(Non-Mormon) Black and white couple moving to SLC or a surrounding area (Nephi: gated, deed)

[alexei27]

Originally Posted by Lmejh

Argh. I hate when people say this because I experienced the exact opposite. Sure, the Mormon kids attended Seminary in the church across the school field, but that didn't affect me one iota. I had no trouble adapting. Sure, there must be some exceptions to what I've described, but it's not 1955 anymore. Non-Mormon or not, you'll be accepted here (at least in SL County).

I don't know...of all the negative things you hear about religious pressure in Utah...public schools were really the only area where we witnessed it first hand. There were a number of non-Mormon kids in the school district where we lived who were kind of out cast by the majority. These were 2-3-4th graders...not even "mean" high school kids.

[kaytidid]

We are not LDS, and my kids haven't experienced that, although I have heard from others that it does happen.

The saddest part of that whole thing is that those children had to learn it from somewhere. It ASTOUNDS me that parents cannot teach their children that EVERYONE should be treated with respect. I have always told my kids that. You don't have to like them, you don't have to be friends with them, you MUST acknowledge someone when they are speaking to you, and you must respect them as a person. My oldest daughter has actually stood up for a boy that, for some reason, seems to be a target to be picked on. Does she particularly care for this boy? She thinks he is nice enough, but wouldn't say they are friends. More than anything though, she doesn't think that he deserves the treatment that some of the kids give him. I don't care what religion you are or aren't...whatever happened to "Do unto others as you would have done to you?"

[osugirl2]

Originally Posted by kaytidid

We are not LDS, and my kids haven't experienced that, although I have heard from others that it does happen.

The saddest part of that whole thing is that those children had to learn it from somewhere. It ASTOUNDS me that parents cannot teach their children that EVERYONE should be treated with respect. I have always told my kids that. You don't have to like them, you don't have to be friends with them, you MUST acknowledge someone when they are speaking to you, and you must respect them as a person. My oldest daughter has actually stood up for a boy that, for some reason, seems to be a target to be picked on. Does she particularly care for this boy? She thinks he is nice enough, but wouldn't say they are friends. More than anything though, she doesn't think that he deserves the treatment that some of the kids give him. I don't care what religion you are or aren't...whatever happened to "Do unto others as you would have done to you?"

I totally agree. I have a hypothesis on why this happens, but I won't go into here, however I think it partially has to do with "the head in the sand" mentality that some people describe on here amoung other things.......

[stycotl]

Originally Posted by alexei27

We have a little girl from Haiti...and another who is asian. We lived in Layton...and got on occasional strange look but over all everything was fine. We would get the occasional question about where they were from. The most extreme was one lady asked us why we didn't want kids that "looked like us" While I imagine that kind of ignorance exists everywhere...we certainly did not experience it more in SLC than anywhere else.

Our experience with religious pressure was more than any racial pressure. I do not think you'll have any problems that you wouldn't have anywhere.

Best wishes...It is a beautiful place!!

how old was the lady that asked the question? not that i am trying to generalize old people as prejudiced or anything, but most people that i have met that fit the description of this lady are grumpy old people that complain about the numbers of foreigners (nonutahns) moving into their neighborhoods. some people just can't keep up....

Originally Posted by Moonlight melvin

I never had any problems with people treating me negatively with my husband. Just a lot of stares. The main thing that was the most annoying thing ever were the stupid comments I got when I was with my kids (I have 4 young biracial children). At first I was always caught off guard, because I was surprised people would even have the nerve to say it, then it got annoying, now I just let it roll off and I ignore it/them.

what kinds of things are you talking about? if they are just asking where the kids are from, i can understand their curiosity. if they are making rude comments or asking rude questions, someone needs to whack 'em upside the head.

Originally Posted by alexei27

I don't know...of all the negative things you hear about religious pressure in Utah...public schools were really the only area where we witnessed it first hand. There were a number of non-Mormon kids in the school district where we lived who were kind of out cast by the majority. These were 2-3-4th graders...not even "mean" high school kids.

sounds like a pleasant school. when i was that age i didn't even know what religion i or anyone else was. i just knew that i recognized some people from church. it wasn't until junior high that i started to notice that not everyone believed in the same theological system that i did. even then, it was a curiosity, not an offense.

i grew up in slc and didn't notice any of these problems (note: i'm a mormon though). in fact, most of my friends growing up were nonmormon until high school, and most of them weren't white until just before junior high. even in high school though, i was good friends with a large number of nonmormons and noncaucasians, though it was harder then because kids (who am i kidding, people in general) tend to form cliques.

Originally Posted by kaytidid

We are not LDS, and my kids haven't experienced that, although I have heard from others that it does happen.

The saddest part of that whole thing is that those children had to learn it from somewhere. It ASTOUNDS me that parents cannot teach their children that EVERYONE should be treated with respect. I have always told my kids that. You don't have to like them, you don't have to be friends with them, you MUST acknowledge someone when they are speaking to you, and you must respect them as a person. My oldest daughter has actually stood up for a boy that, for some reason, seems to be a target to be picked on. Does she particularly care for this boy? She thinks he is nice enough, but wouldn't say they are friends. More than anything though, she doesn't think that he deserves the treatment that some of the kids give him. I don't care what religion you are or aren't...whatever happened to "Do unto others as you would have done to you?"

it is lost on some people, and you are right–it starts in the family.

