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Old 01-06-2010, 04:43 PM
 
Location: God's Gift to Mankind for flying anything
5,921 posts, read 13,811,362 times
Reputation: 5229

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Quote:
Originally Posted by easternerDC View Post
Plus, things like recommendations not to watch $ rated movies, and the no drinking, no smoking, no caffeine things as religion telling them how to live their lives.
You hit the nail on the head.

It is a *recommendation*, and you have a choice in the matter.

If you have a choice, it is NOT *control*.

When it comes to the government ...
Now there we have control.
See what happens if you decide NOT to pay taxes.

Yet, if you do not like to pay tithing, you do NOT get thrown out of church.
If you still sneak a smoke or a drink (as an LDS member) you do NOT get thrown out of church.

We lived in Southern Germany for many years. That area is predominantly Catholic. When we started there, they asked what religion I was. So I asked why do they need to know. They explained that they take out tithes from your wages. Shocked me first but then they explained why and how much. Surprising very little (something like 2% of your taxes). I asked if people sometimes choose NOT to pay, and the answer was: *Oh they would NEVER do that".

I asked why. Answer: If that happens, they would be excommunicated from church and everybody would know that, so ......
Everybody ? Yep, it gets published in the local newspaper ......

Is that Control or what ? Sounds more like *blackmail*, no ?

@ dcisive:
You said it Sir, it is a way of life, and you choose how far you want to take it in order to live a good and healthy way of life.

Last edited by irman; 01-06-2010 at 04:58 PM..

 
Old 01-11-2010, 02:53 AM
 
Location: Salt Lake, Utah
427 posts, read 1,301,949 times
Reputation: 223
Quote:
Originally Posted by dcisive View Post
I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I'm willing to bet I'll get a typical active Mormon to agree with me on this one. That one follows the commandments NOT to stay in line for anyone but for the blessings.
Right. Many religions nowdays have members regardless if they're active or not. Catholics come to mind. I know tons of catholics who don't go to church, read scriptures, or really do anything that would specifically make them a catholic except for the fact that's what they were told they were growing up. With the LDS religion, if you gain a testimony of it (i.e believe its true), then it becomes a big part of your life, as it pertains to your core beliefs about everything. Few people who don't adhere to the beliefs of being LDS would claim themselves as being LDS. There's no magic witchcraft occurring making you act Mormon. Or Mormon Mafia hitmen waiting to take you out if you don't adhere. Adhering is choice, and LDS members make that choice because they believe in it.
 
Old 01-12-2010, 02:38 PM
 
Location: vagabond
2,631 posts, read 5,444,880 times
Reputation: 1314
Quote:
Originally Posted by irman View Post
I asked why. Answer: If that happens, they would be excommunicated from church and everybody would know that, so ......
Everybody ? Yep, it gets published in the local newspaper ......

Is that Control or what ? Sounds more like *blackmail*, no ?

@ dcisive:
You said it Sir, it is a way of life, and you choose how far you want to take it in order to live a good and healthy way of life.
when i lived in argentina, you couldn't serve in the military unless you were catholic, and though i didn't ever hear it first-hand, you supposedly couldn't be an elected politician either.
 
Old 01-19-2010, 09:42 AM
 
29 posts, read 99,533 times
Reputation: 22
I have another question. I'm reading an interesting book called: Mormon America: The Power and the Promise.

The book mentions that divorce doesn't hold the same stigma for Mormons as it does for some other religions, such as Catholics. Coincidentally, I just met a very nice Mormon man who told me that this is the third marriage for both he and his current wife.

Do Mormons have a higher-than-average divorce rate until they have their "celestial" marriage in the temple? And how do these "serial monogamy" unions impact family life? Do Mormon "exes" get along better than the battling Gentile exes I know of?

Thanks again for this thread.
 
Old 01-19-2010, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Salt Lake City
27,955 posts, read 29,792,774 times
Reputation: 13082
Quote:
Originally Posted by t.ruf View Post
I have another question. I'm reading an interesting book called: Mormon America: The Power and the Promise.

The book mentions that divorce doesn't hold the same stigma for Mormons as it does for some other religions, such as Catholics. Coincidentally, I just met a very nice Mormon man who told me that this is the third marriage for both he and his current wife.

Do Mormons have a higher-than-average divorce rate until they have their "celestial" marriage in the temple? And how do these "serial monogamy" unions impact family life? Do Mormon "exes" get along better than the battling Gentile exes I know of?

Thanks again for this thread.
According to a survey by the Barna Research Group, roughly 24% of all Americans have divorced. Latter-day Saints fall right in there at the average.

Another study, published in Demography [magazine] showed that "...Mormons marrying within their church are least likely of all Americans to become divorced. Only 13 percent of LDS couples have divorced after five years of marriage, compared with 20 percent for religiously homogamist unions among Catholics and Protestants and 27 percent among Jews. However, when a Mormon marries outside his or her denomination, the divorce rate soars to 40 percent -- second only to mixed-faith marriages involving a Jewish spouse (42 percent)."

