Happy Valley and Depression (rental, homes, neighborhoods)

[falcon271]

DrWNORTH.......I spoke nothing of LDS or referred that LDS was causing a problem or depression with me. And for the others HOA is short for Home Owners Association. And these associations have a board of directors that set the "rules" of each new housing area. Your cold winters can cause depression. For me as a home owner in a different state, the house and lot belongs to me, I am free to express my individuality as I like. I can plant the flowers I like, I can keep my lawn mowed short and precise. I can leave my car in the driveway if I want or I can park it in the garage. I can paint my porch railings any color I want. My dog can walk about freely in my yard when I am outside with them. I can paint and decorate as I please. And when I see neighborhoods and developments in southern Utah I see hundreds of identical houses (cookie cutters...is what we refer them as in the midwest). And I see homes that are painted the same color or within one hue or two. I see very little individuality expressed in the exterior of the home. As a future new citizen it scares me to think that I will HAVE to fit in that mold for the expectations of neighbors and HOA's or I will receive complaints. I have pets, and they are like family to me. And being forced to give them up because it is about impossible to find a home where I can have a pet that may be a little too big or too fat then the appropriate "Stepford" mold, expectation or rules. And thus.......the term "Stepford" as in the movie Stepford Wives is justly given.

And yes...I'm depressed. I just came out of a long, long brutal winter and I'm heading to a community where it seems like I have to leave my pets behind. And none of that has to do with LDS.

[falcon271]

I apologize DRWNORTH........I am depressed, but I misread and thought you were referring that I blamed it on LDS. I am looking forward to the move, but also depressed that it's looking like I have to give up my pets. Again, I apologize

[drwnorth]

In reference to LDS I was generalizing, that basically good people who have strong and often outspoken religious beliefs are often the target of concern or it can be suggested so often here in this forum that they are at the root of problems or potential problems which only vaguely exist at best and quite possibly exist for the most part in the minds of those who claim its LDS. Utah today is not the Utah of the 19th century, or even what it was 20 years ago. It's societal and cultural trends have become much more liberal and open minded and will continue to progress, not regress in the same direction. Sure there will always be the hardcore holdout element which still live in the dark ages but you'll find this no matter where you go.

BTW, you're not hearing this from a Mormon.

As for the HOA's? Yes truly can be a pain in the behind. But living in an area with HOA guidelines does not necessarily mean the guidelines are strictly enforced. An HOA is only as strong as a few individuals, often just one or two, attempt to make it and enforce the rules. If you look more closely into these you may find rather lax or little enforcement.

[Chickrae]

Originally Posted by falcon271

DrWNORTH.......I spoke nothing of LDS or referred that LDS was causing a problem or depression with me. And for the others HOA is short for Home Owners Association. And these associations have a board of directors that set the "rules" of each new housing area. Your cold winters can cause depression. For me as a home owner in a different state, the house and lot belongs to me, I am free to express my individuality as I like. I can plant the flowers I like, I can keep my lawn mowed short and precise. I can leave my car in the driveway if I want or I can park it in the garage. I can paint my porch railings any color I want. My dog can walk about freely in my yard when I am outside with them. I can paint and decorate as I please. And when I see neighborhoods and developments in southern Utah I see hundreds of identical houses (cookie cutters...is what we refer them as in the midwest). And I see homes that are painted the same color or within one hue or two. I see very little individuality expressed in the exterior of the home. As a future new citizen it scares me to think that I will HAVE to fit in that mold for the expectations of neighbors and HOA's or I will receive complaints. I have pets, and they are like family to me. And being forced to give them up because it is about impossible to find a home where I can have a pet that may be a little too big or too fat then the appropriate "Stepford" mold, expectation or rules. And thus.......the term "Stepford" as in the movie Stepford Wives is justly given.

And yes...I'm depressed. I just came out of a long, long brutal winter and I'm heading to a community where it seems like I have to leave my pets behind. And none of that has to do with LDS.

There are several areas in Utah that are not HOA's. I guess it depends where you are moving too. I lived in Layton for 17 years in two homes and neither were HOA's. However my daughter lives in a Condo and it has a fee and not sure what they really do for her. They are suppose to snow plow and shovel her walk ways but they don't.

