Questions about being Non-LDS in Utah (St. George, Cache: closing, moving, backyard)

[abnelson]

First, I agree with whoever said this is supposed to be a city site and not a religious debate. But since we're there I do have to say it hurts to hear "Mormons" being put down. I think I'm a "good Mormon"...not perfect; I sometimes yell at my grand daughter and the dog. But I have non LDS friends, friends who drink coffee, and probably smoke and/or drink alcohol - but not around me. I'd help ANY neighbor in need, and I don't ask the children who play with my grand daughter what religion they are. I really don't care as long as they are somewhat respectful and don't use bad language. I think there are a lot more of "us" around than you give us credit for.

Why can't those of you who have had bad experiences just say you had bad "neighbors", or some kids or families you were around were ignorant or unfriendly? If I come across someone who is a "jerk" I don't ask him/her what religion they are so I can hate Baptists or Hindu's or something. People are people whatever religion they are or profess to be. Some "Mormons" haven't been to church in years and aren't good examples of our faith. And even if they called themselves Methodists they wouldn't be very good examples of that church either. And some active church-going LDS aren't good examples either...but it's because they are people - not because they are Mormon. Give us a chance, look for the good in others....some of them may be Mormon.

[Calibelle]

Originally Posted by scirocco22

Thanks for sharing your thought, Calibelle. It's heartwarming to hear you say such words because it once again shores up my belief that LDS are tolerant, open-minded people.

--'rocco

Hey no problem! I am just glad I could put a positive spin on things! It can get really frusterating sometimes in Utah, and coming from another state and actually experiencing it, really opened my eyes. It taught me that I so DON'T want to be judgemental. I want our kids to experience all types of friends from different backgrounds and religions. Diversity, is what makes our world beautiful, and interesting. In fact.... when I was living in Utah Valley, most of my dearest friends were Catholic, or non- practicing LDS. It just doesn't matter. Good friends are good friends.

All the best!!!

[Calibelle]

Originally Posted by abnelson

Why can't those of you who have had bad experiences just say you had bad "neighbors", or some kids or families you were around were ignorant or unfriendly? If I come across someone who is a "jerk" I don't ask him/her what religion they are so I can hate Baptists or Hindu's or something. People are people whatever religion they are or profess to be. Some "Mormons" haven't been to church in years and aren't good examples of our faith. And even if they called themselves Methodists they wouldn't be very good examples of that church either. And some active church-going LDS aren't good examples either...but it's because they are people - not because they are Mormon. Give us a chance, look for the good in others....some of them may be Mormon.

I know that your comment was in no response to what I said. Most people who have been voicing their negative experiences with LDS, were talking about their experiences in Utah.

I am LDS, and as I mentioned, I grew up in California. I was one of few LDS kids in my school, and I stood out to everyone because of the way that I chose to live. When you are raised outside of Utah, where you are a minority (meaning low population of LDS), you have a completely different outlook on the world. Growing up in Utah, you are in the "IN CROWD" if you are in the church, and you are part of the "OUT CROWD" if you are not in the church. I think the solution would be for LDS families in Utah to instill deeper into their children that it is ok to befriend others, even if they don't live or practice the same religion as you, that there is nothing to be afraid of. People need to travel, and spend time in other places out side of Utah, to allow their children to see what the rest of the world is like. I don't care what anyone says, living in certain parts of Utah, is like living on a different planet. Let me tell you, I have lived in several states, and several different countries, and Utah is the only place I have ever experienced such a HIGH NUMBER of LDS judging me, chastising me, and shunning people once they learn that certain families are less active, or non LDS. Does this attitude exhists among LDS outside of Utah? Sure it does. But like I mentioned, there is just a way higher number of people with attitudes like this in Utah.

I agree with you, that this is a city website, not a religious discussion forum. But the truth is, there are certain social aspects that go hand in hand with the fact that the majority of the Utah population is LDS. So for topics like this, you will always get responses that are directed at others, because they are LDS.

I wish that people could look at their neighbors, and be annoyed with them for being unkind neighbors, and not associate that with them being LDS. But the truth is, when you live in Utah, that "Holier than thou" attitude, or the need to completely shelter your children from the evils of this world, exhists at a higher rate then any other place I have ever lived. It makes me really sad to see such a divide among people, good people.

I did meet some wonderful people in Utah, both LDS, and Non-LDS. I am still great friends with them. I have family in Utah. My husband and I are even going to be scoping out the Salt Lake area soon, in hopes that we will find an area that has the social atmosphere that we want for our family. I love Utah, I love the mountains, and that the church is abundant, which makes it easier for us to live our religion to it's fullest. But living the LDS religion to it's fullest, does not mean that we need to shelter our children from everyone, and everything that does not live or practice the way we do.

But to all the non LDS who might be reading this, abnelson has a great point, and I agree with him. If you have a bad experience with and LDS person or persons, don't think we are all like that. People aren't perfect, regardless of their religion. But as I said in my previous post, I sincerely apologise if you have ever felt mistreated or left out, because of an LDS church member. It is my hope that we can all start looking for the good in all people, and stop being afraid of our differences.

