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Me = long time NJ/NYC-area (NJ born and bred). Currently living in southwestern VA and considering a possible future relo to UT. Most likely the Salt Lake Valley. I've been to SLC, Park City, Moab, Provo, etc, so I do have some background with UT.
What I'd like to know is whether there are any other folks on this forum who have a similar suburban NJ or NY background and have made the move to UT. I'd like to hear some comparisons on the people, the "vibe", the pace, etc.
We moved from Burlington Co NJ 14 years ago and what a shock it was! I had never lived in the west (save for Alaska, but I was a kid then) before. I spent most of my growing up time in NJ. The general pace of life was much slower and more relaxed that what I was used to at the time.
Because religion is such a way of life here, that took a lot of getting used to, also. In NJ, really, people could care less about what religion anyone is. As a whole, I have found that Utah is more of a "watch out for your neighbor" type of state than NJ was also.
Although I do miss back East sometimes (mostly the awesome food...cheesesteaks, pretzels, hoagies), Utah is my home and I do love it here. It took a good few years before I really felt like that though.
If you move, and think you really don't like it, be sure to give it some time.
NY native (Westchester County...so not exactly NYC). I lived in Utah (Layton) for 4 years...and now have moved back to NY (Long Island) a few months ago. Utah...Westchester...and Long Island officially certify me as having lived on 3 completely planets :-) SLC is nothing like NY in any way shape or form...and by no means is that a bad thing. We loved our time in Utah but were very ready to leave.
Rather than go into a drone of specifics that you may not be interested in...I cordially invite you to PM me with questions. Hopefully I can help!!
hey kaytidid and alexei27...
Thanks for the responses. kaytidid...Would you say that folks in UT are more open about their religious backgrounds, and more curious about yours? More likely to ask about it?
and alexei27...
if you are willing, I'd be interested to know why you are grateful(?) to be leaving and heading back east. It sounds like you truly like(d) Utah. I thought your reasons might be a helpful bit of info for others looking at UT. But if it's really personal, I respect that too.
Yes, I do think that people are more open about their religion here. It doesn't take long before neighbors realize who the non mormons are. Church services at the ward are divided up depending on where in the neighborhood you live. Because it IS a way of life here, the terms are thrown around like you should know what they mean. Bishop, stake president, ward building, relief society, young men's and young womens society, are just a few. In all my years here, the LDS have always been very open and welcoming. We have some LDS friends that are more stauch than others. Some my husband will golf with on a Sunday and others he sticks to only a Saturday. That is fine. That is their belief, so who am I to judge? Both my sisters married LDS men and one has since converted. Do I love her any less? Of course not.
I am a naturally curious person and like to learn about other people, so I am one to ask questions. I am Catholic myself, and have no desire to change, but it is always fun to learn new things. I work at a local school and the kids have no hesitation to ask if I am LDS. They don't seem to care that I am not. They ask where I go to church, and seemed to be relieved that I do, but it doesn't matter WHERE I go.
Sorry if this went off on a tangent. I have been reading these boards for a while from people that are scared to move to Utah because of the Mormon stigma. Sometimes I think that trouble can be found if one looks hard enough. Mormons are people. They have red blood just like anyone. They don't breathe fire, they don't secretly meet trying to figure out how to make non mormon's lives miserable, they don't have a quota to meet about how many people they can convert.
Utah is a very friendly place with lots of great people. Is everyone terrific? No, of course not. Is this a crime free state? Nope. I think the only way to go into something is with an open mind, but realistic expectations. It is a HUGE change. Not necessarily a bad change, just a big one.
I am also NJ born and bred, having lived in the NYC metro area for most of my life. I am planning to move to SLC in the summer, so I can't be much help in terms of "the vibe", and what it's actually like to live there. I am going out in a few weeks to check it out. However, I can tell you that from all the research I have done so far, I think it's exactly what I am looking for. But it does sound like it's dramatically different from what I'm used to. For me that's a good thing - I have been dying to get out of this area and move out west for years. SLC sounds like a great place if you ski and/or are very into outdoor recreation and beautiful scenery. If not for that, I don't think it's where I would choose to go. If you really like NY-NJ area then I'm not sure how much you'll like it. Seems like night and day differences. The Mormon influence seems to bother some people a lot, while others have no problem at all. It sounds like it's a bit easier to fit in if you are married with kids or are another religion. I am single and am non-religious, but I am planning to live in SLC rather than the suburbs, so I'm not too worried. I'll have more info after my visit!
hey kaytidid and alexei27...
Thanks for the responses. kaytidid...Would you say that folks in UT are more open about their religious backgrounds, and more curious about yours? More likely to ask about it?
and alexei27...
if you are willing, I'd be interested to know why you are grateful(?) to be leaving and heading back east. It sounds like you truly like(d) Utah. I thought your reasons might be a helpful bit of info for others looking at UT. But if it's really personal, I respect that too.
Hi again....
