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Old 11-22-2011, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Perry, UT
601 posts, read 1,634,776 times
Reputation: 373

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What's the big deal of having LDS friends? I know lots of friends that are a mix of LDS and other religions. As friends there must be a common interest and religion should not matter.

You need to understand that it's offensive too to move somewhere and to state not to want to be around LDS.
There are heavy Catholic, Jewish or Muslim areas in this country but it would e seen as highly offensive it someone said he wishes NOT to live among them.

Try to be friends no matter what religion. If someone keeps knocking the door every Saturday to invite you to church or brings the Missionaries over there is enough time to tell them to stop it.
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Old 11-28-2011, 06:28 PM
 
25,975 posts, read 28,395,061 times
Reputation: 24648
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCAS007 View Post
What's the big deal of having LDS friends? I know lots of friends that are a mix of LDS and other religions. As friends there must be a common interest and religion should not matter.

You need to understand that it's offensive too to move somewhere and to state not to want to be around LDS.
There are heavy Catholic, Jewish or Muslim areas in this country but it would e seen as highly offensive it someone said he wishes NOT to live among them.

Try to be friends no matter what religion. If someone keeps knocking the door every Saturday to invite you to church or brings the Missionaries over there is enough time to tell them to stop it.
It's not that they wouldn't be friendly with LDS folks. But there's a big difference in lifestyles between people with kids and people without kids. That's doubly true for LDS folks, because usually they are busy with church and extended family in addition to taking care of multiple kids. Once they get into their late 20s, most church going LDS folks don't have time for anything else but work, church, and family.
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Old 12-03-2011, 09:14 PM
 
Location: vagabond
2,631 posts, read 4,930,661 times
Reputation: 1302
i'd just like to say that there really shouldn't be any reason to feel awkward about buying beer, drinking with the curtains open or any other thing that some people would consider un-mormon-like behavior.

not only are there really no good reasons that i can think of to hide that behavior, but there are a bunch of reasons that i can think of why you shouldn't.

1) changing your lifestyle to the point where you don't get to do the perfectly legal and acceptable things that you want to do, simply to fit into the social culture of an area is only bound to make you miserable.

2) hiding amidst the non-drinkers and non-smokers and pretending you are one of them will only make so that others in your exact situation will never recognize you, and you will both continue thinking you are alone out there.

3) most of us mormons don't care, honestly. hell, even most of us utah county mormons don't care. i know because i am a utah county mormon. i see people in utah county drinking and smoking all of the time and i have never seen myself or another mormon get upset over it, excepting when someone is being disrespectful with how or where they are smoking.

4) i'm not saying that there aren't those kinds of people out there––the ones that will get upset. but who cares? they are few and far between, and it is better to know right off of the bat that it isn't worth wasting your time trying to befriend them, rather than learning after two years of uncomfortable sunday bbqs that they have been looking down their noses at you the whole time.

5) and lastly––for the moment––sticking with the idea of being true to yourself and allowing others to accept you as you really are, you should be doing the same with them. there are plenty of mormons in utah county that could be really great friends with you if you would open up and be honest about your personality and pastimes. you would see that most of them won't care that you drink, so long as they can see that you are responsible about it, and you will see that most of these so-called awkward situations between mormons and nonmormons really are only awkward because of the preconceived ideas that both groups enter the situation with.
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Old 02-05-2012, 11:09 AM
 
Location: In the realm of possiblities
2,713 posts, read 2,273,940 times
Reputation: 3239
The thing that bothers me is that the LDS religion permeates almost every degree of life in this state. Remember the Church came here to set up their own nation of zion to escape persecution from the rest of the US, so a lot of the laws here were influenced by, if not written completely for the church and its doctrine. It seems that the laws here border on disputing the Constitution as far as separating church and state. To us, coming from southeast Texas, the laws here are pretty odd, and couple that with the somewhat clannish attitude of some of the people here, it fails for us, to be the draw we thought it might be to retire here. Looking to head south as soon as we can. Good-bye fry sauce.
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Old 02-05-2012, 03:37 PM
 
