[vtbound2010]

My fiance and I might be moving from NYC to Middlebury in the near future. We love Vermont and are super excited about the move. At the same time, we're a little nervous about moving to a small town where we won't have any friends.

A lot of people on this forum seem to be making (or have made) similar moves. Did you have trouble making friends when you got to Vermont? Any tips or suggestions?

We're both around 30 years old, don't have kids and work as professionals. Like most people who make this move, we love the outdoors and the VT asthetic. Are there many people up there with similar profiles? How do we meet them?

[Vermonr]

Hi, I am happy to hear you are excited for your move. I am a native Vermonter, so I won't be able to give you first-hand advice on what your experience will be like. However from how you described yourself and your fiance it sounds like you both will fit in quite well.

A lot of people post on this forum saying that they found great difficulty making friends in Vermont. I honestly believe that this is a problem most everyone faces when they move somewhere new. Vermonters tend to be very reserved. I think the key to making friends in VT is to strike a balance between involving yourself in the community and giving native VTers their space. The natives might be a bit apprehensive when you first move in, but only because we have seen a lot of people from other states attempt to take over local politics and command other aspects of our lives. If you can prove to VTers that you don't wish to "change" their way of life and if you are supportive of the community you should make friends easily .

Middlebury is a lovely town and I hope you enjoy Vermont.

[vtbound2010]

Vermonr,

Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I can tell you with certainty that I have zero desire to command anyone else's life. I'm not sure I even have command over my own life.

My past moves were for school (where there are hundreds of people my own age that all needed to make friends too) and for a job at a large firm with large incoming class of new hires (who were all relocating form out of town and needed to make friends too). This move is different. We're both moving to small companies and most people we meet are already going to be much more established in the community, with existing friends, plans, lives etc.

I know friend making is something that happens organically, on its own, but I still wonder where I'm going to meet people. I guess we'll make it work.

I saw an ad on a bulletin board for a kayaking club that we'll probably join in the summer. I think the bike shop in town might to group rides as well. If I can get into good enough shape not to totally embarass myself, that might be a good way to go too.

[GypsySoul22]

My advice would be to join a club or something you like to do (a lot of people swear by church).

You may also find your friends are 'out of staters.' I have to say the most welcoming people have been foreign or out of staters like ourselves. You may meet people from work. They might take a while to warm up to you but it can happen.

In addition, you will see this is a much different environment from NYC. In Nov-Spring you may not see anyone around once it gets dark. I am not familiar with the town you are moving to but there is no 'main street night life' or walking around after dark like you'd get in NYC in winter. People hole up a lot here. Even in my complex, by 6 pm everyone is inside and the tv is flickering in every apartment.

You get the feeling you're missing something in the world. That's part of the reason I am moving out of this state. It's too isolated (which is a good thing in part). The first year the loneliness was really rough. You may experience a bit of that.

If you have a job, at least it's a place to go to each day. Being unemployed here for the majority of my time, well, I just feel like I have no anchor. It doesn't help that 'there is really very little to do' here.

[mountainclimber]

As GyspySoul said, I think you should join a club. The Green Mountain Club in VT and the Adirondack Mountain Club in NY are very easy to join, and the experience is really whatever you want it to be. Look into it when you have time.

I've found it very easy to meet people in rural VT and rural NY. Being from a city, I held back more.

[Sherylcatmom]

Originally Posted by mountainclimber

As GyspySoul said, I think you should join a club. The Green Mountain Club in VT and the Adirondack Mountain Club in NY are very easy to join, and the experience is really whatever you want it to be. Look into it when you have time.

I've found it very easy to meet people in rural VT and rural NY. Being from a city, I held back more.

Ditto to all of this. It reflects my experience here. I've made friends more easily in Vermont than anywhere in my life since I was a kid at sleepaway camp!

I work from home so that hasn't been a source of ongoing in-person connection the way jobs are for some. The best friend-finding sources for me have been causes and groups that reflect my values:

• Volunteering for animals
• Volunteering for local causes
• The local co-op & farmers market where we do all our grocery shopping

[Logs and Dogs]

My experience is based on the past 2-3 years in the NEK………….like anywhere in New England people are a little reserved when it comes to “new folks”, from the banter on this board people make it out like native Vermonters have a monopoly on this attitude but my experience is different. We now know and call “friends” more people in VT than where we have lived in MA for 10 years, by a long shot.

If you move into any reasonably small town and start shaking things up and swimming up stream against long term residents you are going to run into some issues. We have “proven” ourselves to some of the locals in the area by working our asses off building our house ourselves each weekend for a year and it is hard to outwork Vermonters, but we did. That went a long way to respect as well as the fact that we share many common interests etc. I just went hunting with two “natives” the other day on their invite and we had a good time. Plan on doing it again and I will return the favor in the fall. I would say it hasn’t been hard to make friends, I was also conscious of wanting to “fit in” as I was familiar with the area from years of visiting and knew the local vibe.

I would say the whole join a group that supports the hobbies you like………..it has worked for us as well. Trail groups, hunting groups, church, etc. whatever blows your hair back……….

I always make a point of self-deprecating humor and I usually find a way to slip into a first time conversation something that lets them know that we “get it” and we aren’t here to run for town council and try to pave all the roads and bring Wal Mart in.

For example a common question we get is “Are you planning on moving up full time?” To which my well constructed answer is something like, “Would love to, but unfortunately no, while people in Ma have their priorities all screwed up for the most part, our family is south and our jobs pay the bills and in this economy I would never think of coming up here and trying to compete with natives for the few good jobs that are available. That isn’t who we are.” Usually at that point people realize we are there for the right reasons or are at least interested in a further conversation.

Your mileage may vary.

Plus, Middlebury is like Southern New England anyways ;-)

[Summerz]

I live near Middlebury and do most of my shopping ect. there.

The local paper.

Addison County Independent | Covering the 23 towns of Addison County, Vermont

Community events ect.

Community Calendar | Addison County Independent

Actually quite a few people commute from N.Y. to work in this area.
I am from out of state, I moved a lot as a kid, so always used to being the new kid on the block lol.
In the summer I think we are outnumbered by tourists anyways.

Met most of my friends through work, and volunteered on Rescue for 10 years, met many people doing that also.
(the bowling alley was a fun place,,,sadly it's a dollar store now)

[LisaMc46]

I moved to Vermont 8 years ago from northern N.J. It was difficult to make friends at first (Vermonters tend to be very reserved) but we have no shortage of friends now. We also have great neighbors who help each other whenever there's a need.

My advice would be to get involved in your community as soon as possible. Small towns are desperate for volunteers. Just find a place where you can use your skills and interests to be of service and you'll have no trouble making friends. Church is also a great place to meet people as most congregations tend to be quite small and close-knit.

Also, if you decide to have kids someday, you'll find it's a great way to meet people through playgroups, school, sports, etc.

[ProudDogMama]

Ways to meet people in Vermont: Going to burlington and it's many social spots; Join one of the many Resorts in ski areas for skiing in winter- but also for everything from yoga & Gym classes to massages to outdoor pool access in summer.

Visit Public swimming holes in Summer. Find and read Bulletin boards (yes, you read that correctly!). Go To FARMERS MARKETS, especially in waitsfield- on saturdays. Advertise in local paper to host/start or join a Book, Language, or Cooking/dining Club.

Good Luck!