Questions about being Non-LDS in Utah (Salt Lake City, Sandy: cul-de-sac, ski resorts, low crime)

[sdb158]

I have been considering moving my family to the Greater Salt Lake area (north) or Heber/Kamas area but am very concerned about the fact that we are non-LDS and intend to remain that way. I've heard two sides: that it will be a problem, especially for my 3 children and that it won't be a problem, not even for my children.

Here is what we are looking for:
*Low crime
*Friendly people / neighbors
*Good schools
*Large lots, 2+ acres (possible horse property)
*Nearby outdoor recreational opportunities
*Not looked down on or rejected because we are non-LDS

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

[maxiney]

I was born and raised in Utah, and we are Buddhist, actually. I found it quite difficult, especially when I reached high school, to connect with many of my peers because I wasn't LDS. They are very nice and friendly people, but it is a very close, tight-knit community, and it is very difficult for non-LDS to penetrate this community. It was a similar case for my parents, who were on friendly terms with the neighbors, but never really became close with most of them. Other than that, Utah is a great place for a family; it is very safe, people are friendly, and it is a very family-oriented community. The ski resorts are great, and the mountains are beautiful.

[ez2bfriend]

Things that you are looking for, except for the last item, are in abundance here in Utah. The last item (related to a non-LDS affiliation) is controversial at the best.

Not directly answering your question, but in general terms. Many times I feel that the ideal non-LDS to live in Utah would be a couple who do not have children of school age. A couple because, if you are single, the chances of finding a compatible non-LDS relationship are not that great. And you will not see that social life is opening its doors welcoming you within the LDS circles either, that is a majority. If you are open to the idea of exploring the LDS faith, you'll certainly find some doors open for you. As for children, unless we are talking Park City area (and maybe some areas in Salt Lake), their healthy socializing with peers will likely be too curtailed, compared with other States. The mountains are beautiful, and nature is gorgeous, though. Good luck!

[trailrunner1516]

I've been living in Utah for almost four years now, and, while I don't have children, I work in the schools, and so I can see the LDS/non-LDS issue from both adult & child perspective. Salt Lake City itself is actually relatively diverse, especially in neighborhoods near the University/Sugarhouse area. That would probably be a much better fit than Heber City, which is still predominately LDS and has a very small-town feel. However, if you're looking for horse property, then of course Heber City would make a lot more sense than a home in the middle of the city. Up in the mountains east of the city (where Heber is located), the closer you are to Park City, the homes are more expensive but the people are more liberal & diverse. Another Utah option would be somewhere up near Clearfield/Layton if you're looking for horse property. Depends on how close you want to be to the airport & what your price range is. There is outdoor recreation pretty much anywhere in Utah, so it depends on how you define "close." Is close five minutes or an hour? If your budget will tolerate it, there are some very nice homes close to the canyons that boast large lots on the East Bench in the Sandy/Draper area.

[snowflake73]

We moved here due to military. We're Non-LDS. We live in Layton. Even though everybody -- 95 percent -- is LDS at Layton High, my daughter still loves it there. Her teachers care about her. And from what I know, there really isn't much of a drug problem.

I, on the other hand, who's a non-LDS 33-year-old woman, feel out of place here. I love living here because of the mountains, low crime, beautiful sunsets, quiet neighborhoods, nice neighbors, lots to do. But it's very different and very hard to make friends who aren't LDS.

So with that said, my daughter and I will be leaving here when my fiance is at the point where he has one year left with the Air Force, which will be this summer.

[SergeantL]

Originally Posted by snowflake73

{I}t's…very hard to make friends who aren't LDS.

I wonder whether you would be willing to answer some questions:

• What is wrong with LDS friends?
  
• What is it about their conduct you don’t like?
  
• When you say it is hard to make friends who aren’t LDS, do you mean non-LDS are difficult to befriend because of their behavior, or do you mean there just aren’t many around?

[snowflake73]

There's nothing wrong with having LDS friends. My LDS neighbors are some of the nicest people ever. All I can say is they just stick together. And if you're not one of them, they don't bother with you.

[SergeantL]

Originally Posted by snowflake73

There's nothing wrong with having LDS friends. My LDS neighbors are some of the nicest people ever. All I can say is they just stick together. And if you're not one of them, they don't bother with you.

Thanks for the reply, but I wonder whether you would be willing to go into more detail? I am sure there are a number of LDS on this forum—including me—who would appreciate knowing how to make non-LDS neighbors feel more welcome. It seems apparent from the posts on this forum that non-LDS in Utah feel excluded, and I for one would like to know what I could do to help eliminate those feelings.

When you say LDS don’t “bother” with you, do you mean they do not socialize with you other than a wave from across the street? What could we do to be more neighborly and make you feel included?

[thwrosdlton]

I have no idea if my new neighbors are LDS or not. I'm the 3rd family to move into a 5 house cul-de-sac. I'm not sure how long the two other families have been living here, but I would guess less than a month. One guy in his truck waved as he was backing into his driveway, but nobody has come over to say "hi, welcome, we're new here too".

Even though I had 4 relocubes(shipping containers) on my driveway for 6 days nobody came over and offered to help. Don't get me wrong. My new neighbors may end up being great in the future when we're all settled, but their first impression has been less than welcoming. I just hope that their cold reception has nothing to do with the fact that I'm not white. But anyway it looks like I'm going to have to be the one to break the ice.(pun intented since the temps are in single digits here.)

The point I'm making and it really has nothing to do with LDS/NON LDS is that there is a difference between being friends and being FRIENDS. My former neighbors in CA said they were going to miss us because even though the other neighbors were nice and waved we were the only ones who made an effort to talk to them.

What I'm getting from reading the forums is that the NON LDS feel like the LDS are all nice and some are "friends", but very few become "FRIENDS". I think most people moving to Utah are just unaccustomed to having their religion being an issue when making friends.

[coolcats]

Originally Posted by thwrosdlton

I have no idea if my new neighbors are LDS or not. I'm the 3rd family to move into a 5 house cul-de-sac. I'm not sure how long the two other families have been living here, but I would guess less than a month. One guy in his truck waved as he was backing into his driveway, but nobody has come over to say "hi, welcome, we're new here too".

Even though I had 4 relocubes(shipping containers) on my driveway for 6 days nobody came over and offered to help. Don't get me wrong. My new neighbors may end up being great in the future when we're all settled, but their first impression has been less than welcoming. I just hope that their cold reception has nothing to do with the fact that I'm not white. But anyway it looks like I'm going to have to be the one to break the ice.(pun intented since the temps are in single digits here.)

The point I'm making and it really has nothing to do with LDS/NON LDS is that there is a difference between being friends and being FRIENDS. My former neighbors in CA said they were going to miss us because even though the other neighbors were nice and waved we were the only ones who made an effort to talk to them.

What I'm getting from reading the forums is that the NON LDS feel like the LDS are all nice and some are "friends", but very few become "FRIENDS". I think most people moving to Utah are just unaccustomed to having their religion being an issue when making friends.

Sorry to hear you haven't had the best welcome. At least you didn't just jump to conclusions though. I was at a get together yesterday with someone who had moved from North Carolina to Texas. She was saying how much more friendly people in Texas were than NC. I'm beginning to think maybe it really is luck of the draw no matter where you go.