Non-mormon family looking to relocate to Lehi (crime, live)

[DP525]

Originally Posted by chazcrew

Yes, the point of the mountain tends to be the worst part of the commute, weather wise. I don't know why, just geographical factors, I guess. It can be fine everywhere else, and the point will have high winds and drifting snow. My husband drives it every day, and there are some days I'm pretty nervous, but most of the time it's not that bad. But it is a consideration.

The Traverse Mountain road is not direct; it winds among suburban housing and snakes down the mountain, and would take longer for that reason, plus it can get high winds and drifting too, just like the point. If you live on the east side of draper and want to bypass the freeway, then Traverse is an okay option. Otherwise, it's out of the way and might not offer a savings in time. Redwood Road is a major road that does continue clear to Lehi, but it is very far west of Lehi (Saratoga Springs area), so if you take that road to get to IMFT, you will end up going through the downtown Lehi traffic (very VERY bad) to get over to the east side of Lehi. I wouldn't consider Redwood Road a viable alternative, unless there's a complete shutdown of I-15 for an accident or something. Even then, I'd opt for one of the frontage roads instead. There simply is no decent east-west road on that side of Lehi yet. They're supposedly working on a bypass route sometime in the future, but I don't know when it will be done. Until then, I avoid downtown Lehi at rush hour. It's just a parking lot.

I have a lot of helicopters buzzing my house. Maybe I can thumb a ride.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I guess I will just slug it out on I-15.

[chazcrew]

Originally Posted by DP525

I am probably just being paranoid. I had neighbors in other cities who I NEVER spoke to. I haven't been going out of my way to speak to my current neighbors either. I am just too busy. I say "Hi" or wave if I see them but that has been the extent of it lately.

I just hate that this whole LDS / non-LDS issue, real or made-up, has made me so paranoid. If I have the slightest inkling that something is not quite right, I will tend to think it is because the neighbors have discovered we are not "members".

But nothing bad has happened...

I still think my neighbors are great and just real busy like us. Find me a couple in their 30's with a kid or four who isn't busy. And their kids keep ringing the doorbell looking for playmates and my kids are only too happy to oblige. And that is the answer to the issue that started this thread.

Are my wife and I happy? The jury is still out. We enjoy the shopping and taking the kids to the Childrens Museum on TRAX. The weather has been very agreeable. There are a couple of kick-@#$ radio stations. We like Daybreak and enjoy its parks, playgrounds, and paths. It will be truly great as it continues to grow. But aside from the increase in our property value, we are not real happy about the temple being built there. Nothing like helping to cement the "outsider" feeling. And that basically sums up our feelings right now. We feel a bit like outsiders. My wife is angry that she feels she can't wear certain clothes for fear that the neighbors might stop letting their kids come over. I have to drive 10 miles to buy a bottle of wine or six-pack of "real" beer and then am afraid to sit on my large front porch and drink it for the same reason. We are afraid to invite someone over for a cup of coffee for fear of offending them. It is just different living here. And again, it might be mostly our own paranoia. But if we weren't in Utah we wouldn't be so paranoid. Maybe time will prove us wrong and I sincerely hope so. There is a lot of potential here and I hope we grow to like it and feel comfortable.

You know what? I think you have very legitimate feelings about this. A lot of those things you've mentioned as bothering you, I can completely understand (clothing, beer on the porch, etc). I do immediately pigeonhole people based on those things. I know I do. I catch myself all the time. And then I feel bad, because who cares? What does it matter? But it's like we all go around putting people into neat little categories, and that's one of the categories in Utah. Tank top? Beer in the hand? Not mormon. Or at least, not active. I hope that doesn't make me actually treat anyone differently, but after all these threads, I'm beginning to get a bit paranoid myself. Maybe I do, without even realizing it. maybe it's just in subtle ways.

If this puts your mind at ease in any way: I rarely visit with my neighbors either, unless it's at some sort of meeting or activity. And since most meetings and activities around here are church-related, then naturally that's where it occurs. But unless we're standing around waiting to pick up our kids from preschool, or working on a committee or something, we really don't visit that much. I have very few friends that I actually call up and invite to do things. And believe me, I'm surrounded on all sides by people I know well from church. We're friendly, we wave and say hi, and that's it. Unless we're at an activity. So please don't feel like they're all having big parties behind your back or something. While some people do make close friendships, many are just like me. I hang with my own family the vast majority of the time. I occasionally invite someone else to do something, but it's rare.

Just a thought, you could always invite someone over for coffee "or juice" (said with an understanding smile) so they realize two things: a, you drink coffee...probably not mormon. b, you understand they don't drink coffee, and are willing to accommodate their beliefs in an attempt to get to know them better. I would bet 90% of the people you invited (if they're the type to socialize in the first place) would accept the invitation and be perfectly happy and comfortable doing so. Then you get the initial discomfort out of the way (is he or isn't he?) and can move on with the whole friendly neighbor thing.

