Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That said, you may wish to rethink your approach somehow. Based on some of your earlier threads where you've expressed your opinion about certain ethnic groups and social policies, I can tell you right now these types of attitudes are not well received in Vancouver. If any of these opinions came to light in a casual conversation, most people would shut you out pretty quick.
Yeah, Heaven forbid we say anything that might shatter the holy grail of multiculturalism.
My man tried making a friend here. He invited him out maybe five times in a row and each time he declined, but kept being friendly on the phone and in e-mail. Then he asks him to come help him move! My man politely declined--it's not like he's close enough with him to warrant him asking for free labor, and now the other guy won't respond. Weird.
My man tried making a friend here. He invited him out maybe five times in a row and each time he declined, but kept being friendly on the phone and in e-mail. Then he asks him to come help him move! My man politely declined--it's not like he's close enough with him to warrant him asking for free labor, and now the other guy won't respond. Weird.
...and this can ONLY happen in Vancouver, not anywhere else on the planet. Not even in LA where the people are known to be so genuine and down to earth.
...and this can ONLY happen in Vancouver, not anywhere else on the planet. Not even in LA where the people are known to be so genuine and down to earth.
Wrong. This is more LIKELY to happen in Vancouver. Each place has its own patterns of social conduct and people copy behaviors one from another more or less. Should I add Vancouver is at the bottom when it comes to a nasty antisocial character of its inhabitants and society.
My man tried making a friend here. He invited him out maybe five times in a row and each time he declined, but kept being friendly on the phone and in e-mail. Then he asks him to come help him move! My man politely declined--it's not like he's close enough with him to warrant him asking for free labor, and now the other guy won't respond. Weird.
...and this can ONLY happen in Vancouver, not anywhere else on the planet. Not even in LA where the people are known to be so genuine and down to earth.
People in LA, though perhaps they tend to take more pride in their appearance (I guess...this depends on the neighborhood), are overall more friendly and welcoming socially. For example, people would compliment me out of the blue on the street. Guys would actually ask me out--normal guys. Sales associates would make lighthearted conversation. My co-workers were very relaxed and friendly from the first day on. Here, it seems people are reluctant to move past a functional relationship, to a personal one. My neighbors, in all four places I've lived here have never done anything more than a meek hello--never an invite to hang out or anything. I've never been one to initiate conversation so can't blame them, but there is definitely a difference. People are reluctant to acknowledge someone they don't know here.
The only time a stranger here started up a conversation in the past two years was this guy at a bus stop who chose me for his angry rant about the bus stops and how he was upset about the new "East Village" nickname for Hastings/Sunrise. Well, that was more of a person yelling at me than conversation.
I have lived in Halifax, Vancouver, and now Toronto. The "unfriendliness" is not unique to any one city or location, but a social trend that is happening all over the world. We are in an age of being disconnected from one another on deep, social levels.
How many of us have experienced the following:
Sales clerk/server that has seen you many times, yet still treats you like it's the first time you have been there?
Someone in the elevator quickly pressing "close doors" button before you can get on?
The dead-eyed stare of someone you smile at in a hallway or when passing on the street?
The dismissive grunt of someone who can't even respond to a question or comment?
The co-worker/acquaintance who pretends they don't see you in the grocery store or mall?
And how many of us have done those things ourselves?
In the past, social connections were vital for survival and for obtaining information. They still are, of course, but to a much lesser degree. We have much more at our fingertips thanks to technology and the internet. While deep social connections can make you feel better and provide comfort, they are not essential to daily functioning the way they used to be.
Most can get by with very superficial and less-vested interactions, so we take the path of less resistance. Even marriage, which is perhaps the most symbolic of how less-relevant the old traditions are to our modern society, is being replaced by perpetual single-hood, where people seek each other out merely to relieve sexual needs and then go back to their 1-bedroom apartments. Alone.
