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Old 08-17-2018, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,631 posts, read 53,481,140 times
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Provo is the LEAST hip place in this country. Maybe some villages in Iraq/Afganistan/etc match its unhipness.

 
Old 08-17-2018, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Salt Lake City
21,262 posts, read 20,865,688 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
Provo is the LEAST hip place in this country. Maybe some villages in Iraq/Afganistan/etc match its unhipness.
I think you nailed it there.
 
Old 08-19-2018, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Utah
279 posts, read 432,806 times
Reputation: 405
I agree with everything Mark said. You may want to look a bit further east. Having spent considerable time in both Utah and Wyoming, the latter seems to align more closely with your brand of conservative.
 
Old 08-20-2018, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Provo, UT
5 posts, read 1,890 times
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I'd say I've adapted fairly well. Utah Valley is definitely a fantastic place to live if you don't want any friends or want to be alone. The outdoor recreation nearby is beautiful and the neighborhoods sure are quiet and safe. Many friendly people. Even if the culture isn't inclusive to me, I can live with it because I don't mind not having friends and focusing on my hobbies.
 
Old 08-20-2018, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Evanston & Lake Forest, Illinois
660 posts, read 304,105 times
Reputation: 912
Quote:
Originally Posted by cultoftime View Post
I decided to move to Utah County to attend Utah Valley University because of the cheaper tuition compared to schools in my hometown of Pomona. I was attracted to Utah Valley because of the politically conservative culture as I quite frankly hate the liberal policies that have completely wrecked southern California and to be honest, I am not a fan of diversity, sorry. This just comes from experience, I am by no means racist but highly diverse areas attract more crime and degeneracy, I grew up in L.A. county and always felt sketchy. However, the Mormon culture sure is a bit much. I don't want to judge and generalize, but I'm afraid to even try and go meet friends or date women because of the Mormon culture and expectations. I respect their honor code, even though I'm an open-minded individual who has tried many things in the past, but still I'm all for it if it makes better and safer communities...but the dating aspect freaks me out and I feel even more alone than usual. I'm not a very social person so not having a friends isn't a big deal but I feel like it's unlikely to meet many libertarian types of individuals who are more carefree who are into more "hip" interests in art and music. Thankfully, SLC is a short drive but I wouldn't want to move there due to the higher cost and the more pretentious liberal culture.

Does anyone have advice of how to relieve the alienation? I can live with not having much friends, but the feeling that even if I wanted to I would have no chance or would not connect as well if I did make because of the fundamental religious beliefs that are rampant in the Utah Valley is a bit bleak. Also, if there are any cities that are close enough to UVU in either Utah or Salt Lake County that is a bit more open-minded and not highly LDS please feel free to suggest.
I think your outlook might be holding you back as well. I think you probably misinterpreted and misjudged Utah and LDS conservatism. The climate is much more communitarian and religious than individualistic. It's not libertarian. You like certain core aspects of LDS and Utah culture, but you aren't willing to embrace it. That's a significant conflict for you.

In my experience, as someone who is LDS, LDS people, especially younger LDS people, tend to be pretty interested in diversity. I'm probably not too much older than you, if at all. One of the main complaints I've heard from my peers about BYU and UVU is the lack of diversity, racial and ethnic diversity in particular. I think your outlook on diversity is going to strike most of your LDS peers as offensive.

I don't know about UVU's student body, but BYU has a lot of artistic and musically inclined students and faculty. You aren't going to find a lot of people that are interested in explicit music, but there are plenty of people who will go to raves, etc. If you look hard enough, you will find peers that are nominally LDS but are less-active and perhaps more open to doing things that are shunned by most LDS. Also, there are plenty of LDS men and women that are willing to date outside of the faith. You have to respect their standards, whatever they may be.

I would try to make use of social media, clubs, and connections with your existing social circle to find people who share your interests, even your outlook. They are out there.
 
Old 08-20-2018, 10:35 AM
 
Location: Evanston & Lake Forest, Illinois
660 posts, read 304,105 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
Provo is the LEAST hip place in this country. Maybe some villages in Iraq/Afganistan/etc match its unhipness.
There are some neat restaurants in Provo. The Heirloom Restaurant group has a handful of trendy eateries. I can think of many places less hip than Provo: Tangier Island, Marlette, Saginaw, etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by some boring guy View Post
I agree with everything Mark said. You may want to look a bit further east. Having spent considerable time in both Utah and Wyoming, the latter seems to align more closely with your brand of conservative.
Not Star Valley...
 
Old 08-20-2018, 11:32 AM
 
8,305 posts, read 8,580,329 times
Reputation: 25924
Quote:
Originally Posted by cultoftime View Post
I'd say I've adapted fairly well. Utah Valley is definitely a fantastic place to live if you don't want any friends or want to be alone. The outdoor recreation nearby is beautiful and the neighborhoods sure are quiet and safe. Many friendly people. Even if the culture isn't inclusive to me, I can live with it because I don't mind not having friends and focusing on my hobbies.
And that, I think, is often the choice many have to make who want to live in that area.

The canyons east of Provo are very scenic and offer abundant recreation opportunities. I'm thinking of the Provo River trail, Timpanogos Cave (a little up north), the Alpine Loop, Sundance Ski Resort, and Deer Creek Reservoir to name just a few sights.

The violent crime rate in Utah County is quite low and I am sure your neighbors are at least, superficially friendly.

I notice when magazines conduct surveys of the top 50 places to live in America that the Provo/Orem area generally makes the list. The problem is that these surveys are based on information that may not necessarily be helpful to particular individuals.

You have been given some potentially helpful suggestions here. However, I do think you need to face the simple reality that you will have fewer friends and social contacts if you choose to remain here than you would have in another location. If that works for you and the other aspects of living in the area outweigh that than I guess your decision would be to stay in the area. If your lack of social contacts becomes more significant than the recreational opportunities that exist than you should move. What I think is unlikely is that the situation will change very much.
 
Old 08-20-2018, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Evanston & Lake Forest, Illinois
660 posts, read 304,105 times
Reputation: 912
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightbird47 View Post
My son got lured in during High School, in California. He lived with his dad's family as I didn't have the money, and I think the mormon belivers saw someone who could be drawn in easy. He told me all excited.

Several friends of mine in high school, who were poor, got lots of stuff and food and clothes, and so on. She ended up not speaking much to us since we believed this new 'belief' was from all the stuff that got rained down on them, not some turn of faith.


I told my son he could be anything he wanted, but I did not like the practices of this church and do not sick them on me. He didn't get it. I think he was a lonely kid and they were happy to be his friend.


Since he's gotten married, and expected me to come. I told him I wouldn't unless I could go to the actual wedding, not just some reception. I happen to feel quite strong about this, and then we had a historic snowstorm in the OK/Kansas area so even if I did I was sort of snowed in. I'd decided not to talk about his religion, period, but when he and wife wanted me to move to Utah and join the family.


Its way past my income so it was doomed from the start, but amidst the faithful is the last place I want to live. So things are sort of at a draw.



People were surprised when I said I was pagan, eclictic wiccan actually. It means that I find more meaning in private ceremony, and more spirit than making sure you do all the stuff in order. But its held as a form of respect to accept that some do not perform the same words and symbolic elements. But its okay. Its a personal choice. Neither is *wrong*.


I hope that someday my son and I can make peace, but wonder if other families feel like their own are being stolen away by this tangle of control.
Lady, your rambling is incomprehensible. Do you care to clarify?
 
Old 08-21-2018, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,631 posts, read 53,481,140 times
Reputation: 18538
This topic has been beaten to death. OP has some good suggestions. Closed
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