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Old 10-25-2011, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Hollywood North
428 posts, read 1,045,407 times
Reputation: 725

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark of the Moon View Post
It's polite, that's why -- and it doesn't put people on the spot trying to figure out what you DO want. "Oh, you don't want meatdish1? How about some meatdish2? No? What about this side dish? What's in it? Well, let's see, there's rice and veggies and chicken broth ... oh, OK ... what about THIS side dish, then?"

And so forth ad nauseum.

A simple, "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" -- said politely and non-judgmentally (which is, honestly, how most of us respond) -- prevents misunderstanding and lets people move on to more important topics.
I agree. Saying " no thanks, I'm vegetarian" is succinct and to the point and hopefully now that person will avoid offering me meat based dishes.

 
Old 10-25-2011, 09:18 PM
 
1,378 posts, read 3,670,713 times
Reputation: 1740
I don't care if someone is vegetarian, vegan or whatever. Just don't give me a holier than thou atitude about it.
 
Old 10-25-2011, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Hollywood North
428 posts, read 1,045,407 times
Reputation: 725
Quote:
Originally Posted by LongtimeBravesFan View Post
I don't care if someone is vegetarian, vegan or whatever. Just don't give me a holier than thou atitude about it.
I know many vegetarians and vegans and can't say that I've met a "holier than thou" one. I'm sure some exist, however I think that many people (not saying you) accuse vegetarians of being holier that thou simply because the meat eater perceives that the vegetarian must be judging them for eating meat. I think in many(not all) cases it's just meat eaters being sensitive to their own perception of being judged. Perhaps some of them have a guilty conscience. The only other thing I can think of is when I've been asked why I'm vegetarain...if I give people the real reason (horrific animal cruelty on a giant scale) then somehow I'm "holier than thou"...um no they asked why and I answered, they don't like knowing about all? That's too bad. It's not my responsibility to make them feel good about eating meat.
 
Old 10-26-2011, 12:01 PM
 
2,715 posts, read 697,273 times
Reputation: 6947
I agree, DarkoftheMoon and DrowningintheRain. It DOES seem more polite to explain why you are turning down what someone offers. Otherwise it can look like you are just not wanting to try their cooking, etc.

LongTimeBravesFan, I can't see why you would have remarked about the "holier than thou" attitude with someone just simply saying, "No thanks, I'm vegetarian." Why is that any different than someone saying, "No thanks, I don't eat carbs?" or "No thanks, I'm watching my weight."
 
Old 10-26-2011, 12:31 PM
 
11,151 posts, read 14,095,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzcat22 View Post
I agree, DarkoftheMoon and DrowningintheRain. It DOES seem more polite to explain why you are turning down what someone offers. Otherwise it can look like you are just not wanting to try their cooking, etc.

LongTimeBravesFan, I can't see why you would have remarked about the "holier than thou" attitude with someone just simply saying, "No thanks, I'm vegetarian." Why is that any different than someone saying, "No thanks, I don't eat carbs?" or "No thanks, I'm watching my weight."
Or "No thanks, I don't drink" or "No thanks, I don't smoke" or "No thanks, I'm lactose intolerant" or .....

It's just common courtesy so that, as you said, it doesn't sound like you're criticizing the person or what s/he is offering you.
 
Old 10-26-2011, 05:04 PM
 
1,378 posts, read 3,670,713 times
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If someone says they don't eat meat, I wouldn't ask them why anymore than I'd ask why someone doesn't drink. I really don't care why.

But if someone declines a hamburger and then goes into a long unsolicited explanation of why they are that way, I'd call that holier than thou.

I honestly don't know anyone who is vegetarian or vegan. I knew someone in college who had stopped eating meat for health reasons and would always let us know he did that when we went to eat.
 
Old 10-29-2011, 09:55 AM
 
2,715 posts, read 697,273 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LongtimeBravesFan View Post
If someone says they don't eat meat, I wouldn't ask them why anymore than I'd ask why someone doesn't drink. I really don't care why.
LBF---if you don't care why someone is a vegetarian and you don't know anyone who is and you aren't one, why does this section of CD interest you? Of course you have the right to read anything and write anything on the forum---just curious as to why you even read this thread if vegetarianism holds no interest. I'm sure there are lots of worthwhile posts on the Nebraska forum, but since I've never been there, don't know anyone from there, and am likely never to go there, I don't read or post on the thread.

