occasions but no one tried to convert them. We have gone to several BBQ's and I even attended a Relief Society Salad Social. Sometimes, we have had neighbors bring us LDS Christmas DVD's, Children's music CD, and a Book of Mormon. We simply accepted the items, thanked them, and that was it! I have never felt pressured to join but I know everyone would welcome us if we did. I have heard stories like yours but our experience has been different. We have had playdates, sleepovers, and birthday parties with no problems. I think they are very persistant but most really just want to have you feel welcomed and included. My husband, on the other hand, is very anti-social and doesn't like to have neighbors "stop by" but he has always been like that I hope your experience here improves because it really is a wonderful place to live!

[UtahRoots]

Just a thought... It might have more to do with the neighborhood than anything else. Centerville isn't exactly a bastion of diversity. In my neighborhood there are three families that are agnostic, one family that is Episcopalian, and four that are LDS. We have block parties. When our next door (LDS) neighbor is put in charge of a holiday party for his very large national investment firm, and gets stuck with leftovers ('cause he's the office manager), he drops off cases of beer on our front porch. When my husband was in the hospital, the whole neighborhood inundated us with food. The Episcopalian guy and my hubby went in together on a riding lawn mower and that neighbor helped my son build a shed for it in our back yard. When he comes to get it, he takes our dogs to his house for play dates. One of the LDS guys hooks up his snowplow blade to his truck and plows our dead end at the end of every snow storm. If you're not really fast getting the garbage cans out to the curb, somebody does it for you. I know that sometimes it feels claustrophobic when you're surrounded by people whose motives you're not sure of, and it can be really uncomfortable. But you don't need to leave the state. Move to Holladay.

[CheesyPeach]

Great Post Utahroots. I want to live in your neighborhood. That sounds like Heaven to me...neighbors helping neighbors. Instead of focusing on your differences, how about focusing on the enormous similarity that you share...like where you LIVE!!! Help eachother out, earn trust, and treat others as you would want to be treated. No religion required to do that.