[DP525]

Are there any particular favorite Mormon juices?

[shanenlori]

my favorite is Pepsi , but red punch seems to be a local favorite too.

[coolcats]

Originally Posted by DP525

Are there any particular favorite Mormon juices?

The ultimate LDS coffee substitute is postum.

Just joking don't offer that drink to anyone under 70. Seriously, just have a choice of coffee or soda or juice and you'll cover all your bases.

[chazcrew]

Originally Posted by coolcats

The ultimate LDS coffee substitute is postum.

Just joking don't offer that drink to anyone under 70. Seriously, just have a choice of coffee or soda or juice and you'll cover all your bases.

Ack! Ptooey! cough cough cough

That postum stuff is nas-tay. My parents used to drink it all the time, and they kept trying to get me to drink it. I don't know why. is it supposed to be healthy? bleh. Thanks for those unwelcome flashbacks.

On the soda thing...make sure some of it is non-caffeinated! =) And on the juice...no hard cider, kay? lol

[michelleleigh]

Are most shops closed on Sundays? Also what is the sales tax in utah on clothes food etc?

[LlasaLost]

Hey, DP---serve anything you want, just provide a variety---just like I assume you would have done in your former area. As to your paranoia: did you have that before, or after, reading some of the 'Oh, you've got to be afraid of the Mormons/they're horrible' posts on this site?

I've had non-Mormon friends wherever we've lived, they've had us to their home and served wine, etc., but were always considerate of our needs and had a substitute or two available to us.

I've never judged them because of what they drank, whether wine, beer, or Scotch---because they have not made the same commitments that I have---and they've never looked down on my choice because they've understood about my commitments, and never tried to tempt us otherwise. That's what real friends do.

The same with what one wears. Assume your DW doesn't parade around in the all-together (although I used to have a neighbor in CA who would greet her visitors in that state of un-dress!), nor did she shock the neighbors in your former community---so stop worrying (of course, if she did shock them then that's another matter--tee hee). As to your porch and your beer: it's your porch and your beer so I doubt if you'll cause a stir in the neighborhood, providing your not a obnoxious drunk!

Another thing: I don't know your religion (don't need to), but say you're a Lutheran, and the Catholics built a large abbey within your line-of-sight, would that make you feel like it was cementing your status of an "outsider"? So why would the existance of an LDS Temple be any bigger of a deal to you than an abbey? I'm making an assumption here that you would have no desire (other than casual) to enter a LDS temple, nor ever take part in the ceremonies within it to begin with---you personally would chose to be outside. So how can a temple's existance nearby make you feel like an outsider---being as, in this context, that's what you wish to be?

One more small thing: you may find that the person who asks you if you're "Mormon" (and, oh, I hope that doesn't happen) may not even be a member of the LDS Church but is feeling you out to see if you'll go along with a little Mormon-bashing (it happens).

Sincerely, I hope that you find your new house to truly be a home, that you find your neighbors friendly, that you find good friends, and that you come to admire that which is good about Utah--and feel at home here.

[greatdanes]

Eat, Drink And Be Merry - For Tomorrow You Could Be In Utah!

[MovinFromUT]

Originally Posted by DP525

My wife is angry that she feels she can't wear certain clothes for fear that the neighbors might stop letting their kids come over. I have to drive 10 miles to buy a bottle of wine or six-pack of "real" beer and then am afraid to sit on my large front porch and drink it for the same reason. We are afraid to invite someone over for a cup of coffee for fear of offending them. It is just different living here. And again, it might be mostly our own paranoia. But if we weren't in Utah we wouldn't be so paranoid. Maybe time will prove us wrong and I sincerely hope so. There is a lot of potential here and I hope we grow to like it and feel comfortable.

I do have to laugh about your "drinking beer on your front porch" comment. In our church we have "callings" IE: teaching primary, a calling over the youth, a bishop (he heads a ward), and the running joke is...."If you want to be released fast from your calling, have a ton of beer cans sitting out on your lawn". So maybe your member neighbors might just borrow a few of those cans.!! OK, you had to be there.
I do hope you are enjoying Utah. We are moving shortly, and I am going to miss it SOOO much. This has been a wonderful place to raise my kids, regardless of our religion. We live in a small community, and our community is very good at tying knots with EVERYONE in the community. The "non-members" kids are VERY encouraged to be active in scouts. It's a great way to join the community, without the religion. Our pastor here in town is very connected to the community, and we all respect and love him, but of course he is not LDS. My motto is, you make your own fun. I can tell you there are plenty of non-members in this state, or there wouldn't be state ran liquor stores, and private bars.
Invite your neighbors over.! You can drink your coffee, and they can bring their cannery "tang"....OK...long story...