Utah Valley - Can we be allowed to share our experiences? (house, neighborhoods)

[Keliko]

Your welcome. I understand for the most part people have positive experiences here, but there are people with negative experiences also who deserve to share their story.

Whenever I talk to my parents, I constantly remind them that we should of stayed in California or taken jobs at other other universities, I like to tease them a little bit. LOL

[carlymac]

Have to say I am pretty skeptical about Keliko's story. There has to be more to it.

[Cycle]

Carlymac,

Thanks for sharing your opinion.

Cycle

[Cycle]

Keliko,
Please don't engage in negative counterproductive posts with people who question the validity of your story...thank you again for sharing your experience this is a forum where we should be allowed to speak without being condemned so please do not feel as if you need to defend or explain yourself. Focus on the positive supportive people. Remember you can never be offended by a person who's opinion you place no value on.
Cycle

[stycotl]

Stycotl,

Thank you for sharing your opinion.

Cycle

no problem.

Originally Posted by Keliko

Hey,

My family totally understands where you are coming from. We are non-LDS, my brother, mother, and I are also not Caucasian. We lived in a very wealthy and predominantly LDS and Caucasian neighborhood. Both my parents were professors at the UofU, having graduated from UCLA, are business owners.

It was very hard to make friends and even acquaintances in this neighborhood, growing up we always had to travel to Sugar house to attend activities and socialize because our predominantly LDS neighbors would not allow us to interact. My mother has been told that she is not welcomed at neighborhood parties(not LDS parties) because she is not LDS, also been told she couldn't attend the junior high or elementrary parent meetings but could donate $, she had to set up meetings with the principal and teachers regarding volunteering "science," language classes she would like to set up, my brothers only two friends are not LDS (he is a very well-mannered and nice kid), the neighbors would always meet and discuss new fencing, parking, clean up day, and not even discuss this with my dad but to tell him he needs to donate to help the neighborhood, I was used to being told I wasn't invited to something because I wasn't LDS, I had a couple LDS friends who were very nice to me but I could never go to their house or when their family LDS friends show up, I would have to leave, etc...

I understand what you are going through, it's hard, I hope your kids grow up without too much hurt from these situations.

Understand there are pockets of Salt Lake County that are like this also.

all of this is idiotic, and some people just need to be kicked off of the tallest cliff available. but, when it comes to idiots trying to exclude parents from school meetings, that crosses into illegal grounds, and there is no reason why the state shouldn't have gotten involved there.

did you guys report it or anything? if so, good. if not, why?

[Keliko]

Originally Posted by carlymac

Have to say I am pretty skeptical about Keliko's story. There has to be more to it.

How typical, has to be something else to it...

No, my parents were not drug addicts, alcoholics, no abusive problems, they had plenty of friends back in Los Angeles.
No attack dogs, weren't atheists, did not practice a religion, had a sweet black lab that was kept in doors, kept the garden nice so it was not a sore sight for the neighbors, allowed the neighbors to park in our driveway when they had gatherings, the cars didn't backfire when you drove it, took their turns during the neighborhood watch, always took something over to new neighbors in the neighborhood(no, they did not poison it), didn't have rambunctious parties, kept us children in line, what else could there be!

[Keliko]

Originally Posted by stycotl

no problem.



all of this is idiotic, and some people just need to be kicked off of the tallest cliff available. but, when it comes to idiots trying to exclude parents from school meetings, that crosses into illegal grounds, and there is no reason why the state shouldn't have gotten involved there.

did you guys report it or anything? if so, good. if not, why?

Yes, my mother did report it after my brother begin 7th grade in junior high, wasn't really a problem for me when I was in school(I never let them know about parent meetings lol). It was a ridiculous circumstance actually, she attend the first meeting wanting to talk to the mothers (three of them, in the same ward)who were in charged of after school activities, classes, etc... to incorporate more math, science, foreign languages after school, they told her after the meeting they would talk to her, they would not talk to her, would not return her e-mails, would not return her phone calls, she had students who volunteered to help from the University of Utah. She reported them to the Principal, school district after finding out they also wouldn't talk to another mother, after giving them two months to respond to her. Whenever parents meet now, the principal has to be present and everyone ideas can be raised during the meetings.

Now my brother's junior high has science and foreign language activites after school.

[carlymac]

What is said or meant and what is heard or perceived are often totally different. I would have to have been there witnessing the conversations- who was saying what, what the circumstances were etc to fully understand. My hunch is that there were some communication gaps that led you to believe you were excluded because you aren't LDS. I have a very hard time imagining anyone came right out and said blatantly, you can't come to this neighborhood party because you aren't LDS. If they did, it's their problem. That is a very disfunctional person. I grew up in an east bench neighborhood and everyone was always welcome to any party.

That said, there are standards of dress, speech and behavior that are accepted as the norm. If your or your family are coming to parties drunk or using foul language or only half dressed (as those aren't issues for some people who aren't LDS) you may have gotten booted.

I don't know...there are just too many circumstances that are unexplained in your post and YES I'm trying to defend people of my faith because it's unfair to say this happened without shedding light from both sides.

There can be some major communication snafus where people totally misunderstand.

Sorry you have felt rejected. My advice is go back to those people who have offended you and find out what the real story is...unless you really dont want to associate with LDS people anyway and it doesn't really matter to you.

[kaytidid]

Originally Posted by Cycle

Kaytidid,

I wasn't aware that I was offended or that you said I was making it up or doing anything wrong...

Cycle

My mistake then, sorry. When you posted to me and stycotl that you knew that was the kind of response you would receive, I felt that I had offended you somehow. None was intended.

[Keliko]

Originally Posted by carlymac

That said, there are standards of dress, speech and behavior that are accepted as the norm. If your or your family are coming to parties drunk or using foul language or only half dressed (as those aren't issues for some people who aren't LDS) you may have gotten booted.

I don't know...there are just too many circumstances that are unexplained in your post and YES I'm trying to defend people of my faith because it's unfair to say this happened without shedding light from both sides.

There can be some major communication snafus where people totally misunderstand.

Sorry you have felt rejected. My advice is go back to those people who have offended you and find out what the real story is...unless you really dont want to associate with LDS people anyway and it doesn't really matter to you.

As stated in my above post, both of my parents condone drinking, smoking, foul language, skimpy, or baggy clothes.

My mother has tried to to communicate with the neighbors about the lack of socialization also, it was commented "we have nothing in common, not the same up bringing, not the same interests and activities" on many occasions. Uh, my mother wanted better school programs for the local schools, isn't that a common interest?!

Funny thing, had a family move in next door from California, were also not LDS, we were pretty close, would go over to each others houses for dinner, play with each others dogs, etc... my friend from a LDS family informed me that her mom and quite a few other ward members were gossiping about them...This family moved about a year after back to California.

I have met some great LDS families though in other areas, very accepting, gracious people. People I could consider family.