As a 40-something who can remember what it was like before, I find this trend distressing. But as an introvert, I also enjoy not having to hear someone's life story while waiting for an elevator. I also don't enjoy spontaneous stranger conversations on a bus or train. But at the same time, I would love to spend an evening with peers, maybe drinking out on one of the many restaurant patios. The problem is most of us are spending so much time detached, it is upsetting when people don't respond when we do reach out.
It's almost like we are the "Seinfeld" generation; we find enough minor faults with everyone to cancel them from being prospective peers or acquaintances. The sad fact is, we are basically reducing social interaction to it's base essentials, making it more efficient but less satisfying overall. The next generations will adapt to this easily (those of us who are older see many younger folks as having little to no personality, as if bored and barely awake, but I think this is a perspective our parents and grandparents also had of us). But for many of us, this is a period of growing pains as society changes and evolves.
People in LA, though perhaps they tend to take more pride in their appearance (I guess...this depends on the neighborhood), are overall more friendly and welcoming socially. For example, people would compliment me out of the blue on the street. Guys would actually ask me out--normal guys. Sales associates would make lighthearted conversation. My co-workers were very relaxed and friendly from the first day on. Here, it seems people are reluctant to move past a functional relationship, to a personal one. My neighbors, in all four places I've lived here have never done anything more than a meek hello--never an invite to hang out or anything. I've never been one to initiate conversation so can't blame them, but there is definitely a difference. People are reluctant to acknowledge someone they don't know here.
The only time a stranger here started up a conversation in the past two years was this guy at a bus stop who chose me for his angry rant about the bus stops and how he was upset about the new "East Village" nickname for Hastings/Sunrise. Well, that was more of a person yelling at me than conversation.
Canadians are generally more reserved and keep to themselves. They also tend to be more complacent, that's what I found. I agree that with Vancouver there is a veneer of smugness or aloofness on top of the reserve.
(My Canadian ex was surprised how friendly people in California- both Southern and Northern parts- are)
I think with Canada you don't have some of the demographic mix that influences this. They don't have African-Americans who are generally very friendly and expressive. Their cities have a lot of immigrants (new ones at that and proportionately higher than most US cities)- all with different communication styles.
Also a lot of the white people in Canada have British parents/ grandparents etc and there is influence from them- this is different from white Americans, I find. And in general, I think people keep to themselves socially more in colder more northern climates. Finally, I think it's kind of an American trait to be all bubbly and gregarious even with strangers- especially in the sunbelt states.
Why don't you just move back to CA?
Last edited by f1000; 08-10-2013 at 10:27 AM..
08-10-2013, 04:24 PM
Beck Duggleby
n/a posts
I had the pleasure to visit Vancouver a few weeks ago and I can tell you all now that there isn't anything to this stereotype, or at least comparing your average Dallas citizen to your average Vancouver citizen. Yes, they are very polite and a little quiet, but that doesn't mean "unfriendly". Yes, they're reserved, yes, they're a bit antisocial, and I echo quite a few of the points made here but I suppose I have a different viewpoint of what is "friendly" versus what's "unfriendly".
They're nice people. It's one of those things, once you get to know them they open up. Whereas with Americans, generally their real nice until you find out that they're an undercover NSA worker or something.
I had the pleasure to visit Vancouver a few weeks ago and I can tell you all now that there isn't anything to this stereotype, or at least comparing your average Dallas citizen to your average Vancouver citizen. Yes, they are very polite and a little quiet, but that doesn't mean "unfriendly". Yes, they're reserved, yes, they're a bit antisocial, and I echo quite a few of the points made here but I suppose I have a different viewpoint of what is "friendly" versus what's "unfriendly".
They're nice people. It's one of those things, once you get to know them they open up. Whereas with Americans, generally their real nice until you find out that they're an undercover NSA worker or something.
That's the problem with people who visit a place for a little while and think they're suddenly experts on the people there. If you live in it for many years, you get to see how people really are. Hopefully you don't end up going insane while you're at it. I can't speak of Vancouver, since I only visited there once, yet it sounds an awful lot like Toronto. However you slice it, it's a bad situation.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
