Utah Valley - Can we be allowed to share our experiences? (Salt Lake City: sale, rental)

[Kermusique]

hey just moved here recently and read your post i moved here from ny and i'm non-lds and having a hard time, people in the neighborhood just aren't very nice to us at all, but welcomed us at first, it's so weird and i'm so depressed for the first time in my life i'm in a place where i can't meet any friends.

[markg91359]

hey just moved here recently and read your post i moved here from ny and i'm non-lds and having a hard time, people in the neighborhood just aren't very nice to us at all, but welcomed us at first, it's so weird and i'm so depressed for the first time in my life i'm in a place where i can't meet any friends.

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Where in Utah do you live?

[stycotl]

I am now considering the possibility of moving to Utah county in order to take a job further south in Provo. It's scary. I'd like to think that Alpine (just south of the Point) would be more diverse. A previous comment indicates that is not so. But what to do? I've been laid off and I need a job.

Any buddhists out there in Utah County? If so, I'd like to hear from you.

i'm not buddhist, but i've had a decent amount of friends that are, and way back in the 90's (so long ago...), and a little bit last year, i was studying buddhism. world religions have always been fascinating to me, and the eventual outcome of my studies was deciding that there was no reason that we should be so religiously divided. especially when so much of what we believe and hope for is the same, even across buddhist-christian boundaries.

good luck in utah county. there are quite a few nonmormons down here with us, so don't feel like you don't fit it. most of them hang out at the colleges though, so you might have a hard time finding them if you're already past that stage.

hey just moved here recently and read your post i moved here from ny and i'm non-lds and having a hard time, people in the neighborhood just aren't very nice to us at all, but welcomed us at first, it's so weird and i'm so depressed for the first time in my life i'm in a place where i can't meet any friends.

ditto mark's question. as sugarhouse buddhist said, it really can be hit and miss depending on the area. realize though that there is a greater chance that they are not trying to be mean or unwelcoming than there is that they are just caught up in daily life and think that they're being friendly enough when they aren't. mormons struggle with finding the appropriate balance; if we're too friendly, people get suspicious; if we're too hesitant, people think we're jerks.

aaron out.

[Sugarhouse Buddhist]

hey stycotl, isn't that the truth? We all struggle with that one, Mormon or not. What I'm wondering now is, if I move across the county line, will the Mormons there sincerely welcome me - or only so long as they think I'm a prospect?

[stycotl]

Originally Posted by Sugarhouse Buddhist

hey stycotl, isn't that the truth? We all struggle with that one, Mormon or not. What I'm wondering now is, if I move across the county line, will the Mormons there sincerely welcome me - or only so long as they think I'm a prospect?

you'll likely get a mix. there will be some that think that they are too busy to be friendly unless you are walking around asking where you can get your own ctr ring.

then you will have the ones that are going to assume (stupidly, i'll admit, but it's a human issue, not a mormon one) that when you say, "no thanks, i already have my own beliefs," that this means you do not want to associate with them. they will therefore respectfully leave you alone.

then you will have the ones that want to associate with you anyway, but now feel embarrassed for having asked if you are religious, etc. they might stay away too.

then you have the group that will still try to be your friend anyway, and will be more than happy to talk, bbq, etc. i like to think that i am a member of this group.

then, unfortunately, there is the small, inbred percentage that starts sniffing the air suspiciously before they turn and run for the bomb shelter hollering about gentiles and "ma, get the rifle!"

these ones are usually more amusing than anything once you are well established and comfortable in the area. but until then, they can really hurt, and make it seem as if everyone hates you.

also, in that last example, i unfairly categorized the mean ones as redneck-ish. that is not fair to the rednecks, because (besides the fact that i would probably count as a redneck...) there are a good number of the small town folk here, even amongst the mormons, that would give anyone the shirt off of their backs without even being asked. some of those gentile-suspicious ones actually live in pretty urban areas, and for one reason or another, their social elitest attitude has decided that it is their mormonism that makes them kewl.

again, a human problem, not a mormon problem.

either way, i wish you luck. welcome to happy valley!

[SW Native]

Originally Posted by Kermusique

hey just moved here recently and read your post i moved here from ny and i'm non-lds and having a hard time, people in the neighborhood just aren't very nice to us at all, but welcomed us at first, it's so weird and i'm so depressed for the first time in my life i'm in a place where i can't meet any friends.

I'm going to guess Orem for $600

[Kermusique]

lehi, ut

[markg91359]

lehi, ut

Thank you for answering me. We've had one or more threads about living in Utah County. I think the niceness problem you've related is partly due to where you live. A number of us who are LDS and natives of Utah would not choose to live in Utah County. We believe its too socially conservative and stifling.

Moving to Salt Lake County might not be an option for you. However, if you have to stay here in Utah, I'd give some serious thought to it. You'd find a more diverse community with more non-LDS people in all likelihood. You'd probably stand a better chance of making friends.

[Kermusique]

Yes, we realized that when we moved here. We had to find a place to live quickley because of my boyfriend's job being transferred. The people I work with are all LDS and they are all great to work with, they are also always telling me to move! Unfortunately probably will be stuck where we are for a little while longer. Looking for a place to rent that will allow a dog is a little tough. Plus my boyfriend and I cannot decide where to re-locate. I wish I spent more time on the board when we were moving reading people's thoughts before we moved to Utah county. Both my boyfriend and I work and Salt Lake but don't really want to live right in the city. Anyway if anyone has any suggestions let me know. I feel for everyone having a hard time moving here. And seroiusly it's hard, unfortunately, not to blame it on feeling left out because we don't go to the church. I honestly believe some people don't want to be around people like me because I don't go to their church. But on the other hand I do have two families that wave to me in my neighborhood and the people I work with are wonderful and I have a friend from NY that lives here who is LDS that I reconnected with since I moved here, but she lives a little far away to hang with all the time. Yes I lived in NY my whole life, moved around to different towns and everything but always found it easy to make friends. Anyway any good suggestions of places to live would be welcome!

[Lmejh]

Originally Posted by Kermusique

Yes, we realized that when we moved here. We had to find a place to live quickley because of my boyfriend's job being transferred. The people I work with are all LDS and they are all great to work with, they are also always telling me to move! Unfortunately probably will be stuck where we are for a little while longer. Looking for a place to rent that will allow a dog is a little tough. Plus my boyfriend and I cannot decide where to re-locate. I wish I spent more time on the board when we were moving reading people's thoughts before we moved to Utah county. Both my boyfriend and I work and Salt Lake but don't really want to live right in the city. Anyway if anyone has any suggestions let me know. I feel for everyone having a hard time moving here. And seroiusly it's hard, unfortunately, not to blame it on feeling left out because we don't go to the church. I honestly believe some people don't want to be around people like me because I don't go to their church. But on the other hand I do have two families that wave to me in my neighborhood and the people I work with are wonderful and I have a friend from NY that lives here who is LDS that I reconnected with since I moved here, but she lives a little far away to hang with all the time. Yes I lived in NY my whole life, moved around to different towns and everything but always found it easy to make friends. Anyway any good suggestions of places to live would be welcome!

Well the Provo suburbs and the Salt Lake suburbs aren't different at all in terms of "being in the city," so moving into somewhere like Midvale or Murray or West Jordan would give you the same urban environment as Provo yet perhaps have more welcoming people there. Utah Valley is the last overly Mormon stronghold in the state whereas Salt Lake County is much more manageable. Hope Utah turns out better in the future though