Location: The other side of the mountain
2,447 posts, read 5,901,650 times
Reputation: 1185
Quote:
Originally Posted by 124c41 View Post
The thing that bothers me is that the LDS religion permeates almost every degree of life in this state.
I suppose anything in life will affect you if you let it.
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Old 02-05-2012, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Perry, UT
601 posts, read 1,634,776 times
Reputation: 373
Quote:
Originally Posted by 124c41 View Post
The thing that bothers me is that the LDS religion permeates almost every degree of life in this state. Remember the Church came here to set up their own nation of zion to escape persecution from the rest of the US, so a lot of the laws here were influenced by, if not written completely for the church and its doctrine. It seems that the laws here border on disputing the Constitution as far as separating church and state. To us, coming from southeast Texas, the laws here are pretty odd, and couple that with the somewhat clannish attitude of some of the people here, it fails for us, to be the draw we thought it might be to retire here. Looking to head south as soon as we can. Good-bye fry sauce.
Why did you come to Utah in the first place? Just wondering.
Maybe the bible belt is the right place for you then
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Old 02-05-2012, 11:43 PM
 
Location: vagabond
2,631 posts, read 4,930,661 times
Reputation: 1302
oh, come on, guys. don't be to harsh. you know as well as i do that utah laws and culture take some getting used to. i'm a born-and-raised utah mormon, and it still rubs me the wrong way sometimes.

sure, it is better to just deal with it than to mope. but we don't know that 124 is moping. seems to me like he/she is deciding ahead of the problems that they would rather be elsewhere, and are proactively solving the problem ('course, i didn't bother to check their posting history, so i might be missing some rants or something, but whatever). even if that means that their opinion of utah is lower than mine, i'm ok with that.
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:51 PM
 
1,568 posts, read 1,961,898 times
Reputation: 2159
Oh you just have to love how gracefully Utahn's and/or LDS members accept the opinions of others regarding the State and/or religion, you just do......

Here in New York locals and out of staters alike complain and attack lifestyle elements of the State all the time, somehow, with all the brusk, agressive, short tempered, etc. labels us N.Y.'ers have to wear sometimes, we seem to treat these nay-sayers with more tolerance and dignity.

You know the joke:
"How many N.Y.er's does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
Answer: "None of your %#**## business!".....

Yea, let me guess...

"If you like it there so much why don't you just stay there"

"Three cheers for SIMOSP still in N.Y. and not Utah!"

IMO this thread is a mirror to Utah residents and LDS alike you could all learn from.

Oh, and to the O.P....

Just take up Ballroom Dancing and you'll be fine in Utah County, you can Foxtrot, Argentine Tango, or Waltz any indifferences away in no time, and you'll have more friends than you'll know what to do with, LDS or not, no matter....
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Old 02-06-2012, 06:28 PM
 
1,568 posts, read 1,961,898 times
Reputation: 2159
O.K...

So one of the comments that spurred the above post has been removed so it makes my former post semi-orphaned.

So if it now makes semi-sense or is semi-offensive this would explain it...LOL
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Old 02-07-2012, 07:41 AM
 
Location: In the realm of possiblities
2,713 posts, read 2,273,940 times
Reputation: 3239
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCAS007 View Post
Why did you come to Utah in the first place? Just wondering.
Maybe the bible belt is the right place for you then
We came on the urging of my daughter and thought it would be nice to be close to our grandkids. She had conditions for our relationship that we weren't aware of till we got here. Now, sadly, we have no contact with them. We like our adopted town,it's just hard for our bodies to adapt to the altitude, and the winters. I suppose we could have worked harder at it had we been able to fulfill our dream of being grandpa and grandma, but that seems highly improbable now, so I suppose we move on. No, the bible belt wouldn't have worked. We weren't looking for religion coming here. I meant nothing disrespectful by the comment of the religion here seeming to influence the laws, it was simply an observation on my part. And as far as the attitude of some of the people here, I suppose it's not fair. As they say different strokes. We came from and area in Texas that was farm country, and everybody had a wave and a smile, so whose to say if we had moved into a more rural area, it might have been the same here? Maybe my comments are influenced by the dissapointment of our situation, I don't know. But life goes on.
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