Temple marriages do appear statistically to be more stable, although it's hard to know how much more stable. Only about 6% of temple marriages end with the couple getting a temple divorce (or cancellation of sealing), but some people who get married in the temple and then get divorced simply get a civil divorce. That would allow them to remarry, but not remarry in the temple.

And with respect to Mormon "exes," from what I've heard they get along no better than the "battling Gentile exes."

By the way, don't put too much stock in what that book has to say. I read part of the first chapter when it first came out, and found so many inaccuracies within the first few pages that I decided not to bother with it. The mistakes I found were insignificant, but it made me wonder to what degree the author was really interested in getting his facts straight.
 
Old 01-19-2010, 06:02 PM
 
Location: God's Gift to Mankind for flying anything
5,921 posts, read 13,811,362 times
Reputation: 5229
Quote:
Originally Posted by t.ruf View Post
Do Mormons have a higher-than-average divorce rate until they have their "celestial" marriage in the temple? And how do these "serial monogamy" unions impact family life? Do Mormon "exes" get along better than the battling Gentile exes I know of?
-- my PERSONAL opinion ...
Many young LDS people think that a *Temple Marriage*, is like a guarantee for a successful marriage, and that stigma is then passed on to the *outside world* also.
The sad truth is that there is NO guarantee, no matter where and/or how you got married.
I, like thousands of others, have been married (to the same woman) for almost 40 years, yet we have a lot of friends, who have had their marriages absolved (Temple Divorce) and now are single parents, or have remarried and live a happy life. I am sure there are thousands of those also all over.
So, again one of those stories, kept around, without merit.

In short, Mormon life is not much different than any other group of people.
We have many friends, NOT LDS, and they are just as fun and pleasant to have around us as any other LDS family.

My wish is that we need to stop to put people into *groups*, and that includes *race* also. Doing this is only a political thing, and only will work in that realm.

In normal life, we are all very similar, with similar *problems*, and dealing with those problems the same way. Most of us succeed, and some fail, but we are all here to do the best we can, and no religious background is going to help there.

Irman out.
 
Old 01-19-2010, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Salt Lake City
27,955 posts, read 29,792,774 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irman View Post
-- my PERSONAL opinion ...
Many young LDS people think that a *Temple Marriage*, is like a guarantee for a successful marriage, and that stigma is then passed on to the *outside world* also.
The sad truth is that there is NO guarantee, no matter where and/or how you got married.
I couldn't agree more.

Quote:
I, like thousands of others, have been married (to the same woman) for almost 40 years...
Off topic, I know, but when will you be celebrating number 40? My hubby and I will have been married for 40 years in June.

Quote:
My wish is that we need to stop to put people into *groups*, and that includes *race* also. Doing this is only a political thing, and only will work in that realm.

In normal life, we are all very similar, with similar *problems*, and dealing with those problems the same way. Most of us succeed, and some fail, but we are all here to do the best we can, and no religious background is going to help there.
I second the motion!
 
Old 01-19-2010, 08:50 PM
 
Location: The other side of the mountain
2,502 posts, read 6,955,587 times
Reputation: 1301
My parents will be married 40 years in March and DH and myself will have 20 years under our belt in August. None of us were married in the temple, lol...heck, our priest (at the time) wouldn't even marry DH and I. Grrr....ticks me off still thinking about it.

Congrats to Irman and Katz on their 40 years!! Awesome!!
 
Old 01-19-2010, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Salt Lake City
27,955 posts, read 29,792,774 times
Reputation: 13082
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaytidid View Post
My parents will be married 40 years in March and DH and myself will have 20 years under our belt in August.
Congrats to all of you.

Quote:
None of us were married in the temple, lol...heck, our priest (at the time) wouldn't even marry DH and I. Grrr....ticks me off still thinking about it.
LOL! Well, my daughter and her ex-husband (both raised LDS) were not married in the temple, either. I didn't like that man from the first time I met him and during the almost 5 years they were married, I kept consoling myself by reminding myself that at least he wasn't going to be my son-in-law for eternity!

Quote:
Congrats to Irman and Katz on their 40 years!! Awesome!!
Thanks! It's a bigger accomplishment for my husband than for me, I'm afraid. I am not an easy person to live with, and he's an absolute saint!
 
Old 01-19-2010, 11:53 PM
 
Location: God's Gift to Mankind for flying anything
5,921 posts, read 13,811,362 times
Reputation: 5229
As they say in many circles ...
The secret of a long happy marriage is ... *Yes Dear ...*

All seriousness aside, a Marriage is 95% give and 5% take ...
On BOTH sides !!!!!
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