Questions about being Non-LDS in Utah (St. George, Bountiful: credit, relocating, work)

[smithmi]

Coolcats,
Here is what I have seen with my own eyes over my public safety career.
OD by a mother that gave a friend of her 4 year old oxycontin thinking it was asprin. She did say sorry.
Another OD of unknown kind of a kid that picked up some kind of drug off the floor and ate it. This one was not a good outcome.
Countless cases of sexual abuse on children.
A fatal fire of a kid locked in the closet, this was many years ago. Made national news.
In fairness I will say that in my years as a cop I was only called to a house when something went really wrong. I don't know how many cases go on that don't get reported to the police. I would guess a lot. I spent my life seeing the bad things. Yes this stuff really does happen. People really do get sin out of their cupboard as stated before. I know I am tainted by my career and I know their is good people in the world. But I have seen the bad. (Should have been a McDonalds worker.)
Unfortunatly my kids are going to pay the price.

[arctica]

REBL: i find your story interesting-- you said you have 2 little kids under school age, yet was told to go to singles ward...hmmm. that is odd, as singles wards are geared to singles without children, and don't offer nursery, primary etc; and all the moms, single or married, at least here are attending family wards.

in Kearns, attending boyfriend's ward-- you do not get callings in any other ward other than the one in the boundaries you live in. (stake callings you serve within the stake).. also, people are asked to attend in their own ward boundaries for many reasons-- ; attending another ward makes it harder for you to serve as i said above, you can't hold a calling in another ward; and most importantly have the support of your ward leaders and fellow ward members-- having and serving as visiting teachers, home teachers, so on so forth, i don't see how one can really participate fully unless they attend their own ward.

same with the university ward-- i don't know how they worded it, sounds like you got your feelings hurt, but it really is the same issue, you should attend your home ward for all the reasons mentioned above.

sounds like the 3rd time the situation was controversial to begin with--living in a house where the husband wants you to be but the wife does not--most people just would not go there..... a lady in the RS can not request you to leave, nor does the RS prez have the authority to do so...but it can be very unpleasant to not to be welcome, that is true.

i too have been offended at church, just expect it to happen, people are not perfect and a lot of them are very far from it.

[arctica]

to the person who wrote about the LDS kids not playing with his/her kids-- i am raising a large LDS family in the Northwest, there is a large majority of another religion here, we are very much in minority here, so i know what you are feeling.

there is at least 50% majority of these kids in the schools, as they have very large families. sometimes there is just a handful of kids who are not of that faith. they do not allow tv, cutting hair for girls, no make up, no organized sports. they are very hardworking, honest, good people, and they very much keep to themselves.

we have been here for 17 years, and i have realized that they will never include my kids. my kids are good kids and would not tempt them in any way. but, they call us "worldly". as they call everyone outside their religion.

except for a very few exceptions, they don't come over to play. we have a tv, our girls have haircuts...

i don't think it is that they think that we will lead their kids astray, as i have talked to enough of them, but they have enough friends and family of their own kind, they don't need us..and they don't want their kids seeing the tv, they don't want them exposed..it gives them nothing positive that adds to their lives to socialize with us.

i believe the only way we would be "in" with them, is if we were to join them.

we have a small ward LDS ward here, we have a lot of activities there for our kids, our kids go to early morning seminary and meet the other LDS kids there, they go to stake dances and hang out. we have to make our own social life, my kids have friends who are lds, and a lot of friends who are not, as most of the kids at school are not LDS, but none of this majority religion, as i said, they have so many friends of their own kind that they mix very little.

[scirocco22]

artica, just out of curiosity since I'm a NW native, what is that "majority" religion you are referring to?