[drwnorth]

In the case of your daughter, if the HOA is collecting fees and not providing services paid for, the HOA is in breach and liable. If you can't get their attention, stop paying the fees. Let this bubble to the top and be sure to finger those supposed to be in charge of current HOA responsibilities.

[Chickrae]

Originally Posted by drwnorth

In the case of your daughter, if the HOA is collecting fees and not providing services paid for, the HOA is in breach and liable. If you can't get their attention, stop paying the fees. Let this bubble to the top and be sure to finger those supposed to be in charge of current HOA responsibilities.

She is a first time homeowner and not married and she didn't pay it for a couple months and they threatened to take her to court. It's only 64.00 a month but when she is scraping every penny to make her 900.00 payment 64.00 can seem alot when she doesn't see anything for it. Then they sent her a letter and said she had two weeks to paint the shutters, the front door and the steps and deck up to her front door with the type of paint they said and she had to go buy it and pay for it. If I wasn't out of state I could help more but I feel like my hands are tied. She has a fenced grass area in back and they said they can't mow it because it is fenced, only the condos that are not fenced they will mow. When she bought the condo almost two years ago the people before had put up the fence, I guess they failed to tell her she would mow her own back. I guess I can understand not mowing in the back, but the front not being shoveled or the parking lot not being plowed when they had so much snow this past winter, seems ridiculous. There are over 100 condos in the project I just can't believe no one else complains.

[Fate Belongstome]

Originally Posted by carlymac

What is HOA? Dh and I have been trying to figure this out all evening.

Sorry to "Fate" that extraneous issues caused you to leave the church. I don't think perfection is expected. I've learned to not care all too much what anyone else thinks of me. I'm sooooo far from perfect.

I'd be willing to bet that the other states with high anti-depressant usage have issues that have nothing to do with Utah's pre-dominant religion. And I know of other communities where expectations to be perfect are much higher than any in Utah. AND
Your picture of what is causing depression just doesn't add up for me.

That's ok... I only present my own opinion, and I am always open for other opinions...that is why I like this board so much!

I hold the greatest regard for members of the church. While it wasn't right for me, they are truly great people who makes this a safe state and a great place to raise families. I merely wanted to point out that they have a lot on their plate on a daily basis with fewer stress outlets or options combined with other environmental and biological factors. No scientific data, just my humble opinion.

I've heard statistics...which can be made to say anything...so take it with a grain of salt...that Utah ranks #1 in antidepressant use. Anyone???

[michelleleigh]

They had HOAS in New Mexico also, some were great in that it acted like a neighboarhood watch some were more lets see who we can bully next. as for deppression out here could it be that a lot of the casses are do to postpartum (sorry fror the spelling) deppression, just wandering because of the high birth rate out here. I love it out here and I aslo have noticed that the obgyns out here are more attentive then the ones I have delt with in NM and NY. They actually seem to care if you are feeling good wehther it be physically or emotionally. So maybe there is more disclouser when it comes to being wether or not you are deppressed because the DRs are actually asking the question.

[drwnorth]

Chickrae:

If the association is not doing its job, there are others also displeased, she needs to find a couple other owners who are willing to stand firm and expose the deficiencies. Going to court is a rather extreme solution which no one really wants to pursue, including the association. Besides, if they can't afford the snow removal, likely they can't afford court action either.

[Chickrae]

Originally Posted by Fate Belongstome

That's ok... I only present my own opinion, and I am always open for other opinions...that is why I like this board so much!

I hold the greatest regard for members of the church. While it wasn't right for me, they are truly great people who makes this a safe state and a great place to raise families. I merely wanted to point out that they have a lot on their plate on a daily basis with fewer stress outlets or options combined with other environmental and biological factors. No scientific data, just my humble opinion.

I've heard statistics...which can be made to say anything...so take it with a grain of salt...that Utah ranks #1 in antidepressant use. Anyone???

Actually, I heard the same thing on a news channel in Utah about a year ago that it was number one in prescription use...not sure about anti depressant but pain pills and prescription drugs in general. Maybe because people that are LDS can't drink alcohol so they justify taking pills to relieve stress. I never did and I lived there and I am mormon but that is just my opinion.