Non-mormon family looking to relocate to Lehi (Sandy, Draper: transplants, wedding)

[shanenlori]

living in st george,
I think alot of the problems you are having, have a lot to do with your specific neighborhood/community. Not all LDS people are so rigid. I have let my children play with many children that are not LDS, as long as I had met their parents. My experience has been that my kids don't care what religion a playmate is. They make friend easily and just want to play and have fun. All 4 of my children were born outside of Utah and were raised in a neighborhood where only a few neighbors were LDS. The experience has helped me to have a more open mind where this issue is concerned. I'm sorry you are frustrated and having difficulty in your area. There are a lot of homes for sale in Davis county. I feel it is a pretty diverse/open minded area (as far as Utah is concerned.) Good luck, feel free to pm me if you want to vent more or just want a sympathetic shoulder.
LORI

[RCL]

Originally Posted by neo

I have read with interest this long and passionate thread about moving to Utah, the LDS Church, and how people treat others here. I have a somewhat different perspective to add than what has been posted so far. But first, I will give some background about myself.

I am active LDS, and was born and raised in the church. I was born in Salt Lake City, and for the more part of my life, I have lived somewhere in Utah. I have also lived in a number of other states, including Texas, Colorado, New Mexico, Florida and others. (My family moved extensively as I was growing up.) I currently live in the Salt Lake area, and have for several years.

I'll say this straight out - Utah is not the nicest state (it's not the meanest, either - Florida takes that spot, from among the states I've lived in). And, although the LDS Church is a very significant factor here in Utah, I do not believe it is the reason so many people treat others badly here. Compared to states like Texas, Utahns are cold, unhappy, impatient and very selfish people. People have a "leave me alone" attitude, it's nearly impossible to make REAL friends, and don't even get me started on all the road rage problems. All of this is just as true of the non-LDS here as it is of the LDS, if not more so. Now, of course not everyone here is this way. But too many are, and it is a big reason my wife and I are planning to move. Basically, the way I see Utah is as a cold, northern state. Generally speaking, there is a distinct difference between people in northern states and people down south, and Utah is no exception.

Like others in this forum, I've been treated badly by people in Utah; I've been excluded, ridiculed, and so forth as I grew up. And it wasn't because I'm not LDS. As I stated earlier, I've been an active member all my life. Some of the nasty people here who happen to be LDS do indeed sometimes use their religion as a club. But if they were non-LDS, they would be just as mean and would no doubt find some other instrument to abuse others with. And all of the flaming Mormon-haters (many of whom are former LDS members who were excommunicated for adultery or something similar) running around this city raising hell are certainly not helping the situation.

My wife and I have been in our current house in the Salt Lake area for over four years. Since we first moved in, we have tried over and over and over to extend ourselves socially to the other young couples in our ward (for the non-LDS, a "ward" is a local LDS congregation). We have tried to make friends, being proactive and not just waiting for people to make friends with us. This has worked to some small extent. We have managed to form one casual aquaintanceship with another family - but that's it. More often that not, our dinner invitations and other offers of social interaction have been rejected, sometimes rudely. "We're too busy" is the usual and totally lame excuse we get. Of course, it's not that they're too busy; it's that they aren't interested in anything other than their own little lives.

Meanwhile, there are the aforementioned bigots standing around outside the Salt Lake Temple grounds, often dressed in strange clothing, waiving hateful signs, screaming at couples who have just been married in the temple, passing out anti-Mormon literature and generally putting on a freak show.

Enough is enough. I have tried. I have tried to live here with my family, make friends and just get along. It isn't working - either with the LDS or the non-LDS. As soon as I graduate from college in several months, we are off to Texas.

A friend of mine uses the phrase Utards.

He is LDS and grew up here, and is very cool about not judging others for any reason.
Wish there were more people in the world like him actually, both LDS and non-LDS alike.

[shanenlori]

Hey, Sometimes I refer to us as Utards as well. Funny. We all make mistakes. Roll with it.

[Elder_Shawn]

Originally Posted by shanenlori

Hey, Sometimes I refer to us as Utards as well. Funny. We all make mistakes. Roll with it.

My wife calls me that too!

[coolcats]

Originally Posted by New_Yorker

Utah is one big freak show. Grab the circus midgets and leave town.

Now that is funny coming from someone in New York City.

[New_Yorker]

And in the center ring..... Utah.

Originally Posted by coolcats

Now that is funny coming from someone in New York City.

[Spionen]

DP,

Have you looked at areas around Lehi such as Saratoga Springs or other developments on the west side of Utah Lake? There are new homes going up all around us here and I think the non-Mormons are pretty comfortable or at least my neighbors who are non-Mormons seem to be. I work for a semiconductor company that is also involved in the Intel/Micron fab. Nice area and not a bad commute. If you are into ATV and plinking at tin cans this is a fun area.

[DP525]

We did look at Saratoga Springs. It was really nice but the two lane into it was a concern. And like the rest of Northern Utah County, the swarm of LDS churches can be very intimidating to a non-member. We have been in Utah now for three days and have been covering Sandy, Draper, and Daybreak in South Jordan. I can't believe how much we have to spend on a house to live as we did in Colorado. Oh well. It should be a good investment if property values continue to rise here.

We were fairly impressed by Daybreak today. It is a neat little community. I got the feeling that there might be a lot of religious and ethnic diversity there. At the very least, maybe the LDS that are there are more open to others??? As close as the houses are to each other and considering the sense of close-knit community that must come from the shared parks, gardens, etc., who could afford to be un-neighborly? I even had a couple of people wave as we drove through. Can't say that about the other areas we have been checking out.

Anybody have any input about Daybreak?

[coolcats]

My wife's sister and husband live in daybreak. It might be good for some people, but its not for me because I like larger yards and no HOA fees.

Pros -- Good ammenities (trails, parks, pools, lake etc.), community landscaping, progressive neighborhood design.

Cons -- Overpriced (in my opinion), high HOA fees (they doubled them on my wife's sister recently), houses too close together.

Good luck with the house search. The areas you have been looking are some of the more expensive areas of the valley, but they are nice areas.

[DP525]

We had the same concerns about Daybreak. The houses are quite pricey considering the small lots. But that can be a bit deceiving. The lots under 0.10 acre usually sit around a common yard area with several other homes. This would be nice considering the common areas are maintained by the association but could be bad for someone with a dog (like us). We looked again yesterday and ended up putting in an offer on a different type of home there. It actually has a .21 acre lot and is a very nice home with the cool older-looking exterior. But it is very modern with energy star certification and ethernet cable to each room. The street it is on is just like a normal street except all the houses are retro with garages set back from the street and huge front porches. We are 2.5 blocks from the new Daybreak Elementary which is also about the nicest elementary school I have ever seen and as big as a lot of high schools. I will be 18 miles from the IM Flash fab which is more than I had hoped for but still quiet reasonable. There is a new large shopping area going in just east of the Daybreak border with several stores already open. We even met a couple who moved from Canada last night while our kids were playing at the school. I believe Daybreak will prove to be quiet diverse. We are hoping to have a positive response from the seller today.

The HOA fee of $75 monthly includes Qwest high speed internet via fiber optic cable to the house (thats worth $50 right there). All houses in Daybreak have fiber cable access. It also includes access to the very nice fitness center along with the splash pool, lake, trails, etc. And as each section is built it will have its own unique amenity that all Daybreak residents will have access to. So the $75 monthly will actually end up saving us money!

We are quiet excited after three days of house hunting without finding much. This is someplace that I will be glad to go home to. Hope we get it!!!