(And not meaning any offense to Nebraskans---don't know why I came up with that state...)
 
Old 10-29-2011, 12:13 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 36,145,978 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark of the Moon View Post
It's polite, that's why -- and it doesn't put people on the spot trying to figure out what you DO want. "Oh, you don't want meatdish1? How about some meatdish2? No? What about this side dish? What's in it? Well, let's see, there's rice and veggies and chicken broth ... oh, OK ... what about THIS side dish, then?"

And so forth ad nauseum.

A simple, "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" -- said politely and non-judgmentally (which is, honestly, how most of us respond) -- prevents misunderstanding and lets people move on to more important topics.
Unfortunately, it doesn't let people move on to more important topics. If it did, then this thread wouldn't have existed. Some people -will- make judgments, and some of those who judge, -will- take your statement "I'm a vegetarian" as an invitation to debate.

Whether it's what you intend or not, it's just how it is. You can accept that it -is- perceived that way by some people, or you can find some other way of saying "no thanks" without giving others the opportunity to interpret what you say as an invitation to debate.

If the host keeps offering you different dishes after you've already said "no thanks" a few times, then I'd be wondering what part of "no thanks" the host has neglected to understand. What kind of host offers each dish to each guest individually? I mean if you're talking about hors d'ourves, they're just walking around with a plate, and you're in their sight. Wave them off and let them move on to the next guest. No need to even say anything. If it's a sit-down dinner, the dishes will be on the table. If there's waiter service, the waiter doesn't care what you eat and what you don't eat. He cares only that he fulfills his duty by offering it to you. It's your option to say "no thanks."

Just like I don't say "no thanks I don't eat boiled eggs" when someone offers me boiled eggs, I don't think it's necessary for someone to say "no thanks I don't eat meat" when someone offers them meat.

And what if they don't eat meat, but they do eat all other "non-vegan" food, such as fish, chicken, eggs, cheese...

What if they don't eat eggplant, but eat all other vegetables? Do they say "no thanks I don't eat eggplant," and expect the host to remember who eats what and who doesn't eat what, or do they just say "no thanks" each time the host brings around an eggplant dish (pickled eggplant hors d'ouerves, and eggplant parmesean)?

It can get pretty confusing if the host has to remember each guest's personal dietary desires. Much easier to just offer one of each to everyone and let the guest say "no thanks" as needed.
 
Old 10-29-2011, 12:19 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 36,145,978 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drowningintherain2 View Post
I agree. Saying " no thanks, I'm vegetarian" is succinct and to the point and hopefully now that person will avoid offering me meat based dishes.
It certainly might. And then when they offer you a deviled egg, you can repeat that you're a vegetarian, and they'll wonder what that has to do with anything, since they're not offering you any meat. And then you'd have to explain to them that vegetarians also don't eat eggs, or chicken, or fish..etc. etc. And then they'll offer you the eggplant parm, and you'd have to explain further that being your particular type of vegetarian also means you don't eat cheese (for those who don't eat dairy).

And of course the ethical vegans would be explaining what that means, when they turn down the honey-drizzled baklava.

And then you'd end up in a conversation about your eating habits. Which is exactly what you are trying to avoid.

"No thanks" covers ALL of that, with no explanation necessary.
 
Old 10-29-2011, 01:06 PM
 
11,151 posts, read 14,095,910 times
Reputation: 18794
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
If the host keeps offering you different dishes after you've already said "no thanks" a few times, then I'd be wondering what part of "no thanks" the host has neglected to understand.
Thank you for proving my point! If you just say "no thanks" without explanation, the host doesn't know why you're declining a particular item and, in an effort to be a good host/ess, may continue to offer other options.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
"No thanks" covers ALL of that, with no explanation necessary.
Actually, it doesn't -- reference your own example.

I speak as a vegetarian, which you're not (although, yes, you *used to be*, IIRC), and that means our experiences are, obviously, different.

Soooooo ..... we'll just have to agree to disagree.
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