[Moonlight melvin]

Originally Posted by stycotl

what kinds of things are you talking about? if they are just asking where the kids are from, i can understand their curiosity. if they are making rude comments or asking rude questions, someone needs to whack 'em upside the head.

"Where did you get them from? I want one!" These are children, not puppies.


Just because a child is biracial, does not automatically mean they are beautiful based on that and only that. I don't like to classify children into a "cute" or "not as cute" category in general, but to lump all biracial children as such, is just as stupid as saying all white kids are beautiful or all black kids are beautiful or <<insert your choice>> are all beautiful. Children are children!

Someone once said "It sure makes my heart feel good to see you've given these kids a good home." WTF? lol I know they don't mean any direct negativity, just common ignorance from lack of exposure to people of differences I suppose. But so if they were visually with a parent who shared the same skin color/hair type etc they might not have been in a good environment?


There seems to be some club I'm unaware of. Random people would approach me with "ooh my sister's brother in law's nephew has a biracial baby too!". Hmm...nice to know.


I guess since there's an abundance of white families adopting black children in Utah (specifically Utah County), it's to be assumed I did the same (even though I don't even look old enough to have the four I do have, let alone "look" like I am old enough to adopt, if there is such a thing).

It was never anything blatantly rude to me, but when it at one point was every single time (no exaggeration, in the year 2004, for whatever reason, that year was strange) I went to the store, it really got to be redundant and annoying.


But my family has since moved to NC and my dh is with the kids (i'm in Utah for a moment) and he's getting comments from a different approach. People are now questioning his role...and shocked that he's parenting his own children! <<gasp!!>>

[stycotl]

Originally Posted by Moonlight melvin

"Where did you get them from? I want one!" These are children, not puppies.


Just because a child is biracial, does not automatically mean they are beautiful based on that and only that. I don't like to classify children into a "cute" or "not as cute" category in general, but to lump all biracial children as such, is just as stupid as saying all white kids are beautiful or all black kids are beautiful or <<insert your choice>> are all beautiful. Children are children!

Someone once said "It sure makes my heart feel good to see you've given these kids a good home." WTF? lol I know they don't mean any direct negativity, just common ignorance from lack of exposure to people of differences I suppose. But so if they were visually with a parent who shared the same skin color/hair type etc they might not have been in a good environment?


There seems to be some club I'm unaware of. Random people would approach me with "ooh my sister's brother in law's nephew has a biracial baby too!". Hmm...nice to know.


I guess since there's an abundance of white families adopting black children in Utah (specifically Utah County), it's to be assumed I did the same (even though I don't even look old enough to have the four I do have, let alone "look" like I am old enough to adopt, if there is such a thing).

It was never anything blatantly rude to me, but when it at one point was every single time (no exaggeration, in the year 2004, for whatever reason, that year was strange) I went to the store, it really got to be redundant and annoying.


But my family has since moved to NC and my dh is with the kids (i'm in Utah for a moment) and he's getting comments from a different approach. People are now questioning his role...and shocked that he's parenting his own children! <<gasp!!>>

wow.

from my perspective, that is too funny. i realize that it is probably less amusing to one in the situation. some people are only here on earth to provide stupid humor (although sometimes i wonder if i am one of those people).

i am sorry that you have had to deal with that kind of ignorant stereotyping and stuff, but in the long run it won't matter, cuz life is short and then i get to haunt my wife until she dies! then i'll haunt my kids, then my grandkids; i already have plans for that....

[kaytidid]

Double wow!

"Where did you get them from? I want one?" *shaking my head while picking my jaw up off the floor*

[Moonlight melvin]

lol The comment about giving these kids a good home was from an old man while we were waiting in line at the checkout at Walmart. I realized he was old, stuck in his generational views and didnt bother to even respond.

But mostly the "oooh so cute, I want one" comments are from young girls, younger than me (I'm 28) that just want a baby cause they're so cute and specifically a super cute "biracial" one at that.

Oh and then once the front end manager at a local grocery store approached me when my first was a baby and volunteered that her sister's baby is "half" too.

I thought that was just part of the way people were, but I asked a couple of friends in other states with biracial kids as well (WA, WI, NC) and they were surprised at the comments/questions I got. Utah's just special I guess

[kaytidid]

Originally Posted by Moonlight melvin

Oh and then once the front end manager at a local grocery store approached me when my first was a baby and volunteered that her sister's baby is "half" too.

Oh good grief! I would have looked at her and asked "Half what? Mine is ALL human!"

[Katzpur]

My husband works with a non-LDS black man who is married to a non-LDS white woman. They were transferred here a number of years ago from Kansas City, Missouri. They love it here and have never experienced any religious or racial prejudice. The man is about to retire and they are very strongly considering staying here.