Non-mormon family looking to relocate to Lehi (Salt Lake City: appointed, real estate)

[DP525]

Hey Simple and Magpies,

Great stuff! The wife and I were just talking about that. Let the Mormans have their culture and we continue to live our lives much as we always have. We were reading the Salt Lake Tribune when we were there and there was a letter to the editor about the Salt Lake mayor trying in vain to get the restrictive liquor laws changed. The guy writing the letter referred to the lawmakers as the 'church-islature". I about blew caffeine-filled Rum and Coke out of my nose. A sense of humor will be required to live there. Fortunately, with the beautiful city and the friendly people I think it will be really nice otherwise.

[MagpiesMagpiesMagpies]

Hey DP525,

The ignorance rule also applies for young ones. In Utah most certainly schoolkids who are non believers will generally not gel with the LDS kids. It just goes with the territory. But the good news is they will socialize and find solidarity with other non-LDS kids, as well as with a few local open minded types.

Even as an outsider my school years in Mormon country resulted in friendships that have lasted for over 20 years.

Good luck in UT!

Magpies

[simple]

It definately takes a sense of humor to live here!!!

[Englander the second]

Hi there, I am also relocating to SLC for a two year period in Oct of this year, I have a 8 year old boy and we are non LDS. Would love to hear from your early experiances as they happen to avoid same mistakes or repeat your success.

Same concern as you as to how my child will fit in, but as the replies on the thread, kids will be kids no matter where you are. Being from England, I also try to avoid British families when on holiday due to the 'chad' factor so I am looking forward to coming to america.

I am going with an open mind, love the american attitide to life, and you all seem so friendly!

Cant wait, like to keep thread open with you as you move.

[MagpiesMagpiesMagpies]

Originally Posted by Englander the second

Hi there, I am also relocating to SLC for a two year period in Oct of this year, I have a 8 year old boy and we are non LDS. Would love to hear from your early experiances as they happen to avoid same mistakes or repeat your success.

Hi Englander,

I can give you a side-by-side opinion of both places as I spent time growing up in Utah and lived in the UK for a number of years. (my moniker comes from being a Newcastle supporter!)

Your kids will have a distinct advantage of having the accent, which will give them instant cachet wherever they live in this country. Second, your kids will find that schools are much more centers of activity than schools in the UK. Sports, after-hours clubs, etc. are all part of the educational program here. This will give your son teriffic opportunities to find other kids who share his interests.

If anything your biggest challenge is going to be enduring endless stories from people about their great-great-granduncle's cousin twice removed who came from Liverpool. LDS folk are tireless geneaologists.

Good luck!
Magpies

[Ommina]

My advice is to run far, run fast in the opposite direction if you are not LDS and looking to move to Utah County. Yes, on an individual basis, 99% of the LDS people I have met are kind and thoughtful. However as a group, they will shun you, attempt to convert you, and impose their standards on you; you are expected to quietly comply.

When I first moved to Utah it was to Lehi, and I had a major culture shock because of these reasons. I had no idea that Utah was so religiously oriented. I have since moved on to a slightly less pressurized LDS community, however there are still biases, even among my co-workers, with whom I happen to love working. There seems to be an unspoken rule (and I have witnessed it in the many families I work with) that if you are not LDS you are a drunk, junkie, immoral, etc.

Now that my daughter is entering school, I fear that she will be subjected to regular attempts at conversion, if only just to meet the status quo. I have spoken with other kids and parents in non-LDS families, and my fears are based on what I have learned from their experiences. If you want your children to absolutely feel like an outcast and be treated as less of a person because they don't attend seminary during school hours or attend the LDS church every Sunday, stay far away; the caste system is alive and well in Utah.

[babydawn]

I just found this thread on accident (I was looking for the Idaho thread, go figure) and I had to pipe in. I am LDS and I am competely shocked and sickened by how some of you have been treated. Our chruch teaches to "Love thy neighbor as thyself" at no time, does it say, "only if they are mormon." Please listen to the other LDS people who seem to actually LIVE what we believe and accept a heartfelt apology for those who have been hurt or whose children have been hurt.

[shanenlori]

Hey, I just want to share a few of my thoughts. I was born and raised in Utah county, and evolved into a "Utah Mormon". "Utah Mormons" are generally shelterd their whole life and are afraid that "Outsiders" will bring bad influnce to their children. They tend to have closed minds and strong opinions. After I was married, we moved to Mesa,AZ. It was a huge culture shock for me as I stepped out of my sheltered comfort zone and into the real world. Looking back now I think it was the best choice I have ever made. I was able to meet many people from all walks of life, culture, and religion. Many, with very different beliefs than my own. I found it so refreshing to learn about others and develop relationships with them. All four of my children were born there and I was able to teach them about respecting all people. I am a much better person for my experience. We just recently moved back to Utah and I am excited to be back home. I was very surprised that the community I moved into is only about 50% LSD. My kids naturally want to make friends. I have never said they could only play with children that are LDS. But I do want to know the parents and families of the children, so I have tried to get to know my neighbors. Good people are everywhere. I am glad to have neighbors that may have had experiences that my children and family can learn from. I'm sorry to say, utah county is full of "Utah Mormons", and they can be pushy and opionated. Most have not had the oportunity to get out of their comfort zone and have new experience. I apologize if you run into one, but they can be reformed. They need to have oportunities to mingle with families like yours. My advice, get to know the neighbors. Maybe you can start a trend and help others around you know there are good people that aren't LSD and how lucky they are to have you join their comunity.

[schlumpy]

After reading these posts, I had to chuckle to myself a little. I am a "life-time" Mormon, but never lived in Utah until my adulthood. Living in the Mid-West or Bible-Belt and being the only LDS family in the neighborhood, we were often shunned. Other families (Catholic, Baptist, Born Again) told their children not to play with our family. How cruel all religions can be! But not all Baptist, Catholics, or Born Agains were that way. We had many friends from many faiths.

If your young non-LDS child is being treated cruelly by LDS children, invite them into your home and calmly and gently explain the harm they are doing. Reinforce the importance of friendships with all kinds of children and families. If it continues, I would approach the parents (and remember, as with all people, you will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar). I know most LDS parents would bend over backwards to teach their children to be kind, not cruel. And also remember, parents don't always know how their kid is behaving when he's not around.

As for teenagers, any clique will pick on any other clique, no matter race, religion, athletic abilities, looks, money, etc. This seems to be a common, but horrible growth stage for most teens everywhere.

It's not easy being the religious minority, but I think all faiths can make it in Utah.

[mybidnez]

Starling mentioned that it's probably wise to seek out a non-LDS neighborhood in SLC when moving into the area. I'm looking at a possible job transfer to downtown SLC and wonder if someone could list the communities that are non-Mormon friendly. Our children have left the nest, so that's not a concern. And I'm a "recovering Catholic," so church isn't so much of a concern either