--'rocco

[shanenlori]

Jest, The way I will answer your question is simply that parents feel that they are protecting their children from something. I know it is hard to understand because your beliefs are different. Alot of the things mormons believe and do
seem weird to others not from the LDS religion. I stated earlier that sheltering a child will only cause questions and curiosity, but I feel that some believe that it is just the opposite. That keeping a child from a bad influnce will protect them. I think my children need to learn there are all types of people in this world and they need to be able to get along with eveyone, regardless of religion, race and personal choices. I am in no way saying what you are doing is bad. I hope the point I am making is coming accross.

Mormons doctorine teaches that we are all God's children, we should not judge another person, we should love our neighbor, and we have all been given free agency to make our own choices.

I know it is not a good answer, but I think some parents think they are doing their kids a favor by dictating who they can and can not play with. As a parent it is their right. Is it the morally right thing to do? That is another question.

[scirocco22]

Originally Posted by shanenlori

<snip>

Mormons doctorine teaches that we are all God's children, we should not judge another person, we should love our neighbor, and we have all been given free agency to make our own choices.

<snip>

Hi Lori ...well, I said I would stay out of this discussion but here I am again.

That paragraph of yours says it all. If that's what your doctrine teaches then I shouldn't have to refer to any Mormon as narrow-minded.

Again, what I can't understand is why my drinking coffee necessarily and/or exclusively makes me an immoral person of which your children will learn from my bad and immoral ways if I should have them in my home.

Because, in fact, I have had LDS children in my home. I've "looked after" my Mormon friends' children many times in the past --not just one family's children but several-- with never any seemingly hesitation on their part. I guess that's how much we've valued the closeness of our friendship. For them to leave their children with me, a non-Mormon, actually says an enormous amount about our friendship.

The point I'm making here is, they see us (me) as an individual ...a good individual, a moral individual and even though not a member of their church, find it within themselves to trust me just because of "who" I am. I'd be hurt if they even thought that I'd "teach" their children to drink coffee. Like you, they believe they're teaching their children what is expected of them and if done correctly, they're not worried about them seeing me or anyone else drinking coffee. They don't drink coffee, they've taught their children that it's not what's expected of them and consequently, they're not concerned about their children seeing other adults drinking coffee. As you stated, they can't shelter their children from observing any adult from drinking coffee!! ...or doing anything else, for that matter.

Once again, I apologize for calling anyone on this board narrow-minded but again, Pleeeeeeease! ...give us non-Mormons more credit than that! We're not all scoundrels!

--'rocco

[REBL]

Arctica, the kids came along much later. Like I said, Kearns was 12 years ago. I was 22. My kids are little now. I had been attending that ward for months. The calling thing was kind of a joke (I know they don't translate well on these forums). I know you can't be called if it's not your ward. I also know RS people have no right to kick someone out, which I clarified didn't happen in earlier posts. They expressed I didn't belong. Hard to go get along when they express directly to you that you aren't wanted. The singles ward in the area I lived in was filled with older people and all of my friends went to the University ward. I went one time and was told to go somewhere else. Not received with open arms. Feelings not hurt, more stunned by the lack of fellowshipping. Like I said, born and raised in the LDS church, know how it works and know what I ran into when I moved to Utah. I don't expect people to be offensive to me, I will not expect that. I expect people to be kind and decent to each other. I guess I'm a glass half full kinda person.

[jest721]

I am surprised by some of your responses. No one actually admits to this in practice. Strange, I have no problem letting my children play at your house even though your wife is probably hopped up on Prozac, but coffee!?! Absolutely not.
Even suicide bombers put rational thought into thier decisions. (Absolutley misguided and evil, but that is only because they believe in a cause that is misguided and evil) I can't believe no one has anything approaching a logical support of this.

[smithmi]

WOW! jest721,
If their was a point in that I sure missed it. Help me out.

[jest721]

My point is this: I am asking avery simple question, and the best answer seems to be, because have every right to do what they want with their children. I am certain there is something a little less shallow than this. It is a conscious decision, not one simply made on a whim, and it seems to be practiced extensively, and without explanation or justification. The prozac comment was just a little jab.