Do People Argue With You When They Find out You're A Veggie? (dinner, vegetables)
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I have never understood why vegetarians make their lifestyle choices a discussion, not unlike lesbians who go out with a GF, no one cares or notices, until they pronounce they are "partners". Like, who cares?! Did I need that information? Why did they feel like they had to announce their lifestyle?
I don't think she's being to sensitive, she mentioned being vegetarian in a context that made sense to do so. WTF to the lesbian example? Someone mentions that the person they are with is their partner and all of sudden they brought the negetivity on themselves? I think lots of straight people have a bad habit of announcing their "lifestyle". I constantly get introduced to people's husbands or wives and listen to them complain about their spouse or tell stories of their shared vacations...wish they'd just keep their lifestyle to themselves.
Edited to add: Sometimes I have to disclose my vegetarianism. Going out in groups where you want a say in the restaurant it only makes sense, otherwise I end up at a steak house eating an iceberg lettuce salad...also when i refuse certain dishes that others offer they often see it as rude unless they know that I never eat meat. So...yes I do think that information needs to be given out sometimes, if for no other reason then I hate iceberg lettuce salads.
I don't bring up the fact that I'm a vegetarian unless the circumstances dictate that need: i.e. "what should we get on the pizza" or "let's go to that new sushi restaurant". I would be fine leaving it at that. However, I find that almost invariably, when someone first learns that I'm a vegetarian, they ask why. I respond that it's for ethical reasons. Again, I see no need to address it further.
The problem is that when you tell someone that your vegetarianism is based upon ethics, they often become defensive (assumably, they incorrectly believe that I judge them for not sharing my ethics). Sometimes, feeling the need to defend themselves, they will bring up the examples of lions and zebras, or cats and mice--which then takes us to a discussion of instinct vs. morality. What they don't understand is that personal morality is just that--it's a personal choice concerning how I live my life.
Most of my friends are meat eaters. A few are vegan, some are vegetarian. I don't worry about how others live their lives, and I don't seek to morally enlighten anyone else. If they want to give vegetarianism a try, and they have questions, I'll gladly answer them.
I think it was terribly rude of the woman at lunch to interrogate you about what you choose to eat.
I'm not a vegetarian, but I enjoy vegetarian food, if more people tried it with an open mind they might enjoy it also. Some just don't want to leave their comfort zone with food, they don't know what they're missing.
i have a friend who got accosted just for eating tofu. she wasn't even vegetarian. it hasn't happened often (more often people get defensive or even apologetic about their own diets, which also makes me uncomfortable) but I've definitely had people get judgmental when it came up that i was vegan.
i do think it's unnecessary and can be rude to announce you're vegetarian for no reason, but there's no reason to dance around it when it comes up naturally in conversation. and it's never rude or inappropriate to bring up who your partner is, jesus.
My mom used to give me a hard time when I was eating only vegetarian foods. But that was mostly because she didn't want to have to cook two different meals for the family - since my dad would have a cow (pun intended) if there was no meat on his dish.
The only other time I had problems with my choice in food, at the time, was when I was at a friend's house, and she was into the whole macrobiotic thing. And I -hate hate hate- soy, and miso. Ugh. She wouldn't shut up about how I wasn't "really" a vegetarian if I wouldn't eat tofu or miso or seaweed.
But just like meat-eaters don't say "no salad thanks, I'm a meat-eater," and instead simply say, "no thanks" to the salad, I never -ever- thought to say "no thanks, I'm a vegetarian" to an offer of meat (except to my family but only because mom was the one who bought the food and cooked the meals so she kinda had to know). A simple "no thanks" always sufficed, and no one questioned my choice.
Many times when I eat in the company of meat eaters they keep offering various meat dishes. I usually just say "no thank you, I do not eat meat".... That is it. Many times they then want to start a discussion and inform me why I should be eating meat and why it is not healthy to not eat it. When i answer their questions, they usually don't like the answers and become hostile. I have never tried to convert anyone, yet somehow they seem like they are trying to convert me, weird!!!!!! So please.... Meat eaters do NOT ask questions about vegetarianism or veganism if you can not listen to the answer to your question with an open mind and without becoming aggressive or rude. Thank you.
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The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~Henry David Thoreau
In certain parts of the country it's harder to be a vegetarian, I would think. If you're in California, no big deal, but maybe in cattle country somewhere, it might be harder. I think it's awful that people get insulted for being a veggie. I'm a wannabe vegetarian, but still eating chicken and fish.
I don't know why anyone feels they have to qualify a "no thanks." No thanks is no thanks. You don't have to tell anyone -why- no thanks. And even if they ask why, you can say, simply, "I just don't want it, thanks." And that would be the truth.
Just like ominvores don't say "pass the salad and the meat please - I'm an omnivore" you don't owe anyone an explanation of -why- you don't want meat, or why you -do- want extra hummus, or why you -really- want hummus AND salad AND a veggie burger. You want it because you want it. Explaining your choice, when an explanation isn't requested, just puts people on "alert." And if you feel that being a vegetarian is no big deal, then you wouldn't have any reason, or need, or desire, to put anyone on "alert" to your choice.
I don't know why anyone feels they have to qualify a "no thanks." No thanks is no thanks. You don't have to tell anyone -why- no thanks. And even if they ask why, you can say, simply, "I just don't want it, thanks." And that would be the truth.
It's polite, that's why -- and it doesn't put people on the spot trying to figure out what you DO want. "Oh, you don't want meatdish1? How about some meatdish2? No? What about this side dish? What's in it? Well, let's see, there's rice and veggies and chicken broth ... oh, OK ... what about THIS side dish, then?"
And so forth ad nauseum.
A simple, "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" -- said politely and non-judgmentally (which is, honestly, how most of us respond) -- prevents misunderstanding and lets people move on to more important topics.
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