We really did enjoy living in Utah. I doubt I will ever have a 10,000 ft mountain range in my backyard again...it's truly awesome. But for a number of reasons (many of which pertain to our particular situation) it was a good time to move on. We lived very comfortably on a 60K single income because taxes and home prices were so low compared to many other places. It is a bit different now with the upswing in housing...and this is one of the reasons we feel leaving was a good reason. We were able to sell near the peak and made some money on our home.
Another reason we were ready to leave is our children. We have two adopted girls...one from Haiti and one from China. Lets face it...Utah is not very culturally diverse...with the single exception of Hispanic descent. We expect the typical reaction/response when you see a white couple with a black baby...but in many many cases we were asked why we didn't want a baby that looked like us. There was this stigma that there was something wrong if your baby didn't have the same exterior as you did. Since we have been in NY (where it is much more a melting pot)....we have not had one question other then "are they adopted"??
The number of insinuations about having a mixed family was wearing on us to be perfectly honest.
A third reason...was the schools. It is no secret that Utah schools lack funding. The teachers are simply underpaid and there are problems attracting a higher level of talent. It was also in schools where we experienced our only real problem with not being Mormon. My wife baby sat for our next door neighbors daughter a few days a week. This little girl was 7 at the time...and there were a few families who did not welcome this little girl into their homes because she was not Mormon. I realize that this is not an everyday occurrence...but grade school kids can be brutal to each other...and with two girls who already have to deal with what kids will say about their skin color...it just seemed better to relocate.
Really the only other stereotypical Mormon pressure we experienced was when my wife was a bridal consultant at a Wedding dress shop. I wont get into details about it here because I don't want to incite anger...but the number of 16-18 year old brides got to be enough for her.
We ended up moving via a job transfer...but were actively looking to move for about the last 6-8 months. I will never regret living along the Wasatch front for 3 years. We adopted two amazing babies while living there and it will always be their first home. We will look back on it fondly...have made a few lifelong friends...and would not be opposed to moving back when the girls are older. For our situation right now however...it was right to leave.
I got a bit babbly there...let me know if there is anything else you want to know.
Im also born and bred NJ. At this time I live just a 3 hour drive to one of our favorite places, Cedar City, Utah. Up until 3 years ago we owned 20 acres in Cedar City and spent much time in our RV up there. Divorce caused us to sell the property but we continue to go to Cedar City at least a couple weekends per month.
With that said....I have had much opportunity the past 8 years to mingle with the locals, all Mormons. The nicest people you ever will meet. The kids have to do that chore I have no idea what it is called where they must serve other families for a time. Help me on this one? So they are some of the best well behaved teenagers you will ever see. Always polite as wait staff or any customer relations part.
Now.....I think the other poster who lived there was a little hesitant to say this one thing. If you move there and are not Mormon you will have an almost impossible time getting a job. If you open a business you will get little support from the Mormon community. This dont make anyone bad. That is no attempt to put anyone down. I love the people and I love Utah. I just think this is strange. If you join LDS your business will thrive. If you join LDS you can get a job anywhere.
Like the other poster said. It is true you do get asked all the time where ever you are what religion you are. I think if a total stranger asked that in NJ or NY one would be offended and start something. Am I right?
Wow...lots of excellent, well thought out responses. Thanks you all!
Quote:
I have been reading these boards for a while from people that are scared to move to Utah because of the Mormon stigma. Sometimes I think that trouble can be found if one looks hard enough. Mormons are people. They have red blood just like anyone. They don't breathe fire, they don't secretly meet trying to figure out how to make non mormon's lives miserable, they don't have a quota to meet about how many people they can convert.
Utah is a very friendly place with lots of great people. Is everyone terrific? No, of course not. Is this a crime free state? Nope. I think the only way to go into something is with an open mind, but realistic expectations. It is a HUGE change. Not necessarily a bad change, just a big one.
I think this should be a "sticky" at the top of this forum, as it really covers about 50% or more of the topics in the UT forum. Nicely put!
alexei27...thanks for the explanation. Much happiness with your relo!
Quote:
Like the other poster said. It is true you do get asked all the time where ever you are what religion you are. I think if a total stranger asked that in NJ or NY one would be offended and start something. Am I right?
so true!
hey cinabon...
I think you'll be fine. I know a guy out there...30's, no kids, not particularly religious that I know of...TX transplant...seems to like it!
Get ready for some wide SLC streets!
Now.....I think the other poster who lived there was a little hesitant to say this one thing. If you move there and are not Mormon you will have an almost impossible time getting a job.
I am sorry, but I have to disagree here. I am not Mormon and when we moved here, My husband and I had no trouble finding jobs at all. We also have changed jobs quite a few times, and it was never an issue, even when he was working for a company owned by a Mormon family.
I am not saying that some people might have had such trouble, but for myself and my husband, we have NEVER had that trouble. I would imagine in some locations (and maybe you were referring to a specific location in your post and I missed that) this could possibly happen.
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). Currently living in southwestern VA and considering a possible future relo to UT. Most likely the Salt Lake Valley. I've been to SLC, Park City, Moab, Provo, etc, so I do have some background with UT. 