[smithmi]

So it's difficult for me to believe that some would be so closed-minded that they wouldn't let their child come visit my house just because I drink coffee. Perhaps the two previous posters I'm referring to possibly acquired that belief because of their being in law inforcement for years which could've tainted their views of people in general. As I've said before, it's absurd to feel that way. They seem to be intelligent and educated so it surprises me that they feel the way they do. They scurry around the issue and try to defend their position. They try to backtrack and justify their words. They make excuses. But I can "feel" that in their heart, that's their true belief. They have that right but I feel sad.
Don't feel sad for me, Bad things happen to good people, every day. I don't recall ever saying I would not let my kids play with yours because you drink coffee. The point behind what I said was to understand "Who" your kids are playing with. If I were to sit down with you for a few minutes my kids would be outside playing with yours. The one point I want to make with everyone is to "Know who your kids are playing with" I don't care what religon they are, don't care what color they are. Understanding who they are is extremly important. Yes my years in law enforcement have tainted me, don't feel sad for that, just beware. Elizabeth Smart knew her dirtbag assailent as a person her parents trusted. Daniel Davis and his 4 friends knew and associated with his "Friend". His parents called him "uncle" after about 2 weeks so it made it OK to go with him. I was one of the people who dug them up. Travis Bowden was a kid that trusted in his moms "Friend" and was only going swimming with him. I could go on for awhile but I think you get the point. The only thing I am saying, and I think every post has said this, get to know who your kids are playing with. "Shelter," as many posts have slammed me for, your kids until you know otherwise. You know you are a good person, Your mom knows you are a good person, and even your bishop knows you are a good person, But until I know you are, I'm going to judge you by your lifestyle, your history, your attitude, and even your activities with kids.
I don't beleive I mentioned religion. Yep, that plays a part too. Sheltered...Hmmmmmm. Maybe, but at the end of the day......My kids are home. Warren Jeffs is off the streets so it reduces the concern a little but their is another 500 just like him in Utah.

[jenks9]

Who would want to live near all those mormons anyway. The posts on this site that have mentioned that once the mormons find out that they will not convert you to LDS they want nothing to do with you is true. The mormons are a cult, do the researcha nd you will see and the mormons really can't back up what they will try to preach to you.

[SergeantL]

Originally Posted by jenks9

do the researcha nd you will see.

HEY, I remember you, but I thought you were from "Nah Hampsha."

"Researcha" is definitely Italian, and the "nd" is either German or Dutch; although, it would be spelled "und." Come on, fess up, you're really one of the wine testers at the Italian Swiss Colony Winery in California. I love the shorts you guys wear, and those old "Little Old Winemaker" commercials were great. Let's see, was it Tommy or Dicky Smothers that bought you guys out? I miss their show, too.

Confidentially, I wouldn't like the Mormons either, if they told people not to drink my products. Guys gotta make a living, you know.

[Calibelle]

Originally Posted by jenks9

Who would want to live near all those mormons anyway. The posts on this site that have mentioned that once the mormons find out that they will not convert you to LDS they want nothing to do with you is true. The mormons are a cult, do the researcha nd you will see and the mormons really can't back up what they will try to preach to you.

This is the oldest argument/statement about the LDS church in the book. If you read material that is written by people who are NOT LDS, and anti-mormon, then this is exactly the type of perspective you will get. There is nothing about our church that is a cult, we do not practice anything that is evil. We don't sacrifice babies in our temples, baptise corpses, or have freaky religious ceremonies. It's funny, when I meet people who have never really been around people from the LDS faith, or who have never taken the time to have a calm discussion about about how we worship, the first things that are mentioned are that we are polygamists, and a cult. Couldn't be farther from the truth.

The only thing I can say, is to discuss it with a practicing LDS member, don't read material written by a person who is not of the LDS faith, you will always get mis-information, and a skewed view. If I wrote a book all about the Catholic faith, having never been Catholic, I am sure I would mis-understand a lot of things, and get things wrong. It is the same when people who are not members of the LDS church write books about how we practice, and what we believe.

This is the only thing I will say in response to your comment. It doesn't bother me what anyone thinks about my religion, especially when they don't have the first clue about what my religion is all about. If you did know the basics of our religion, you would never make an empty comment like this. I don't expect people to believe everything that I believe, but I do expect them to learn about my religion from the horses mouth, not just come out and call it a cult.

Just because someone doesn't convert to LDS by knowing me, doesn't mean I want nothing else to do with them. My best friend of 20 years is Catholic. She knows all about my church, and I know about hers. We both know that I will never be Catholic, and she will never be Mormon, and that is fine with us. We both respect eachothers religions very much.

[sdmlions]

Originally Posted by SergeantL

HEY, I remember you, but I thought you were from "Nah Hampsha."

"Researcha" is definitely Italian, and the "nd" is either German or Dutch; although, it would be spelled "und." Come on, fess up, you're really one of the wine testers at the Italian Swiss Colony Winery in California. I love the shorts you guys wear, and those old "Little Old Winemaker" commercials were great. Let's see, was it Tommy or Dicky Smothers that bought you guys out? I miss their show, too.

Confidentially, I wouldn't like the Mormons either, if they told people not to drink my products. Guys gotta make a living, you know.

One thing i'm finding about LDS folks, in this forum at the least, is that you can laugh off any hatred and/or negativity. It's really refreshing. I laughed my butt off from that post, and the one b4 it made me squirm. There are so many other places in the world, not just this country, where men would let these comments get to them.
Wie gehts du? lol

[SergeantL]

Originally Posted by sdmlions

Wie gehts du? lol

Ich füehle gut, Dank!

[jenks9]

Sorry for the miss spelling, I am from New Hampshire and have been to SLC and Idaho and I know mormons and married a former LDS who left the church. So I do know a little bit about the topic. I find it odd that from a group that states they are not a cult to claim they are the "one true church".